(no subject)
while this is a little old, it still stands as one of the best email exchanges ever. christian rules, and this email is a prime example of why. so absurd:
>christian,
>
>i did some research today, in regards to the root beer situation, and felt the need to report two things:
>
>1. i feel as though, unless you want to spring for a power carbonator, with a bunch of small co2 cartridges, we're going to have to deal with a small degree of alcoholic content in the root beer. its less than one percent though, which i'm assuming is far less than even something like vanilla extract would have, so i don't know if it will be too much of a problem. i cite Leener's Brew Works:
>
>Natural carbonation will take about two weeks and you don't need to be concerned about your soft drinks containing alcohol as a result of using brewer's yeast. Each bottle will contain less than the amount found in fresh squeezed orange juice.
>
>2. sasparilla is a known carcinogen, and its use has been banned by the FDA. it is possible, however, to find sassafras extract without the Safrole, which is the cancer-causing element, so i feel as though we could use the extract for that, and then get a bunch of other roots to add to it. i mean, i'm down for digging up some sassafras roots, but apparently safrole is a stronger carcinogen than tobacco, so it might not be the best idea.
>
>3. this isn't really important for this specific email, but notice the amazingly old school-ness of this recipe:
>
>"Use strong bottles with patent stoppers or tie corks in securely. Use a stone crock or granite vessell in which to let drinks stand while `working.' Fresh roots from the woods are always preferable to dried herbs. Select a cool place in which to store the drinks; the longer they stand in a warm place after bottling, the more effervescent they will become! When filling bottles, fill to within an inch of the top.
>
>1 cake compressed yeast
>5 pounds sugar
>2 ounces Sassafras root
>2 ounces Juniper Berries
>1 ounce Hops or Ginger Root
>1 ounce Dandelion root
>2 ounces Wintergreen
>4 gallons water
>
>Wash roots well in cold water. Add juniper berries (crushed) and hops. Pour 8 quarts boiling water over root mixture and boil slowly 20 minutes. Strain through flannel bag. Add sugar and remaining 8 quarts water. Allow to stand until lukewarm. Dissolve yeast in a little cool water. Add to root liquid. Stir will. Let settle then strain again and bottle. Cork tightly. Keep in a warm room 5 to 6 hours, then store in a cool place. Put on ice as required for use." The Fleishman Company, Excellent Recipes for Baking Raised Bread, 1912
>
>1912! old fucking school!
>
>that is all in regards to root beer. i am still debating on the show tomorrow, as i may end up going back to dc to see some friends and see mr lif play. i'll give you a call or email or something at some point though tomorrow and let you know whats up.
>
>for the diy root beer revolution,
>nate
Nate,
A fine email. As exhaustively researched as one could hope. You've done good work here. These are some serious considerations, and merit earnest deliberation. We need to sit down over a bottle of corporate, non-DIY, evil-in-nature, lesser root beer and suss out these details, hopefully in dialogue with such other members of the Home-Brew-Root-Beer-Uprising (HBRBU, pronounced "hub-ur-boo"--for I have so named our movement) as are straightedge, so as to get an idea of the acceptability of probable alcoholic content, what amounts we're talking about, etc. For the metahuman revolutionary specimen of whose elite services we must, in our world-historic subversion of hegemonic corporate power structures, avail ourselves must needs remain pure, his/her vision unmolested by the impairments of corporate swill. True till death.
Let's remain "in communicado", using other such radio and otherwise wireless jargon as suits our purposes, such as "over" and "10-4." I'll keep my ears to the ground and my eyes alertly peeled for a reply concerning what meeting time and secret meeting location best suits you. The show tomorrow would be a good opportunity, serving as a pretext for further discussion of these desiderata. It would lend us much needed plausible deniability in the event that one or both of us are captured and interrogated.
In the interest of maintaining secrecy and minimizing collateral intelligence breaches, I'll proceed directly to blogger after dispatching this email and post it so that our friends can envy us.
