hmmmmm
soooo here we go. another crazy semester that leaves me extremely stress, cranky and tired. so let's see I am the social chair for Sigma Alpha Iota YAY, a director of Pitch Perfect YAY, and I have the biggest most important thing in my life at the end of the semester which I must start preparing myself now for, that is my sophomore promotional, which is where I prepare 8 pieces which I must memorize and know everything about each of the 8 pieces. I must everything about the music, as in when it modulates what key it changes to, how the accompaniment relates to what I am singing about in the song, why the composer wrote the song blah blah blah, may I also say that all of my 8 pieces are extremely hard and ONLY 1 is in English, thank you Dr. Swanson. I am only complaining about the one english because in the music department if you are better at your instrument you luckily get harder/challenging music, which I am actually happy about because in the end it is a compliment. anyway so yeah that is my life as of now, so if i have not really been talking to anyone i am sorry I will try my hardest to communicate, and not hide myself in my music. on the bright side I have a wonderful musician who is my boyfriend to help me out. he is so wonderful and smart at music and ahhh he just a man not a boy a man, thank god for that. he couldn't make me happier. ughhh and then their is my family, something is wrong with my dad, he won't talk to me about it. he won't talk to me, I haven't talked to him in awhile and neither has my brother. that worries me because he calls my brother everyday. i don't i just don't think i could handle if anything would happen to him or anyone in my life. it's just too much too fucking much. i just don't understand why god would allow people to take their own life because they didn't want to be here but the he would take the lives of two beautiful people who wanted to be here more than ever, they wanted to be on this earth together. i just don't understand and honestly i haven't really been able to focus in school because that thought keeps going in my head, because i do not understand. but i guess i never will.