A Visit- RP for goddess_of_moon

[redhead_archer]

I took the stairs two by two and was eternally grateful that Lian had removed all the leggos, crayons and socks that had previously littered the steps. I ran a hand over my head and hoped that I had dressed okay: hunter green tee shirt and black jeans. When Donna had said she was coming over she hadn’t alluded that this was going to be dressy.

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[goddess_of_moon]

The centre cannot hold.

It's sort of the way I'm feeling at the moment. The universe (scratch that, multiverse), isn't holding and I'm the one stuck in the center of it all. What's worse is that it's because I'm not supposed to be here. I'm an anomoly. No one can seem to explain how I should exist, and yet when Wally's memories brought "me" back, I couldn't even explain to myself why I existed, either. Jason and Kyle certainly aren't helping things, and I need time to think. Time to figure out, once again, just who exactly is Donna Troy? And I know where I need to start.

At the beginning. I've already talked to Wally and Dick, and so when I started talking briefly to Roy and things began to fall into place, I needed to know for sure -- I needed to make sure that I wasn't using him again. I don't think that's what's happening. After all, one of the reasons Roy joined the Teen Titans way back was because we were dating.

Stop over-thinking all of this. I knocked at his door, smoothing out my black blouse and looking down at my jeans. Grinning, I heard Lian's voice inside and wanted to scoop her up into my arms. "Roy?" I called out. "Lian? It's me. Donna."

I held my breath, but my smile stayed on my face.

OOC: It's great!

[redhead_archer]

I heard a solid knock on the door and a sigh caught in my throat. A familiar voice called out from the door and Lian's face broke into a smile.

Princess grabbed my hand and hauled to the door. "Daddy, she's here! Let's go!"

"Okay!" I re-situated our hands and manuevered Lian slightly behind me. I looked her over. Jeans and a Teen Titans tee shirt. Should be good enough. I did not fail to notice that she had new barrettes in her hair. I took a deep breath.

Suddenly, I was excited. I let the feeling power my hand and I opened the door. Donna was standing there on my porch, looking beautiful in a black top. Like always.

I felt Lian pinch the back of my leg. "Hi. You look great."

Before I could say "C'mon in," Lian darted from behind me and went straight for Donna.

"Donna!" my little girl yelled as she moved fast with open arms...

[goddess_of_moon]

"Hey there," I said as I bent down and scooped Lian into my arms for a hug. "Oh, your Aunt Donna has missed you." I brushed some of her hair back and was amazed at how much older she looked. Strangely, she looked more like Roy, too... "Oomph, and you're heavier, too," I teased before setting her back down on the floor, grinning at her shirt.

Wonder who picked it out...

"Roy." I shook my head a little, looking at him and finally saying the first thing that came to mind. "You look good with the shorter hair." Walking forward, I pulled him into a tight hug, too, but I didn't want to let go. It was familiar, warm, and welcome.

"I have missed you so much," I whispered into his ear, not really wanting to let go.

[redhead_archer]

"Missed you too," I breathed into her hair. She smelled great and I would have held on too, had it not been for the small pair of gazing eyes. I reluctantly let go and grinned. I grabbed Donna's hand and led her inside, closing the door behind me.

"I cut all the hair off right before the Outsiders, well Dick and I's Outsiders," I said picking my words carefully. "I'm glad you liked it. You look amazing yourself."

We walked into the living room, Lian squeezing in between Donna and I as we did.

"Pardon us if anything seems... messy. Lian kind of recently tried to redecorate with some paint."

"That was an accident and Uncle Connor helped too," Lian quickly defended.

"Right," I muttered. "You want to sit down? Want anything to drink?"

[goddess_of_moon]

"Thanks," I replied as I took my first good look around his place. It was as clean as could be expected with a child running around, so that was saying something about his parenting skills. Why did I ever doubt him?

"The place looks great," I told him, before turning to Lian. "And I'm very glad to know it was just an accident."

I sat down on the couch, nodding. "Some water, actually? If you don't mind." I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper. Unfolding it, I handed it to Lian. "I wish I could give you more, but I know you must miss the old Tower with everyone there to babysit you. So, I found this picture of all of us there." Looking quickly up to Roy, I felt like I had to defend the gift. "I just wasn't sure if you had one already..."

