No Taylor. You are the one that still goes LALALA I'm not listening. Perhaps I don't listen because its incredibly boring. Perhaps you don't listen to me because it's habit around here to brush Meg's info off. Maybe you should learn how to talk & listen at the same time. More ideas get flowing. I don't look at coversing as a school debate where one person gets their turn and then the next. It is a free flow. And I am certainly allowed to write whatever I damn well please. That is what LiveJournals point is- to get it out at that second. And you are fake. 99% of the people that do the OMG! I love you so much! I am SOOOOOOOOOO glad your here! Big huge hug! Are totally putting on a show. And even if they do mean it, every once in awhile, it's usually covering up some other hurt that they're not letting on. Its a way to be close without actually being close. Cell phones/nextel addicts are doing the same thing. They appear totally connected but they're really not there at all. And no I don't know you or your friends, but I can see right through people. My assumptions, that aren't based on a one time gander, usually turn out pretty right. I do need to work past not liking people completely, because there might be soem good things. Yeah you guys are all nice and hunky dorry, but each one of you has major insecurities, hangups, and basically a gazillion limits imposed upon yourself so that people will like you and everything will stay hunky dory. Except for crushes and drunken mistakes. What a way to stir up the world! OMG you kissed the guy I like AND my exboyfriend in the SAME night! That amounts to a crapload of boringness with a smidge of really annoying immature drama thrown in. You guys have no sense of humor. If you do, its the kind I don't enjoy. I'm allowed to not like it. I exercise that option. And since you decided to read my journal, now you can continue to reap the effects of opening the floodgates. Its not about being bold. Its not about getting everything you ever wanted to do off your checklist and its not about liking (accepting) or being liked by everyone. That's certainly not something I strive for. It's about removing those rules and regulations you or others arbitrarily place upon yourself. It's about listening to yourself. Yourself changes and therefore your limits, ideas, opinions, abilities changes-constantly. No reason to get down on yourself. Regardless who turned over the Bob Marley poster. You still said "Maybe you should go away tonite". And I was still moving back home. After 4 hours of 3 flights of stairs and 2 hours of driving. Plus I still had to unload. I come home to Your Not Welcome Here. It was like mom trying to tell me to do my homework my senior year. Just her telling me made me not do it, even though it was already finished. I'm the one that cleans things up and people are telling me not to make a mess. Fuck off- are you kidding? Saying nothing works a lot better. Not only that- but it isn't the home I know & have come to love. We're hiding ourselves and making sure there is 50 extra rolls of toilet paper. Roggeman wasn't even allowed to say hi. It absolutely disgusts me when I see that. Especially because then we get all these expectations of perfect fun and then its just like Aunt Lyn's and its nice, but so what? Boring! Nothing special. Been there, done that. Mom and dad can be a lot more fun than that-without that evil herb- but they chose to hide their true self so TayTay can eat her white bread. No one in this house fights me like they shouldve learned to do by now. Everything they usually say is exactly the way to push my buttons some more. When it'd be really easy to turn it right around. Take Justin. I can bitch to him, then he goes damn that sucks, and they suck, whatever, but maybe you suck a bit too. It's the order. It's the delivery. I do still have a lot to learn. And every single day I try. Actually doing stuff. Stuff I haven't tried, read, eaten, whatever. Have another bowl of cereal. Good luck next year. I'm glad I won't be around to hear you crying because you're so stressed out.
And you are fake. 99% of the people that do the OMG! I love you so much! I am SOOOOOOOOOO glad your here! Big huge hug! Are totally putting on a show. And even if they do mean it, every once in awhile, it's usually covering up some other hurt that they're not letting on. Its a way to be close without actually being close. Cell phones/nextel addicts are doing the same thing. They appear totally connected but they're really not there at all.
And no I don't know you or your friends, but I can see right through people. My assumptions, that aren't based on a one time gander, usually turn out pretty right. I do need to work past not liking people completely, because there might be soem good things. Yeah you guys are all nice and hunky dorry, but each one of you has major insecurities, hangups, and basically a gazillion limits imposed upon yourself so that people will like you and everything will stay hunky dory. Except for crushes and drunken mistakes. What a way to stir up the world! OMG you kissed the guy I like AND my exboyfriend in the SAME night! That amounts to a crapload of boringness with a smidge of really annoying immature drama thrown in. You guys have no sense of humor. If you do, its the kind I don't enjoy. I'm allowed to not like it. I exercise that option. And since you decided to read my journal, now you can continue to reap the effects of opening the floodgates.
Its not about being bold. Its not about getting everything you ever wanted to do off your checklist and its not about liking (accepting) or being liked by everyone. That's certainly not something I strive for.
It's about removing those rules and regulations you or others arbitrarily place upon yourself. It's about listening to yourself. Yourself changes and therefore your limits, ideas, opinions, abilities changes-constantly. No reason to get down on yourself.
Regardless who turned over the Bob Marley poster. You still said "Maybe you should go away tonite". And I was still moving back home. After 4 hours of 3 flights of stairs and 2 hours of driving. Plus I still had to unload. I come home to Your Not Welcome Here. It was like mom trying to tell me to do my homework my senior year. Just her telling me made me not do it, even though it was already finished. I'm the one that cleans things up and people are telling me not to make a mess. Fuck off- are you kidding? Saying nothing works a lot better. Not only that- but it isn't the home I know & have come to love. We're hiding ourselves and making sure there is 50 extra rolls of toilet paper. Roggeman wasn't even allowed to say hi. It absolutely disgusts me when I see that. Especially because then we get all these expectations of perfect fun and then its just like Aunt Lyn's and its nice, but so what? Boring! Nothing special. Been there, done that. Mom and dad can be a lot more fun than that-without that evil herb- but they chose to hide their true self so TayTay can eat her white bread. No one in this house fights me like they shouldve learned to do by now. Everything they usually say is exactly the way to push my buttons some more. When it'd be really easy to turn it right around. Take Justin. I can bitch to him, then he goes damn that sucks, and they suck, whatever, but maybe you suck a bit too. It's the order. It's the delivery.
I do still have a lot to learn. And every single day I try. Actually doing stuff. Stuff I haven't tried, read, eaten, whatever.
Have another bowl of cereal.
Good luck next year. I'm glad I won't be around to hear you crying because you're so stressed out.
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