The underbelly of me
You know ... there are things that each of us have that we keep hidden. Things that we know other people won't respond to no matter which way you put it. A long time ago I figured out that when someone cares enough about you they respect you enough to at least pretend to like what you love or give it a try. For a long time I really didn't care what people thought... therefore my Xfiles stage... if you were there you know what I'm refering to. But before X files I had another obession if you will, I used to love Greek,Egyptian,any mythology...so I would watch this show that gave a side to it but I could identify the mythology. To this day I watch this show when I can, when no one's home while I'm alone, on my "sick days". I am a geek... and for a while I thought it was ok to share with someone i love and... it's not. I'm still a geek to that person... but of course it disguised in a veil of one of my life's preferences. Fact is I'm kind of saddened that I still have to hide... 21 years old and I'm still hiding to watch something that I rather enjoy. 21 years old and I don't live with my mother... and I'm still hiding... lol.
I can here Tish in my head... "Ima buy you a violin and kick you out." lol
Each day we make choices so more prevalent than others, but all in all we manage to be who we really are. The soreness we feel is only slightly misguided trust of ourselves. I know who I am I wish I could just not adjust myself so I can stop feeling stupid... WHO fucking forgot to tell me you're going to feel stupid for A LONG time before you realize it's really ok... even then it's only me saying that to myself now. Why believe.
I can here Tish in my head... "Ima buy you a violin and kick you out." lol
Each day we make choices so more prevalent than others, but all in all we manage to be who we really are. The soreness we feel is only slightly misguided trust of ourselves. I know who I am I wish I could just not adjust myself so I can stop feeling stupid... WHO fucking forgot to tell me you're going to feel stupid for A LONG time before you realize it's really ok... even then it's only me saying that to myself now. Why believe.