[redhead_archer]

"Thanks," I said as Donna's eyes looked over the living room. It felt like a big compliment coming from her. Things were going okay so far. Donna seemed relaxed, Lian seemed happy and he hadn't screwed anything up.

I watched as Lian joined Donna on the couch. "Water? Consider it done. Princess, do you want anything?"

"Juice. Grape Juice," Lian answered efficiently.

"It's cool. My pictures are in storage. I've been meaning to rectify that..." I darted into the kitchen. The truth was the pictures had been too painful, especially after the Titans had fractured and so had the Outsiders. I really had been meaning to dig the photos up. Hadn't gotten around to it.

I tried not to think about it anymore and just grabbed a glass out of the cubbards. Minutes later I returned to the living room. "Juice for you. Water for you," I said setting it down in front of the appropriate ladies.

I sat down next to Lian and looked at the picture over her shoulder. "Those were good times..."

[goddess_of_moon]

"Thanks," I said as I sipped the water gratefully, then grinned at Roy as we looked at the picture with Lian. It was almost domestic, the way all three of us looked, it seemed.

"They were some of the best," I added, before pulling out another gift from my pocket and handing it to Roy. "I'm not as up on all of my Navajo as I should be. Hera knows that with everything going on lately, it's hard enough to keep everything straight with my Sisters, but I saw this and wanted to give it to you." It was a turquose beaded necklace that an elderly Navajo woman had gifted me with when I had stopped by before coming to visit Roy. I wasn't sure what had made me stop there first, or what had made me feel the need to give him a gift, or even if there was any special meaning to the necklace...

"I just thought it was nice," I finished, grinning and blushing all at once. What was wrong with me acting so schoolgirl-like around him?

[redhead_archer]

I took the necklace gingerly and grinned as my eyes darted from Donna to the jewelry. "Thanks," I breathed. "I love it."I squeezed her hand. It reminded me of the tattoo I had on my arm and I wondered if Donna had thought of that. Out of the corner of my eye I caught color spreading across Donna's face. Was she blushing. I grinned wider.

"Lemme see," Lian said as she peered into my hands. I placed the necklace into her hands and held it up to her neck.

"See Etai Yazi." I winked at her and she smiled.

A thought dawned and frowning, I looked at Donna. "I'm... I'm sorry I don't have anything for you. I mean... unless you count dinner."

[goddess_of_moon]

The necklace held firmly within Lian's hands made me smile even more. I suddenly found myself wanting to hug her again, to brush aside any fears or worries she might have all over again.

I nodded at him. "Dinner was sort of the reason I came over here, right?" I stood up and walked into the kitchen.

"So? Show me what I need to do to help out. Are we having salads tonight? You may not be as bad as Connor, but Lian needs her vegetables," I replied, poking around in his fridge.

[redhead_archer]

I heard the television click on as Donna and I headed into the kitchen. Lian had found a way to be occupied; her job was to set the table and she couldn't do that until dinner was ready.

I stalked by the refrigerator. "Yeah, it's salads. I've got broccoli but I don't feel like telling Lian a billion times it's okay to eat the miniature trees. She's convinced we're going to leave all the squirrels homeless. It drives Connor nuts."

I brought all the veggies from the crisper: romaine, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, and carrots.

"You can be in charge of the salads, if that's okay. I was thinking spaghetti would be nice. But, I could do burgers too. Dinah gave me a George Foreman grill for Christmas last year and it saves a bunch of time--"

"You can suck my --" blasted from the tv in the living room.

"Lian Harper, turn that channel!" I yelled. A couple of seconds later I heard the familiar voices of Billy and Mandy and I sighed. "Still glad you came?"

[goddess_of_moon]

I rolled my eyes at Roy melodramatically. "Yes, I'm sure that the reason Connor is going to go nuts is because of your daughter and not you," I teased back, finding a knife and starting to work on chopping the carrots up.

"Spaghetti sounds great. Or burgers. This is your home, not mine, so don't go out of the way to do anything you wouldn't normally do just because I'm here."

