thinking
as i continue to have a very connecting with myself break, i continue to think. my grandfather just moved into my house this week, because his body has giving up on him. 75 % use of his lungs are gone, he can't walk to the bathroom or even just lay in bed without being completely out of breath. and then there is my grandmother who lived with us for a year or so and her body was ready to go but he mind was gone, not completely but mostly gone and now she just lays in bed and sleeps. she also makes up the craziest stories and she just can't help it i guess it is apart of her disease. so with all of this going on in my life, it has had me back to the idea i started with, thinking. thinking about when i am older and begin my trail of death what would i rather have happen to me, my mind go or my body, or just at the same time. it just hurts to watch people that you use to know but now are going through so much pain or just do not know what is going on anymore. in the end i keep saying that i'm thinking and thinking about this, but truly i don't really know what to think. and with this i can only imagine what my mother is thinking about.