(no subject)
God. It just doesnt stop.
My day, and i do mean my entire day.
Last nite, i went to bed at about 11 o'clock. SAT tommorow, it was good. So i was sleeping, and i was having a sort of scary dream. I heard my mom being like attacked, and was running to help her. So I actualy heard a door slam, and somebody jiggling the door, trying to get it open. Comming out of my dream, my body was launched into high adreneline mode, and i jump out of bed, throw open my door, and bellow out a "Whats going on out here!" It was very much like a bear making itself look bigger to scare away an attacker. So after i jump out of bed, my brother jumps out too, and my sister, who is across the hall, is out of her door in this dark hallway after she heard me. The lights come on, and it is my father. Dumbass. I thought it was a fucking rapist. Obviously, he and my mother were having issues. He screams at us "go back in your room" and i just stand there, trying to compose myself. He screams it again, and i start to move slowly. I really dont like him. So, i manage to get back to sleep, and 15 min later, at about 2:30 in the morning, there is a sheriff's officer at our door, talking to my mother. My father is gone. I crack the door to hear what they are taking about. I hear things like "Injunction," "Jail," and "Domestic Battery". Battery? What?!?! Well my sister told me that she heard my mother screaming that my father was a "fucking ho'" and she thought that she threw something and busted in the back window of his car. Well it didnt haappen. My mother didnt bust in the back window of his car. But she is talking to the officer about her options, and tells him that they went out to talk about the marrige. She thought that it was improving. He didnt. It gets fuzzy here, but we do kno that he ended up smacking her.
I am pissed like a mothafucker.
I wait until the cop leaves to go and look at my mother. I saw that the left side of her face was destroyed. She was bleeding over her eyebrow. Its sort of how boxers get the cut over the eye when they are hit. Well, i saw blood and then i wanted blood. She was crying, and in the midst of that, she said that he said that she was going to pay. This shit just gets better and better. At this point, she has boldted the door, and locked up the house to prevent him from gettign in. Half an hour later, he is bak in the house. She doesnt kno how he got in. He used the back door. He deliberately left it open to get back in. At this point, i am furious. She is talking to him, and in the midst of it i hear "B/c i love you!" You dumb bitch. How fucking stupid can you be. This is the shit that i am talking about. He leaves. It is about 3:30. I am not going back to sleep. So i get dressed. I hve the SAT in 5 hours. What the hell. I am sitting in the living room, on the computer, running a mini-SAT program, but that is only my destractor. I am actualy planning. I have never felt such hatred towards another human being than i feel for him. I was going to kill him, with all seriousness. I wanted his blood. But not before i broke both of his knees. they cause him alot of pain. I was going to call his parents, and tell them that if he called, I was looking for him. I was going to call Her mother and grandmother to see if they could talk some sense into her. But I wanted him. I was going to kill him with his own sword. He got it on one of his trips to japan when he was in the navy. He told us when we were kids that if we touched it, he would cut off our hands. My brother and sister still feel somewhat ill when they have the opportunity, without his knowlwge, to touch it. But the very sword tht i was threatened with would be the sword that i would strike him down with.
Like i said, i was sitting at the computer, planning, when my mother came out. She was tired. She was hurt. She was concerned b/c she didnt want my test score to be fucked up. She gave me a hug, and i told her that he is done. I told her that i vowed to myself that i would never let him touch her like that again. And i have. If i had known what he did when i flung open the door, i would have dropped him then. She told me that she didnt want me to "step to him." b/c she didnt want me hurt. She made me promise to her that i wouldnt confront him for being a bitch. I did. He will remain alive. For now.
I didnt go to bed. he came back into the house, through the front door, and got into his bed. He doesnt deserve it. THEN! he told me to lock the door after i left. How ironic. to protect him, and his family from the horrors of the world. Too bad the horror is in her bed.
I left at 5:30. Got to school about 7. Took the SAT. Twas riddiculous. I didnt get Hilley as a proctor. My proctor was stupid. She kept looking at me. I wanted to ask her what the hell her problem was. But i restrained myself. I finished the SAT at about 12. Saw Nay, Yessika, and the tech people. I left promptly at 12 25. I got downtown. I sat down. Worked for a while. Walked down to Planet Smoothie. Didnt see Mr.Sparrow. The girl that was working asked me if i was his friend. I said yes. She said that he was going to be in in aobut 1/2 hr. I must have had a "do i care" look on my face, b/c she then added quietly "if you were comming to see him or whatever..." I gave a fake look of concern. She made me a pinapple/straberry smothie. It didnt taste as good as when Nick made it.
I got home, and questioned My mother says she doesnt kno what she is going to do. I yelled at herf or a good 20 min about how she was disillusioned, in denial, had stupid ideas. The list went on. The entire left side of her face was bruised. her eye has a huge blood vessel break in it. she looks like hell hit her with a flammign bat. Or just a pussy with a heavy hand...
He is back in the house tonite, acting like there is nothing wrong. I told her that i would not instigate, but i would defend myself if needbe. And self defense is encompassing of the defense of others. I do have my razor, and if he decides to fuck around, I'm just going to cut him. Period.
We'll see what she does tommorow.
