Dreams: Wii Shovelware and Lost Media
Hidden among the files of a Wii shovelware "50,000 Minigames That SUCK!"-type game is a live-action short film directed by the creators of South Park. It's a rare piece of media that was considered lost until some data miners found an MPEG of the movie on the Wii game. No one knows how it got there, and Stone and Parker are adamant that they had nothing to do with its inclusion on the disc.
The short is done in the style of a musical, but none of the actors can sing worth a crap -- nor, if we're being honest, can they act. The "plot" [if you can call it that] is threadbare at best. It jumps from one random scenario to another, often returning to previous segments to show that nothing has really progressed.
A heavyset teenage girl [think Jolene Purdy in Donnie Darko] sits on a bed in another kid's room singing to him all the reasons why no one likes him. Each reason is colorfully illustrated in a children's book, which the girl displays as she sings.
A man who looks a bit like Stephen Tobolowsky is sitting on the toilet in a tiny, cramped bathroom while his wife repeatedly sings questions to and asks favors of him through the door. He replies in monotone, halfheartedly adding "doo-dah" and the like to the end of his responses:
♪ Ohh hooo-neeey, ohh hooo-neey ♫
♪ Have you seeeen by haaaiiir-bruuuush? ♫
No, I haven't ♪ doo-dah ♫
I'll look for it later ♪ dee-dah ♫
I'm on the toilet ♪ doo-dah ♫
♪ Ohh hooo-neeey, ohh hooo-neey ♫
♪ The diiish-washer's acting up a-gaaaiiin ♫
I'll look at it this afternoon ♪ doo-dah ♫
I'm still in the bathroom ♪ dee-dah ♫
We'll probably have to call a repairman ♪ boo-bah ♫
It should still be under warranty ♪ hoo-hah ♫
Other segments include a middle-aged woman [Jennifer Coolidge?] trying to seduce a teenage boy who is very obviously repulsed by her, and a young Eastern European woman who is looking for something of hers and can't find it. This last example has no humor or progression to it whatsoever, making its inclusion in the short [and the fact that the film keeps "smash-cutting" back to her] all the more perplexing.
The hackers who made the discovery post instructions on how to find the hidden file, as it cannot be accessed during normal gameplay. A friend of mine happens to have a copy of the game, and we follow the hackers' guide to extract the data to his computer. We all gather around to watch the video and laugh riotously throughout. We spend the rest of the day quoting our favorite lines to each other.
P.S. I wanted to give this post a clever title, perhaps some play on the name of Trey Parker's directorial debut, Cannibal! The Musical. But my creative well is dipping dry this morning.
The short is done in the style of a musical, but none of the actors can sing worth a crap -- nor, if we're being honest, can they act. The "plot" [if you can call it that] is threadbare at best. It jumps from one random scenario to another, often returning to previous segments to show that nothing has really progressed.
A heavyset teenage girl [think Jolene Purdy in Donnie Darko] sits on a bed in another kid's room singing to him all the reasons why no one likes him. Each reason is colorfully illustrated in a children's book, which the girl displays as she sings.
A man who looks a bit like Stephen Tobolowsky is sitting on the toilet in a tiny, cramped bathroom while his wife repeatedly sings questions to and asks favors of him through the door. He replies in monotone, halfheartedly adding "doo-dah" and the like to the end of his responses:
♪ Ohh hooo-neeey, ohh hooo-neey ♫
♪ Have you seeeen by haaaiiir-bruuuush? ♫
No, I haven't ♪ doo-dah ♫
I'll look for it later ♪ dee-dah ♫
I'm on the toilet ♪ doo-dah ♫
♪ Ohh hooo-neeey, ohh hooo-neey ♫
♪ The diiish-washer's acting up a-gaaaiiin ♫
I'll look at it this afternoon ♪ doo-dah ♫
I'm still in the bathroom ♪ dee-dah ♫
We'll probably have to call a repairman ♪ boo-bah ♫
It should still be under warranty ♪ hoo-hah ♫
Other segments include a middle-aged woman [Jennifer Coolidge?] trying to seduce a teenage boy who is very obviously repulsed by her, and a young Eastern European woman who is looking for something of hers and can't find it. This last example has no humor or progression to it whatsoever, making its inclusion in the short [and the fact that the film keeps "smash-cutting" back to her] all the more perplexing.
The hackers who made the discovery post instructions on how to find the hidden file, as it cannot be accessed during normal gameplay. A friend of mine happens to have a copy of the game, and we follow the hackers' guide to extract the data to his computer. We all gather around to watch the video and laugh riotously throughout. We spend the rest of the day quoting our favorite lines to each other.
P.S. I wanted to give this post a clever title, perhaps some play on the name of Trey Parker's directorial debut, Cannibal! The Musical. But my creative well is dipping dry this morning.