(no subject)
just got back from a wake, for my mother's ex, who died on friday morning. not sure how to feel. i mean, i lived with the guy for a year (my freshmen year of high school), and then i was like, 15, so i remember resenting him in a stupid-teenager-"your not my father, don't talk to me" kind of way, but the reality is that he wasn't a half bad guy, he always was there to help me and my mother out, with ANYTHING, even after they broke up they remained close friends. he made my mom happy, and thats all that matters to me now. and now he's gone, and she seems to be taking it well on the outside but i can see in her eyes that she's hurting, and that makes me feel like shit. i know it's not my fault, and i never considered myself all that close to him, but i feel weird about the whole thing. not even so much sad, just weird.
actually i've been feeling weird all week long. i know it's something more than it simply being my birthday week, constituting strange moods and eradic thoughts anyway, as i'm still trying to grasp the concept that i have been alive and breathing for almost 2 decades. no, this goes deeper than that. i dont have much time to get into it and write about it now, as i am on my out the door to head back down to the rahway area, but when i get back to bayonne later tonight i'll probably explore the topic here. probably.
maybe we'll end up at denny's on 35 later (*crosses fingers*)... that would allow for some discussion of subjects that don't relate to my stressful situation of the current time. blah blah blah. so yeah, call me @ 201-681-4084.
time to go wake up
Tom Tom. this is never an easy task. wish me luck.
actually i've been feeling weird all week long. i know it's something more than it simply being my birthday week, constituting strange moods and eradic thoughts anyway, as i'm still trying to grasp the concept that i have been alive and breathing for almost 2 decades. no, this goes deeper than that. i dont have much time to get into it and write about it now, as i am on my out the door to head back down to the rahway area, but when i get back to bayonne later tonight i'll probably explore the topic here. probably.
maybe we'll end up at denny's on 35 later (*crosses fingers*)... that would allow for some discussion of subjects that don't relate to my stressful situation of the current time. blah blah blah. so yeah, call me @ 201-681-4084.
time to go wake up
Tom Tom. this is never an easy task. wish me luck.