Venting

[redlightrevery]

I need to vent.
Its 1 oclock in the moring.
im trying to find a reason to stay up,
a reason not to sleep. but why? I have to get
up early tomorrow i have work at 11. Im tired
and confused. I dont even know if i feel alone anymore.
I dont think about it. I just go on with the days.
I guess iv been here a week. It feels like 2 months.
free thought...
still saving for a car, trying to pay issak mom off.
trying to finish high school, trying to stay positive.
Trying to get closer to god, trying to do things right.
trying not to get weak, and fall into depression.
trying to play good music, trying to feel alive.
trying to not worry, trying to enjoy life.
Trying to find myself.
I search so much. I have so many questions.
I feel so much guilt inside of me.
I feel like everyone is watching me;
yet theres no one around.
it wont get to me.
I have god. he keeps me strong and focused.
good. im tired now.
sleep.