Confessions

[redgrrl]

My family and friends have all been very sympathetic about Lola, and I expressed gratitude at all the appropriate places, but what I really felt was anger. I just want my damn dog back, ya know

Comments

[lyssandri]

I understand about the doubts, too, but from what you've described, it sounds like you did make the best choice for her. Pancreatitis can be very serious - in humans as well as dogs. Seven or 8 years ago, Matt's mom had developed it after going into the hospital for an outpatient test and, while it took a lot longer for her to get the point Lola did, Matt, his brother and their father eventually had to take her off life support because it was clear she would never recover. From what you've written, It sounds to me like Lola was letting you know that she was ready to move on, but wanted to be at home for a while first, and I'm glad you had that last bit of time together.

And when you do find yourself feeling those doubts, remember that what you did, you did because of how very much you love Lola. You did everything for her that you could, and when she let you know that she wanted to come home and be with you before she had to leave, you heard her. It may not seem like it at the moment, but it truly was a gift.

Its going to hurt for a while, but don't let yourself feel guilty. You didn't do anything wrong. You just loved her too much to see her in pain - and that's nothing you ever have to apologize for.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[redgrrl]

Thanks again -- now stop making me cry! :)

I forgot that that was what Matt's mom died of. The pancreas is such a mysteriously important organ!