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Apr 15, 2010 01:47




I painted tonight for the first time in what seems like forever. It felt really, really good to put my paintbrush on a canvas again. In a way, it's a big release for me. The painting looks like it has questionable splats on the left side, but it's just from the sealer that hadn't dried yet.

I'm pretty sure that I'm depressed. I mean, I guess I have been for a very long time, but I cover everything with stupid jokes. PMS, loneliness, and coming to terms with over two years of deception is seriously not helping this. It also didn't help to receive a notification being told I was removed from someone's FList. I don't know that you can do anything but take it personally when someone does that, especially through this site. I wasn't particularly close with this person, but it still stings in a way.

I've been reading a lot which I haven't done in a while, either. I hope I can keep my brain in books and studying for finals to distract me. I wish I could go disappear somewhere that feels like home for a while.
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