sanctimonious claptrap (titles as defence mechanisms) brackets the same also
I walked the dodgy way to Tesco to try and ensure some trouble. On the way I crossed the roads without looking left or right or even left again. I wanted to get what I deserved. I did not get run over, nor have any trouble whatsoever from any cars. I didn’t get a kicking either.
The more you try to erase me the more that I appear.
Stalin said: “The death of one is a tragedy. The death of a thousand is a statistic.” I only ever broke one girls heart.
The more you try to erase me the more that I appear.
Just because you do the noblest thing does not make you noble. I decided to do it when I was on the toilet in Observatory. I pulled my jeans up. Everything was slow. I actually had the audacity to ring and ask if she would pick me up. I said my goodbyes and went outside. She wasn’t there and I rang her again to ask where she was. Her tone on the phone makes me cry. She was so happy. So joyful. So bouncy. She gave me a flower when I got in the car. She gave me a flower and I got what I deserved…
The more you try to erase me the more that I appear.
…I fell back into the car seat and said: “oh. my. god.” She asked me what was wrong. I said “I will tell you when we get to mine” and she swallowed. I hear her swallow. I heard her heart break under suspicion of something. She swallowed and paused and said: “can’t you tell me now?” e.a.r.n.e.s.t.l.y.
The more you try and erase me the more that I appear.
” I don’t want to go out with you anymore.” and I have never heard those words come out of my mouth and I have never heard those words come out of my mouth and I have never heard those words come out of my mouth…and parts of me died. They will never be restored.
“Why?” and she swallowed before it and I knew that it hurt her to ask.
“I don’t love you like that anymore.” and another few parts died. The wounds hurt this very second. and it is I the perpetrator of my wounds. and hers.
The more you try the more that I appear.
Just because you do the noblest thing does not make you noble. I am not explaining myself to any of you because I do not need to. I do not want to. what I will say is that fives years is familiarity regardless of who that familiar might be. she…we made me…us who we are. do you understand. do you understand.
because I don’t. I can’t. and I have gotten what I deserve and I am in limbo purgatory and the future could really go either way and that is something you do not have to try and comprehend with five years familiarity. do you understand.
and is love in the mind or is love in the body. and is love love at all.
The more times passes the less it heals.
and who is anyone to affect another human being. and who is anyone.
and what are tears. and do they make you feel better. or do they make you feel worse. or are they symbolisers of what it is you feel. and what does it matter. because these are tears. and what else matters.
and what matters.
and life is questions and life is answers and the two are disproportionate and that is a mortal wound we all carry about our person if I may be so bold to include you all for a short while.
and can you be friends after five years. and would this fuel the belief that after five years this was all there ever was going to be in the end and what would that do and I do not know much and I sometimes think I know nothing and I am sorry sorry sorry for everything but I do not know who I am more sorry to me or anyone else and that is another mortal wound though I am not sure we all carry that particular one.
.t.h.a.n.k. y.o.u. f.o.r. y.o.u.r. t.i.m.e.
20th July 2006
The more you try to erase me the more that I appear.
Stalin said: “The death of one is a tragedy. The death of a thousand is a statistic.” I only ever broke one girls heart.
The more you try to erase me the more that I appear.
Just because you do the noblest thing does not make you noble. I decided to do it when I was on the toilet in Observatory. I pulled my jeans up. Everything was slow. I actually had the audacity to ring and ask if she would pick me up. I said my goodbyes and went outside. She wasn’t there and I rang her again to ask where she was. Her tone on the phone makes me cry. She was so happy. So joyful. So bouncy. She gave me a flower when I got in the car. She gave me a flower and I got what I deserved…
The more you try to erase me the more that I appear.
…I fell back into the car seat and said: “oh. my. god.” She asked me what was wrong. I said “I will tell you when we get to mine” and she swallowed. I hear her swallow. I heard her heart break under suspicion of something. She swallowed and paused and said: “can’t you tell me now?” e.a.r.n.e.s.t.l.y.
The more you try and erase me the more that I appear.
” I don’t want to go out with you anymore.” and I have never heard those words come out of my mouth and I have never heard those words come out of my mouth and I have never heard those words come out of my mouth…and parts of me died. They will never be restored.
“Why?” and she swallowed before it and I knew that it hurt her to ask.
“I don’t love you like that anymore.” and another few parts died. The wounds hurt this very second. and it is I the perpetrator of my wounds. and hers.
The more you try the more that I appear.
Just because you do the noblest thing does not make you noble. I am not explaining myself to any of you because I do not need to. I do not want to. what I will say is that fives years is familiarity regardless of who that familiar might be. she…we made me…us who we are. do you understand. do you understand.
because I don’t. I can’t. and I have gotten what I deserve and I am in limbo purgatory and the future could really go either way and that is something you do not have to try and comprehend with five years familiarity. do you understand.
and is love in the mind or is love in the body. and is love love at all.
The more times passes the less it heals.
and who is anyone to affect another human being. and who is anyone.
and what are tears. and do they make you feel better. or do they make you feel worse. or are they symbolisers of what it is you feel. and what does it matter. because these are tears. and what else matters.
and what matters.
and life is questions and life is answers and the two are disproportionate and that is a mortal wound we all carry about our person if I may be so bold to include you all for a short while.
and can you be friends after five years. and would this fuel the belief that after five years this was all there ever was going to be in the end and what would that do and I do not know much and I sometimes think I know nothing and I am sorry sorry sorry for everything but I do not know who I am more sorry to me or anyone else and that is another mortal wound though I am not sure we all carry that particular one.
.t.h.a.n.k. y.o.u. f.o.r. y.o.u.r. t.i.m.e.
20th July 2006