fuck..
fuck, fucking shit, ughhh cunt. i don't know what to say. how do you deal watching someone you love die. well you cry and think or whatever. honestly i have never been through this and truthfully i was not close to him when i was younger, it was only the last few years that i started to talk to him and what not. and he always talks about how proud he is of me and everything i have done. and then i sit there with my mother tonight as she tells my brothers and i that his body is done and there is nothing they can do. and then she goes on to tell us that he is not releasing any fluids and she could tell he was crying but not tears were coming out and then he tells her to wipe his nose but there is nothing there. god i don't even know what to think. my mother is the strongest person in the world, and those who know her know that, and when she breaks down you know it's bad. i can't even image what she is going through, and i really think she doesn't know what to do with herself. ugh i just really didn't think it would hit me like this and i don't know what to do.