As the TV changed channels, I started laughing, nodding. "Of course I'm glad I came." I tossed a sliced carrot at him, then popped one into my mouth. "The better question is are you glad I came? I wouldn't want to be an inconvenience..."

Sighing, I looked away. "I missed this. You. Lian. Feeling like I belong somewhere and that I'm actually wanted." Looking back up, I met his eyes. "Do you get that feeling still?"

[redhead_archer]

"Lian can be a handful when she wants to..." I said shaking my head. "Spaghetti it is then." I grabbed some meat from the fridge and dragged out the skillet from the cabinet.

"Of course I'm glad you came," I answered whole heartedly as I dodged the carrot slice. "Why wouldn't I? My door is always open to you Donna. You should know that." I looked at her over my shoulder as I grabbed some spices from the spice rack on the wall. That was Connor striking once again. "You're really rattled."

She looked away and I knew I was right. Something was eating her up inside. I walked around to and laid my hands on her shoulders. "That feeling about us? About my life in general?" I licked my lips. "Yeah, I get that feeling. For a while, I didn't think you did though...I wanted you here, for a long time. If this is where you want to be, then there's always room Donna."

[goddess_of_moon]

"Lian is always a handful, Roy. It doesn't make her any less wonderful."

I grabbed the lettuce and walked over to the sink, turning the water on and rinsing the leaves out. "I'm not rattled," I protested, shaking them dry and flinging a few droplets of water from my fingers back at him playfully. As I brought them back to cut up, though, his hands on my shoulders... Hera, I felt myself slump against him simply because he was there and touching me. It wasn't anything sexual, but more of the physical contact of him. The warmth. I tried to let all my stress disappear and sink into the familiar feeling of Roy again.

"It's where I should have been, but for the right reasons," I admitted. "Back then, I was wrong. I used you, I even used Lian, to fill the gap and confusion in my life. But what was worse was when I walked away from it all." I moved into his arms, hugging him tightly. "I want to be here, but I had to make sure I wasn't being selfish this time around."

[redhead_archer]

"I guess that runs in the family," I smirked slightly.

I watched Donna walk to the sink. She stood straight, the same kinda straight when she was ready to go into battle. I licked my lips and tilted my head slightly. "Coulda fooled me." I shrugged. "Maybe that's the wrong word, but it seems like something's been clawing at you, making you doubt alot of things."

She slumped against me and I sighed. "I get that whole Amazon Princess thing, but you don't have to be strong all the time. And definitely not in front of me and Lian." I tucked her head under my chin.

"I can't lie and say that it didn't hurt when you walked away. But, that's in the past. I don't think you're being selfish."

[goddess_of_moon]

"It's not the wrong word," I finally said, giving in and partly giving up. "I just want so badly for everything else to disappear right now. I want to forget this mission, and Kyle, and Jason, and... Bob, and I want to just go back to being Donna. The Donna that everyone knew. The Donna that you knew."

He felt so warm and safe and I tried not to cry. After all, I'd been the leader of the Titans before, I had been Wonder Woman, I'd even been a goddess. A woman like that shouldn't cry, and yet, I finally did. I hung onto Roy, sniffling a little. "Okay. Here I am, not being strong."

I took a deep breath to calm myself, though, so I could get out my next words. "I'm sorry, Roy. I'm so very sorry." Pulling back slightly, I put on my best grin. "Let me make it up to you. Unless, of course, you have some other beautiful woman stashed away in the next room," I winked.

[redhead_archer]

"Wait. Whose Bob?" I asked confused. I shook my head. That really didn't matter. At least I think it didn't. "You be whoever it is you need to be right now. Because no matter what Donna that is, she's strong and beautiful and capable. I doubt you'd be on the missions if you couldn't deal with Kyle, Jason and... Bob. Besides, if you're not Donna then who are you?"

I felt Donna's arms encircle me tighter and I kissed the top of her head. I heard her trying to be strong in the form of sighs and small sniffles. I pressed my lips to her ear. "It's gonna be fine." She was warm and smelled amazing. It felt right, having her this close.

I felt her move away slightly and for a moment I thought I had done something wrong. Until I saw her eyes. They were shining. "Not unless you count Lian," I answered motioning towards the living room. I licked my lips. "What do you have in mind?"