my pieces are rebuilding themselves... back into a whole... me.
mmmmm... i cant ignore the fact of how amazed i am about things lately... in a month's time, i bounded back and forth between the all of the extremes on the scale of the mind... from rockbottom to flying high, and everywhere in between, many times, on many different occasions... and now that i'm back in the neutral zone, this feeling of contentness wrapping me in it's arms... now that my scars have started to heal, it almost feels like it was too easy. am i really stronger? more "experienced" with the ways of the painful? am i more open-minded, and smarter than i was a month ago? [yes] i know being more open and alive is going to make for an elevated sense of mind... i will be more susceptible to hurt, deciet, etc., however more prone to the familiarity of love and security and all of the better aspects, that accompany the bad. i have learned over the years to trust my sense of intuition. i used to ignore it, but i can't any longer. it's too strong... overpowering, at times... and i really feel, my intuition is telling me, that i am exactley where i am supposed to be on my page of the book of life, reading at the right speed, not just skimming the words, or reading the same sentence repeatedly. i'm taking it word for word. day by day. and i feel righteous, or justified, if you will, in doing so.
i wish certain people would trust me more. trust me to make my own decisions, and learn from my mistakes. trust me to take care of my own. trust me to fly with these new, improved wings, better crafted for the aero-dynamics and agility that is needed to get me up and over the hills. i love my friends and family mother dearly. and i respect all insights and opinions recieved from each. when i ask for them, and i feel they are necessary, of course. i know whoever most people who give me advice and tips mean well, and want to help me through. and i am in the deepest of gratitude to them. all i ask is that you let me fly. let me see for myself. i know who to turn to if i need help. i know who would rescue me if i broke another wing, and started another plummet towards the bottom again. if i do not ask for help, i'd hate for anyone close to me to assume it is their place to jump in and save me. even if you mean the best. when i need help and support, i know where to seek it. and if i don't, then please. let me fly. trust me.
if you'll excuse me, i have a book to read.
i wish certain people would trust me more. trust me to make my own decisions, and learn from my mistakes. trust me to take care of my own. trust me to fly with these new, improved wings, better crafted for the aero-dynamics and agility that is needed to get me up and over the hills. i love my friends and family mother dearly. and i respect all insights and opinions recieved from each. when i ask for them, and i feel they are necessary, of course. i know whoever most people who give me advice and tips mean well, and want to help me through. and i am in the deepest of gratitude to them. all i ask is that you let me fly. let me see for myself. i know who to turn to if i need help. i know who would rescue me if i broke another wing, and started another plummet towards the bottom again. if i do not ask for help, i'd hate for anyone close to me to assume it is their place to jump in and save me. even if you mean the best. when i need help and support, i know where to seek it. and if i don't, then please. let me fly. trust me.
if you'll excuse me, i have a book to read.