-M.
My day, and i do mean my entire day.
Last nite, i went to bed at about 11 o'clock. SAT tommorow, it was good. So i was sleeping, and i was having a sort of scary dream. I heard my mom being like attacked, and was running to help her. So I actualy heard a door slam, and somebody jiggling the door, trying to get it open. Comming out of my dream, my body was launched into high adreneline mode, and i jump out of bed, throw open my door, and bellow out a "Whats going on out here!" It was very much like a bear making itself look bigger to scare away an attacker. So after i jump out of bed, my brother jumps out too, and my sister, who is across the hall, is out of her door in this dark hallway after she heard me. The lights come on, and it is my father. Dumbass. I thought it was a fucking rapist. Obviously, he and my mother were having issues. He screams at us "go back in your room" and i just stand there, trying to compose myself. He screams it again, and i start to move slowly. I really dont like him. So, i manage to get back to sleep, and 15 min later, at about 2:30 in the morning, there is a sheriff's officer at our door, talking to my mother. My father is gone. I crack the door to hear what they are taking about. I hear things like "Injunction," "Jail," and "Domestic Battery". Battery? What?!?! Well my sister told me that she heard my mother screaming that my father was a "fucking ho'" and she thought that she threw something and busted in the back window of his car. Well it didnt haappen. My mother didnt bust in the back window of his car. But she is talking to the officer about her options, and tells him that they went out to talk about the marrige. She thought that it was improving. He didnt. It gets fuzzy here, but we do kno that he ended up smacking her.
I am pissed like a mothafucker.
I wait until the cop leaves to go and look at my mother. I saw that the left side of her face was destroyed. She was bleeding over her eyebrow. Its sort of how boxers get the cut over the eye when they are hit. Well, i saw blood and then i wanted blood. She was crying, and in the midst of that, she said that he said that she was going to pay. This shit just gets better and better. At this point, she has boldted the door, and locked up the house to prevent him from gettign in. Half an hour later, he is bak in the house. She doesnt kno how he got in. He used the back door. He deliberately left it open to get back in. At this point, i am furious. She is talking to him, and in the midst of it i hear "B/c i love you!" You dumb bitch. How fucking stupid can you be. This is the shit that i am talking about. He leaves. It is about 3:30. I am not going back to sleep. So i get dressed. I hve the SAT in 5 hours. What the hell. I am sitting in the living room, on the computer, running a mini-SAT program, but that is only my destractor. I am actualy planning. I have never felt such hatred towards another human being than i feel for him. I was going to kill him, with all seriousness. I wanted his blood. But not before i broke both of his knees. they cause him alot of pain. I was going to call his parents, and tell them that if he called, I was looking for him. I was going to call Her mother and grandmother to see if they could talk some sense into her. But I wanted him. I was going to kill him with his own sword. He got it on one of his trips to japan when he was in the navy. He told us when we were kids that if we touched it, he would cut off our hands. My brother and sister still feel somewhat ill when they have the opportunity, without his knowlwge, to touch it. But the very sword tht i was threatened with would be the sword that i would strike him down with.
Like i said, i was sitting at the computer, planning, when my mother came out. She was tired. She was hurt. She was concerned b/c she didnt want my test score to be fucked up. She gave me a hug, and i told her that he is done. I told her that i vowed to myself that i would never let him touch her like that again. And i have. If i had known what he did when i flung open the door, i would have dropped him then. She told me that she didnt want me to "step to him." b/c she didnt want me hurt. She made me promise to her that i wouldnt confront him for being a bitch. I did. He will remain alive. For now.
I didnt go to bed. he came back into the house, through the front door, and got into his bed. He doesnt deserve it. THEN! he told me to lock the door after i left. How ironic. to protect him, and his family from the horrors of the world. Too bad the horror is in her bed.
I left at 5:30. Got to school about 7. Took the SAT. Twas riddiculous. I didnt get Hilley as a proctor. My proctor was stupid. She kept looking at me. I wanted to ask her what the hell her problem was. But i restrained myself. I finished the SAT at about 12. Saw Nay, Yessika, and the tech people. I left promptly at 12 25. I got downtown. I sat down. Worked for a while. Walked down to Planet Smoothie. Didnt see Mr.Sparrow. The girl that was working asked me if i was his friend. I said yes. She said that he was going to be in in aobut 1/2 hr. I must have had a "do i care" look on my face, b/c she then added quietly "if you were comming to see him or whatever..." I gave a fake look of concern. She made me a pinapple/straberry smothie. It didnt taste as good as when Nick made it.
I got home, and questioned My mother says she doesnt kno what she is going to do. I yelled at herf or a good 20 min about how she was disillusioned, in denial, had stupid ideas. The list went on. The entire left side of her face was bruised. her eye has a huge blood vessel break in it. she looks like hell hit her with a flammign bat. Or just a pussy with a heavy hand...
He is back in the house tonite, acting like there is nothing wrong. I told her that i would not instigate, but i would defend myself if needbe. And self defense is encompassing of the defense of others. I do have my razor, and if he decides to fuck around, I'm just going to cut him. Period.
We'll see what she does tommorow.
-M.