An effort to make it all worse.
I woke up around 9.
In the morning.
I had decided it was an absolutely splendid idea to go to the grocery store and steal a sandwich.
I was going to the grocery store, but I had a headache. I stopped on the bench on the way to the grocery store. My head exploded.
I was going to the grocery store, but this time I had taken some aspirin before I left. I turned past the corner. I saw some guy's head explode.
I was going to the grocery store, having taken an aspirin and drank the rest of my beer. No one was around, so I pissed on a bench. My head exploded.
I was going to the grocery store to steal a sandwich (The goal of this must be kept in mind.) But first, I took an aspirin, drank what beer I had left in the fridge, and went and used the bathroom. This put me five minutes behind schedule. I walked down the street, and being five minutes behind schedule, decided not to sit on the bench. When my head didn't explode, I continued walking to the grocery store where I reached the parking lot. I got run over by a guy trying to avoid a shopping cart. I fucked up his car.
I was standing on the corner, beside a bench. I was feeling kind of dizzy, so I sat down and pondered what kind of sandwich to steal. I stood up and walked to the grocery store. In the parking lot some guy had run over a kid and seriously fucked up his car. He fucked it up so bad he was crying. I entered the grocery store, and saw a beautiful woman. As she was going in the direction of the deli section, I fllowed her. She turned and started looking at the fruit juices. I asked her if she liked crangrape, and she said "No." I continued about my busimess, and stole the sandwich. I returned to the juice aisle and said "Hello. I have a large turkey and ham sandwich in my pants. The meat is smothered in mustard and mayonaisse." She responded. Feeling depressed, I turned and walked away. Leaving the grocery store, my head exploded.
I asked for a hint.
"Don't you know that everyone meets the love of their life in a grocery store?"
I said thanks, then corrected His grammar.
I got fifteen bonus points.
I entered the parking lot, and watched with horror as some horrible man ran over a child. The poor child had his brains splattered all over the concrete. I walked into the grocery store, almost in tears. I made a mental note to stop drinking, sober people don't cry. As I was walking towards the delicatessen, I noticed a beautiful young lady observing the juices. I told her I thought she was the love of my life. She took my hand and looked me in the eye. We kissed. As we were leaving the grocery store, my head exploded.
I went into the grocery store. On my way to the delicatessen, I saw a hot babe staring at some bottles. I told her I thought she was the love of my life. She took my hand and looked me in the eye. We kissed. We were about to leave, but I really felt that I should steal the sandwich. So I asked "Why do I have to steal the sandwich?"
"If you don't steal the sandwich, you will live happily ever after with the love of your life. Instead, you will get arrested for something as stupid as shoplifting, and she'll never talk to you again. You'll die in pain from a multitude of STDs."
I went back and stole the sandwich.
I mean, shit, it was destiny.
------
Sorry. I'm in a really bad mood, and subjecting the three people who have me friended to really bad fiction from when I was in high school, that makes me feel better.
- Attack Squad Robert
In the morning.
I had decided it was an absolutely splendid idea to go to the grocery store and steal a sandwich.
I was going to the grocery store, but I had a headache. I stopped on the bench on the way to the grocery store. My head exploded.
I was going to the grocery store, but this time I had taken some aspirin before I left. I turned past the corner. I saw some guy's head explode.
I was going to the grocery store, having taken an aspirin and drank the rest of my beer. No one was around, so I pissed on a bench. My head exploded.
I was going to the grocery store to steal a sandwich (The goal of this must be kept in mind.) But first, I took an aspirin, drank what beer I had left in the fridge, and went and used the bathroom. This put me five minutes behind schedule. I walked down the street, and being five minutes behind schedule, decided not to sit on the bench. When my head didn't explode, I continued walking to the grocery store where I reached the parking lot. I got run over by a guy trying to avoid a shopping cart. I fucked up his car.
I was standing on the corner, beside a bench. I was feeling kind of dizzy, so I sat down and pondered what kind of sandwich to steal. I stood up and walked to the grocery store. In the parking lot some guy had run over a kid and seriously fucked up his car. He fucked it up so bad he was crying. I entered the grocery store, and saw a beautiful woman. As she was going in the direction of the deli section, I fllowed her. She turned and started looking at the fruit juices. I asked her if she liked crangrape, and she said "No." I continued about my busimess, and stole the sandwich. I returned to the juice aisle and said "Hello. I have a large turkey and ham sandwich in my pants. The meat is smothered in mustard and mayonaisse." She responded. Feeling depressed, I turned and walked away. Leaving the grocery store, my head exploded.
I asked for a hint.
"Don't you know that everyone meets the love of their life in a grocery store?"
I said thanks, then corrected His grammar.
I got fifteen bonus points.
I entered the parking lot, and watched with horror as some horrible man ran over a child. The poor child had his brains splattered all over the concrete. I walked into the grocery store, almost in tears. I made a mental note to stop drinking, sober people don't cry. As I was walking towards the delicatessen, I noticed a beautiful young lady observing the juices. I told her I thought she was the love of my life. She took my hand and looked me in the eye. We kissed. As we were leaving the grocery store, my head exploded.
I went into the grocery store. On my way to the delicatessen, I saw a hot babe staring at some bottles. I told her I thought she was the love of my life. She took my hand and looked me in the eye. We kissed. We were about to leave, but I really felt that I should steal the sandwich. So I asked "Why do I have to steal the sandwich?"
"If you don't steal the sandwich, you will live happily ever after with the love of your life. Instead, you will get arrested for something as stupid as shoplifting, and she'll never talk to you again. You'll die in pain from a multitude of STDs."
I went back and stole the sandwich.
I mean, shit, it was destiny.
------
Sorry. I'm in a really bad mood, and subjecting the three people who have me friended to really bad fiction from when I was in high school, that makes me feel better.
- Attack Squad Robert