[It's after an exhausting day and dinner that Robert and Jacques turn in to their room. Thankfully his family had money; it wasn't the usual child's bed of a race car but something on the side of a queen that they could both share. He sits down on the bed, pulling off his shoes and tossing them into the corner.
He's tired, bone weary. Conversations of the past, memories, talk of college... Jacques unbuttons his shirt, tossing it aside carelessly, and then off goes his pants. It's the normal going to bed ritual, put in slow motion from his lack of general enthusiasm.]
[Robert feels much the same, with the added constant twinge of anxiety of being around Jacques' father. The man is intimidating, he's been getting the constant impression that he couldn't give two hoots about his presence, and barely one about Jacques'. He sneaks a glance at Jacques as he slides into bed, wearing singlet and shorts... god, they've become just like adults. Weary and drained... it's wrong, they're young, they're meant to be having the time of their lives.]
[Jacques gives Robert a sidelong glance, smiling faintly as he swings his legs over and slides into bed.]
Zhis day never seems to end, does it? [He scoots over close; Robert is terribly warm under the sheets, and mostly naked Jacques is wrapping arm and leg around him.]
[Robert wraps himself right back... god, but he's been wanting to do this all day, to hold Jacques close somewhere warm and private that isn't a car anybody could look into. The door is shut, they're on their own and he tangles them together- arms, legs, the works.]
The rest won't be like this. First day's always the hardest, I bet.
[Goddamn, he can just about feel Jacques tense. And there's not much he can say either, because it's true. It is hard. Jacques is stressed, he feels lost... he puts his fingers to Jacques' hair, like he did in the car, and murmurs]
We'll get through it, though.
[He wants to open his mouth to say 'no matter what' but it just won't come out. 'What' could be anything, 'what' could be enormous. 'What' could be Jacques' father giving him more ultimatums, could be his getting a scholarship and Jacques staying in France...]
[Robert makes a choking sound, as he squeezes his eyes shut and presses forward quickly for that kiss. It's not nice and romantic, it has a horrible tinge of desperation to it and when he breaks it off, leaving their noses touching he has to keep his eyes closed to calm himself for a moment. He can't let himself sink down into that sadness, he can't. Not when Jacques is the one that's struggling, not now when it's just them.]
We will...
[He says it a little shakily, but firm all the same.]
[Jacques' heart clenches. They can't, they can't break up. He reaches up, to cup his face and stroke his cheeks with his thumbs.]
We're not. Oui, you're right. [A sudden burst of courage has struck him; he won't leave, he won't stop this for something as silly as college or fathers.
He rubs a hand against his chest, looking hopeful, pressing another kiss to his lips, soft and tentative.]
[He wants to cringe when he sees that expression on Jacques' face... he hasn't seen it in so long, did his words really affect him that much? Is it really that easy to believe? Maybe he can believe it too. He kisses with his mouth closed, enjoying just nuzzling, closeness. It's a simple pleasure that just feels the best right now, feeling safe, surrounded by all the childish things that Jacques loved, the things that had made him him.]
[Jacques murmurs quietly against his lips, and he gently tugs Robert closer; it's his sign that he's used before, that he wants him closer, preferably on top of him. Robert's a bit shorter, but he likes the feeling of him settled over his body. It's safe, it's warm and familiar, it's a perfect position to squirm, though that's not what he's thinking about right now.]
[This is nice. It's relaxing after a hard day, it's comforting and easy, and he happily eases himself over Jacques' body. He's thin, but he's always liked that he's sturdy enough to fit underneath his stockier frame. He combs Jacques' hair away from his forehead, enjoying the opportunity to be tender and all the sensations, warmth, hairs on their legs brushing, the slight creak of the bed beneath them, the smell of his room]
[Jacques spreads his legs to accommodate Robert between them, humming pleasantly. It feels better than good, it's comforting and familiar and-
He wouldn't give it up for anything. That's the best part, it feels so good, he wouldn't want to give it up. And he won't. It's going to become a mantra in his mind.
He nuzzles in against him, sighing quietly. His hands slide down his side, then back up, his wifebeater hitching up under his hands.]
[He asks softly, with a quiet smile on his face, letting his head drop into the crook of Jacques' shoulder. The thing about being on top is that your head soon feels heavy, and he likes it like this too, feeling cozy and pliant.]
[He mimics with a small smile, and that's all he's doing. When he's happy he's touchy and much more giving than usual. Robert's been taking care of him all day, and so he rubs his fingers nice and slow up his side, his thumbs rubbing circles as his hands slid up.]
[Mmm, it's like a massage, he feels all the tension slowly draining from his body as he closes his eyes and focuses on the pleasure Jacques is rubbing from his skin. He could go to sleep like this, really, and he hums in the back of his throat]
He's tired, bone weary. Conversations of the past, memories, talk of college... Jacques unbuttons his shirt, tossing it aside carelessly, and then off goes his pants. It's the normal going to bed ritual, put in slow motion from his lack of general enthusiasm.]
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He sneaks a glance at Jacques as he slides into bed, wearing singlet and shorts... god, they've become just like adults. Weary and drained... it's wrong, they're young, they're meant to be having the time of their lives.]
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Zhis day never seems to end, does it? [He scoots over close; Robert is terribly warm under the sheets, and mostly naked Jacques is wrapping arm and leg around him.]
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The rest won't be like this. First day's always the hardest, I bet.
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Non, it's still going to be hard.
[The thought of how he'll be able to deal with this, without Robert- his stomach knots up, and he presses closer.]
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We'll get through it, though.
[He wants to open his mouth to say 'no matter what' but it just won't come out. 'What' could be anything, 'what' could be enormous. 'What' could be Jacques' father giving him more ultimatums, could be his getting a scholarship and Jacques staying in France...]
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Will we?
[It's barely a murmur, and he leans in shakily for a kiss.] -Please say zhat we will. [Maybe he'll believe it, then.]
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He can't let himself sink down into that sadness, he can't. Not when Jacques is the one that's struggling, not now when it's just them.]
We will...
[He says it a little shakily, but firm all the same.]
We will. It's alright.
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We're not. Oui, you're right. [A sudden burst of courage has struck him; he won't leave, he won't stop this for something as silly as college or fathers.
He rubs a hand against his chest, looking hopeful, pressing another kiss to his lips, soft and tentative.]
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Maybe he can believe it too.
He kisses with his mouth closed, enjoying just nuzzling, closeness. It's a simple pleasure that just feels the best right now, feeling safe, surrounded by all the childish things that Jacques loved, the things that had made him him.]
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He wouldn't give it up for anything. That's the best part, it feels so good, he wouldn't want to give it up. And he won't. It's going to become a mantra in his mind.
He nuzzles in against him, sighing quietly. His hands slide down his side, then back up, his wifebeater hitching up under his hands.]
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[He asks softly, with a quiet smile on his face, letting his head drop into the crook of Jacques' shoulder. The thing about being on top is that your head soon feels heavy, and he likes it like this too, feeling cozy and pliant.]
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[He mimics with a small smile, and that's all he's doing. When he's happy he's touchy and much more giving than usual. Robert's been taking care of him all day, and so he rubs his fingers nice and slow up his side, his thumbs rubbing circles as his hands slid up.]
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[Mmm, it's like a massage, he feels all the tension slowly draining from his body as he closes his eyes and focuses on the pleasure Jacques is rubbing from his skin. He could go to sleep like this, really, and he hums in the back of his throat]
C'est bon.
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