(no subject)
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and
trouble to send me your chain letters over the past two years.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and
wealthy. Because of your concern.......
.........................
I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove
toilet stains.
.........................
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people
who make these products are atheists who refuse to put
"Under God" on their cans.
........................
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it
causes cancer.
...........................
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because
I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
.............................
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I
smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
..........................
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will
drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
.............................
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since
they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
..........................
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and
don't support our troops.
..........................
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the
phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
..........................
I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens
they contain will turn me gay.
............................
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually
horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
.........................
I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and
take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub
full of ice.
.............................
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my
prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and
make a wish within 5 minutes.
...............................
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick
girl who has been dying for the past seven years.
................................
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change
once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are
sending me for participating in their special e-mail
program.
..............................
I WILL NOW RETURN THE FAVOR.....
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in
the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly
over your head at 5:00 PM and the fleas of a thousand
camels will infest your armpits.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a
friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and
he's a lawyer. So you'd better get going on that e-mail!!!
trouble to send me your chain letters over the past two years.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and
wealthy. Because of your concern.......
.........................
I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove
toilet stains.
.........................
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people
who make these products are atheists who refuse to put
"Under God" on their cans.
........................
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it
causes cancer.
...........................
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because
I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
.............................
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I
smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
..........................
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will
drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
.............................
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since
they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
..........................
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and
don't support our troops.
..........................
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the
phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
..........................
I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens
they contain will turn me gay.
............................
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually
horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
.........................
I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and
take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub
full of ice.
.............................
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my
prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and
make a wish within 5 minutes.
...............................
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick
girl who has been dying for the past seven years.
................................
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change
once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are
sending me for participating in their special e-mail
program.
..............................
I WILL NOW RETURN THE FAVOR.....
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in
the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly
over your head at 5:00 PM and the fleas of a thousand
camels will infest your armpits.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a
friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and
he's a lawyer. So you'd better get going on that e-mail!!!