A College Freshman's Reflection
Ah, back at home again. I finally slept for more than 8 hours, and it was glorious.
I don't know if I want to fly out tomorrow; another two nights of wondrous slumber would be greatly appreciatd indeed.
I like the way that when we, college students, wish to express something profound, we feel the need to use gargantuan(sp) words and intricate phrases when it is entirely plausible that another method would suffice. Example given below:
When college students want to say something deep, we feel like we have to use big words and lots of commas, even when it's possible to do it another way. I like that.
However, I am caught up in my pleasure of manipulating words, and will therefore continue to use them all, not just the ones that are short and to the point.
Because, really, is life ever to the point?
No, it is not.
I have been beginning to see that what I thought in high school about maturity levels is extremely true. I used to feel alone, abandoned, and abnormal because of my perspective on situations. I did not understand how people could not look beyond the words of their fathers or the looks of their mothers, the rules of the school or the teachings of church. They truly could not see into their hearts, their minds, their very souls, and see what it was they were seeking, why they sought what they did, and from whence it could come. I learned to look and watch at a very early age, but it was not the world that was developing adn expanding around me that I studied. Instead it was myself, my reactions to situations, my likes, my dislikes, my fears, my joys, my idiosyncrasies, my irrationalities, and how each of these affected others with which I interacted. I saw that, in my view, there was not just one path of life that would lead to happiness, but instead there were many choices, and I chose the one that I seemed to agree with best. It was the one that molded to my thoughts, my values, and my ways, and I have, with a few modifications, stuck with it since.
Imagine my dismay as I began to realize that those I called my close friends, my peers, my equals, did not have as full of an understanding of the ways of the inner self as I did. They thought it odd that I would consider a situation as I did, horrifying that I would engage in the activities I chose, and confused that what made me happy isn't what made them happy.
Through this first year, I have seen many people grow and change and move away from what they clinged to in the world of their parents, their institutions, their factory-made world. Each had to make his own decisions, weigh her own costs, and follow through. I believe having to make the realizations that I had already made, for the most past, either ate my friends into a modified form of nonexistence or filled them to the point of bursting. They just haven't yet reahed equilibrium, haven't foudn which concentrations of things will muyltiply and divide correctly to offer the constant that they seek.
Thank you to those that this year have told me that they now see what I was, where I was coming from, how I looked upon the world. I am glad that you see what I saw, and can now respect it. Everyone can learn from every experience that they have encountered; all they have to do is realize the value contained therein.
A lesson I have learned is that you can care for someone with all of your mind and all of your body; I have also learned that those things cannot sway one who will not be swayed. There is a season and a time for everything. It may be that this season has faded into another, or it may be that the time for ripeness has not yet occured. That which was alive in the spring of things has died, as all things do, at year's end in the winter, where things go for either permanent death or renewal. I wonder whether these things of which I speak will show to be merely annual, a thing whose roots have not sunk in and will wither away, or if they are perinneal(sp), a thing that reappears, year after year, when the season is right and the conditions are fair.
I fly to Australia tomorrow.
Everyone, enjoy your May.
I don't know if I want to fly out tomorrow; another two nights of wondrous slumber would be greatly appreciatd indeed.
I like the way that when we, college students, wish to express something profound, we feel the need to use gargantuan(sp) words and intricate phrases when it is entirely plausible that another method would suffice. Example given below:
When college students want to say something deep, we feel like we have to use big words and lots of commas, even when it's possible to do it another way. I like that.
However, I am caught up in my pleasure of manipulating words, and will therefore continue to use them all, not just the ones that are short and to the point.
Because, really, is life ever to the point?
No, it is not.
I have been beginning to see that what I thought in high school about maturity levels is extremely true. I used to feel alone, abandoned, and abnormal because of my perspective on situations. I did not understand how people could not look beyond the words of their fathers or the looks of their mothers, the rules of the school or the teachings of church. They truly could not see into their hearts, their minds, their very souls, and see what it was they were seeking, why they sought what they did, and from whence it could come. I learned to look and watch at a very early age, but it was not the world that was developing adn expanding around me that I studied. Instead it was myself, my reactions to situations, my likes, my dislikes, my fears, my joys, my idiosyncrasies, my irrationalities, and how each of these affected others with which I interacted. I saw that, in my view, there was not just one path of life that would lead to happiness, but instead there were many choices, and I chose the one that I seemed to agree with best. It was the one that molded to my thoughts, my values, and my ways, and I have, with a few modifications, stuck with it since.
Imagine my dismay as I began to realize that those I called my close friends, my peers, my equals, did not have as full of an understanding of the ways of the inner self as I did. They thought it odd that I would consider a situation as I did, horrifying that I would engage in the activities I chose, and confused that what made me happy isn't what made them happy.
Through this first year, I have seen many people grow and change and move away from what they clinged to in the world of their parents, their institutions, their factory-made world. Each had to make his own decisions, weigh her own costs, and follow through. I believe having to make the realizations that I had already made, for the most past, either ate my friends into a modified form of nonexistence or filled them to the point of bursting. They just haven't yet reahed equilibrium, haven't foudn which concentrations of things will muyltiply and divide correctly to offer the constant that they seek.
Thank you to those that this year have told me that they now see what I was, where I was coming from, how I looked upon the world. I am glad that you see what I saw, and can now respect it. Everyone can learn from every experience that they have encountered; all they have to do is realize the value contained therein.
A lesson I have learned is that you can care for someone with all of your mind and all of your body; I have also learned that those things cannot sway one who will not be swayed. There is a season and a time for everything. It may be that this season has faded into another, or it may be that the time for ripeness has not yet occured. That which was alive in the spring of things has died, as all things do, at year's end in the winter, where things go for either permanent death or renewal. I wonder whether these things of which I speak will show to be merely annual, a thing whose roots have not sunk in and will wither away, or if they are perinneal(sp), a thing that reappears, year after year, when the season is right and the conditions are fair.
I fly to Australia tomorrow.
Everyone, enjoy your May.