For the revolution,
over,
c-root
>christian,
>
>i did some research today, in regards to the root beer situation, and felt the need to report two things:
>
>1. i feel as though, unless you want to spring for a power carbonator, with a bunch of small co2 cartridges, we're going to have to deal with a small degree of alcoholic content in the root beer. its less than one percent though, which i'm assuming is far less than even something like vanilla extract would have, so i don't know if it will be too much of a problem. i cite Leener's Brew Works:
>
>Natural carbonation will take about two weeks and you don't need to be concerned about your soft drinks containing alcohol as a result of using brewer's yeast. Each bottle will contain less than the amount found in fresh squeezed orange juice.
>
>2. sasparilla is a known carcinogen, and its use has been banned by the FDA. it is possible, however, to find sassafras extract without the Safrole, which is the cancer-causing element, so i feel as though we could use the extract for that, and then get a bunch of other roots to add to it. i mean, i'm down for digging up some sassafras roots, but apparently safrole is a stronger carcinogen than tobacco, so it might not be the best idea.
>
>3. this isn't really important for this specific email, but notice the amazingly old school-ness of this recipe:
>
>"Use strong bottles with patent stoppers or tie corks in securely. Use a stone crock or granite vessell in which to let drinks stand while `working.' Fresh roots from the woods are always preferable to dried herbs. Select a cool place in which to store the drinks; the longer they stand in a warm place after bottling, the more effervescent they will become! When filling bottles, fill to within an inch of the top.
>
>1 cake compressed yeast
>5 pounds sugar
>2 ounces Sassafras root
>2 ounces Juniper Berries
>1 ounce Hops or Ginger Root
>1 ounce Dandelion root
>2 ounces Wintergreen
>4 gallons water
>
>Wash roots well in cold water. Add juniper berries (crushed) and hops. Pour 8 quarts boiling water over root mixture and boil slowly 20 minutes. Strain through flannel bag. Add sugar and remaining 8 quarts water. Allow to stand until lukewarm. Dissolve yeast in a little cool water. Add to root liquid. Stir will. Let settle then strain again and bottle. Cork tightly. Keep in a warm room 5 to 6 hours, then store in a cool place. Put on ice as required for use." The Fleishman Company, Excellent Recipes for Baking Raised Bread, 1912
>
>1912! old fucking school!
>
>that is all in regards to root beer. i am still debating on the show tomorrow, as i may end up going back to dc to see some friends and see mr lif play. i'll give you a call or email or something at some point though tomorrow and let you know whats up.
>
>for the diy root beer revolution,
>nate
Nate,
A fine email. As exhaustively researched as one could hope. You've done good work here. These are some serious considerations, and merit earnest deliberation. We need to sit down over a bottle of corporate, non-DIY, evil-in-nature, lesser root beer and suss out these details, hopefully in dialogue with such other members of the Home-Brew-Root-Beer-Uprising (HBRBU, pronounced "hub-ur-boo"--for I have so named our movement) as are straightedge, so as to get an idea of the acceptability of probable alcoholic content, what amounts we're talking about, etc. For the metahuman revolutionary specimen of whose elite services we must, in our world-historic subversion of hegemonic corporate power structures, avail ourselves must needs remain pure, his/her vision unmolested by the impairments of corporate swill. True till death.
Let's remain "in communicado", using other such radio and otherwise wireless jargon as suits our purposes, such as "over" and "10-4." I'll keep my ears to the ground and my eyes alertly peeled for a reply concerning what meeting time and secret meeting location best suits you. The show tomorrow would be a good opportunity, serving as a pretext for further discussion of these desiderata. It would lend us much needed plausible deniability in the event that one or both of us are captured and interrogated.
In the interest of maintaining secrecy and minimizing collateral intelligence breaches, I'll proceed directly to blogger after dispatching this email and post it so that our friends can envy us.
For the revolution,
over,
c-root