The only stupid question...
All this time I had resolved myself to missing my Grandfather's funeral because I had to work all week. Normally I only work 2 or 3 days a week. But this week, the woman I work for is taking a business trip all week and I was scheduled to work at the house, taking care of Jack-man, all 5 days of the week. I didn't want to rock the boat by telling them about Grandpa.
But, yesterday, I got a call from
kiggity who had been talking to our dad. Dad really wanted her to go to California, but she was not sure if she could get the time off either. Dad wasn't accepting her answer of "no". My sister (and her 2 cats) is supposed to be staying at my Mom's house this week while Mom and Tom are vacationing in Pennsylvania.
When I talked to dad, he said that he doesn't understand why it's so important for the cats to be looked in on "You give them some water and food, and a litter pan and they are fine!" he said... Very frustrated. My thought process went something like this: You are pressuring Kailyn to join you in California because all of a sudden your (read: horrible) wife has to stay home with your geriatric dog, and you don't want to be all alone. I mean, I wanted to be there with him too... no one should be alone at a time like this. I then said, trying to keep the peace, that Mom and Kailyn had made these plans over a month ago. "No one plans when they die!" my dad spat at me.
I know he was not yelling at me. I know he has more things on his mind than my feelings right now. But, still and all, getting yelled at by my dad hurt my feelings. I know I'm 30 years old, and I take care of myself everyday, and I'm the one who says what I do is right or wrong... but I still got a little upset when he yelled at me.
My gut reaction to his reaction was that he is STILL upset about my mom and Tom being together. That he is jealous that Kailyn was taking care of Mom's house, when she used to be the one who would house sit for him. I put all of that aside and went past it.
I told Dad that Kailyn had talked me into calling Cindy, my boss, and explaining the situation to her. I wasn't sure what to expect. I mean, they were really understanding last summer when Poppa died and I had to go to California for the memorial service. But, on the other hand, Cindy is going to be out of state all week, and John (Jack's dad) has a bunch of really important cases to take to trial this week. So I didn't have my expectations up.
When Cindy finally got back to me, she said, "Of course you are going to the funeral!" She is recruiting the grandparents to help out Wednesday through Friday.
I got a flight out of Detroit at 8:18 in the morning, Wednesday, and I arrive in San Francisco at 12:30 in the afternoon. Since the viewing starts at ...something like, 4:30 in the afternoon, I'll get there with some time to spare. I have a lay over in Chicago until 10:10am, and then I am off to San Francisco.
Kailyn has been able to find someone to watch Mom's house in her stead (Tom's niece), and she is playing the "being an employee of the state" (read: someone WILL cover for her) card at work and just taking time off to go on this trip. So, Kailyn is going to leave Indianapolis at 9:00 in the morning on Wednesday, and will arrive in Chicago at 9:30. Her flight to San Francisco will also leave at 10:10, to arrive in San Francisco at 12:30.
The cool part? She and I are on the same flight from Chicago to San Francisco! Yay! I wonder if we will be able to sit together... When I spoke to her yesterday, and we discovered this about our trips, I told her "Well, I'll see you on Wednesday in Chicago!" Kind of silly that she lives in Indiana, I live in Michigan, and we have to go to Chicago to meet. But, I guess it's better than going all the way to California to connect with her.
And, Dad is happy. So, that is good.
One thing that is making me nervous is seeing all my relatives on that side of the family again after SO MANY YEARS!!!! I mean, I haven't seen these people in 10 years. My cousins were in grade school, or a baby, when we moved to Michigan. Today, my dad told me that my 3 boy cousins will be pallbearers. That BLOWS my MIND!!! When did they grow up? They are still 7 years old in my head...
I am the oldest cousin on that side of my family, so I never fit in really well. I never had a cousin close to my age to pair up with. Now, going back to see everyone this week, I'm kind of leery that I will not "fit in" even more. I envision myself chatting with the "adults", or keeping to myself. But, who am I to say... I might be pleasantly surprised. But, this is not a popularity contest. I'm going so that I can support my dad, and pay my respects to my Grandpa. Anything else is frosting on the cake.
