Where did my voice go?
That I don't know, but it screamed this morning. Under the haze that moving from the sub-concious to concious I just shrugged it off as the usual dread I carry with me.
I pushed my mouse too and fro during the first part of the morning, but accomplished little. The lingering tasks of the day to day just couldn't be worked with; I did nothing.
At lunch I wept at the strain I've placed myself under.
I'm too tired to do anything else.
I've doing support for big companies for about the last month, and the day to day grind. I can make any uniform sense out of the tasks required. Nothing required is out of my capability. But the sheer wave of madness. And my boss deals with 3-4x the same work load. He can handle it.
And I could handle it too. But it's all that I would be doing. The energy required to make my work with Telenav up to snuff(admittedly my own marker) is pulling from everything else. I'm constantly lacking the pep I've known to have possessed.
And it kills me that I'm not incapable, but unwilling to put the time and energy to do good work.
I need a change of scenery. And it's the last thing I want to do to Nel and Nate. But the work won't change for at least 4 or 5 months. I simply can't handle the constant bombardment. It doesn't stop, and I feel like I'm sinking when I should be swimming.
They pay me to work, and it is my personal promise that I will do good work for them for which they pay. I suppose I've stayed there for the security, as I do good work and make a good wage. And especially with the way things are going now with the larger society and world, do I really want to play with such fire?
Yes.
I pushed my mouse too and fro during the first part of the morning, but accomplished little. The lingering tasks of the day to day just couldn't be worked with; I did nothing.
At lunch I wept at the strain I've placed myself under.
I'm too tired to do anything else.
I've doing support for big companies for about the last month, and the day to day grind. I can make any uniform sense out of the tasks required. Nothing required is out of my capability. But the sheer wave of madness. And my boss deals with 3-4x the same work load. He can handle it.
And I could handle it too. But it's all that I would be doing. The energy required to make my work with Telenav up to snuff(admittedly my own marker) is pulling from everything else. I'm constantly lacking the pep I've known to have possessed.
And it kills me that I'm not incapable, but unwilling to put the time and energy to do good work.
I need a change of scenery. And it's the last thing I want to do to Nel and Nate. But the work won't change for at least 4 or 5 months. I simply can't handle the constant bombardment. It doesn't stop, and I feel like I'm sinking when I should be swimming.
They pay me to work, and it is my personal promise that I will do good work for them for which they pay. I suppose I've stayed there for the security, as I do good work and make a good wage. And especially with the way things are going now with the larger society and world, do I really want to play with such fire?
Yes.