(no subject)

[redflame886]

i made me new years resolutions and im sticking with them this time. im sick of being fat. i hate t infact. oits making so insecure again and i dont like it at all. i cant wear things i want to because people only make clothes for the deathly ill these days. im not saying i want to be that thin but i definatly want to lose 50 pounds. it seems like a lot to you guys but to me it only seems like 10. im like 230 and i want to get down to 160,eventually. i just want people to look at me and find me attractive. im not saying i need like 124088 guys after me cause i dont want that and it'll never happen i just want people to think im pretty without associating me with fatness.i want nick to find me attractive, i know he does now but ive gotten heavier since he left [depression] and i think idk he doesnt like me this fat. it'll be hard. ill start eating salads like the dickens like i did two years ago when i lost 20 lbs in a few months. i need to prom is coming soon and my dress will be off the hizzy cause im making it and i want to look good in it.

so this is my timeline :
FEB-
florida
a lonely valentines day :'(

MARCH-
Nicks birthday
MY 18TH YOO

APRIL-
getting either a tatoo or peircing
..on that note im thinking if i get a tatoo ill get a red heart on my foot, eh?

MAY-
Nick comes home for the summer
warm weather starts :)

June-
Graduation :'(
3 year anniversary <333
life begins :'(

JUNE/AUG-
living the last teenage days home
college.