But, yesterday, I got a call from
kiggity who had been talking to our dad. Dad really wanted her to go to California, but she was not sure if she could get the time off either. Dad wasn't accepting her answer of "no". My sister (and her 2 cats) is supposed to be staying at my Mom's house this week while Mom and Tom are vacationing in Pennsylvania.
When I talked to dad, he said that he doesn't understand why it's so important for the cats to be looked in on "You give them some water and food, and a litter pan and they are fine!" he said... Very frustrated. My thought process went something like this: You are pressuring Kailyn to join you in California because all of a sudden your (read: horrible) wife has to stay home with your geriatric dog, and you don't want to be all alone. I mean, I wanted to be there with him too... no one should be alone at a time like this. I then said, trying to keep the peace, that Mom and Kailyn had made these plans over a month ago. "No one plans when they die!" my dad spat at me.
I know he was not yelling at me. I know he has more things on his mind than my feelings right now. But, still and all, getting yelled at by my dad hurt my feelings. I know I'm 30 years old, and I take care of myself everyday, and I'm the one who says what I do is right or wrong... but I still got a little upset when he yelled at me.
My gut reaction to his reaction was that he is STILL upset about my mom and Tom being together. That he is jealous that Kailyn was taking care of Mom's house, when she used to be the one who would house sit for him. I put all of that aside and went past it.
I told Dad that Kailyn had talked me into calling Cindy, my boss, and explaining the situation to her. I wasn't sure what to expect. I mean, they were really understanding last summer when Poppa died and I had to go to California for the memorial service. But, on the other hand, Cindy is going to be out of state all week, and John (Jack's dad) has a bunch of really important cases to take to trial this week. So I didn't have my expectations up.
When Cindy finally got back to me, she said, "Of course you are going to the funeral!" She is recruiting the grandparents to help out Wednesday through Friday.
I got a flight out of Detroit at 8:18 in the morning, Wednesday, and I arrive in San Francisco at 12:30 in the afternoon. Since the viewing starts at ...something like, 4:30 in the afternoon, I'll get there with some time to spare. I have a lay over in Chicago until 10:10am, and then I am off to San Francisco.
Kailyn has been able to find someone to watch Mom's house in her stead (Tom's niece), and she is playing the "being an employee of the state" (read: someone WILL cover for her) card at work and just taking time off to go on this trip. So, Kailyn is going to leave Indianapolis at 9:00 in the morning on Wednesday, and will arrive in Chicago at 9:30. Her flight to San Francisco will also leave at 10:10, to arrive in San Francisco at 12:30.
The cool part? She and I are on the same flight from Chicago to San Francisco! Yay! I wonder if we will be able to sit together... When I spoke to her yesterday, and we discovered this about our trips, I told her "Well, I'll see you on Wednesday in Chicago!" Kind of silly that she lives in Indiana, I live in Michigan, and we have to go to Chicago to meet. But, I guess it's better than going all the way to California to connect with her.
And, Dad is happy. So, that is good.
One thing that is making me nervous is seeing all my relatives on that side of the family again after SO MANY YEARS!!!! I mean, I haven't seen these people in 10 years. My cousins were in grade school, or a baby, when we moved to Michigan. Today, my dad told me that my 3 boy cousins will be pallbearers. That BLOWS my MIND!!! When did they grow up? They are still 7 years old in my head...
I am the oldest cousin on that side of my family, so I never fit in really well. I never had a cousin close to my age to pair up with. Now, going back to see everyone this week, I'm kind of leery that I will not "fit in" even more. I envision myself chatting with the "adults", or keeping to myself. But, who am I to say... I might be pleasantly surprised. But, this is not a popularity contest. I'm going so that I can support my dad, and pay my respects to my Grandpa. Anything else is frosting on the cake.