BOYS REALLY ARE STUPID.
They *suck* ... or they *should*. It would make them more interesting.
What is it about guys that makes them think that being polite means that you're overcome with lust for them? Or is that just something common to ex-boyfriends? They figure that since you used to like fucking them, you're always gonna want to fuck them?
I have a habit of staying on good terms with my exes. I'd even go so far as to say that I pride myself on maintaining casual friendships with them. Of course, their wives all hate me, so it's not like anyone's being invited over for Christmas dinner, but I think it's perfectly okay to chat with them on the street or exchange emails or texts.
There's two guys in particular who have made repeated attempts to reignite relationships with me over the years, who I've had to just as repeatedly shoot down. Why the hell do I have to be a complete BITCH before they'll fucking listen?
Now, here's a third ex. He crawled out of the woodwork a week before my fortieth birthday and yanked my chain about turning forty, then as usual tried to turn the IM convo to sex. Equally as usual, I shut him down and dismissed the entire incident. A week later, apparently he saw me in a local diner with my mom, and he IMed me to hassle me about how I didn't say hi. ( Of course, *he* didn't acknowledge me, but evidently that doesn't matter. ) He said he was with his wife and that she thinks he's not over me.
DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN. IT WAS OVER FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, WOMAN. DEAL WITH IT.
Last Thursday, he messaged me, chatted a bit, then told me he was sending me an email. Okay, whatever.
And then I open the email, and I get . . . a proposition. Oh, it was quite lengthy, and started off praising my charms, etcetera, etcetera. Then it becomes a string of backhanded insults ( like, he says, "Thanks for fucking me up so bad." )
From there it's all, I know you want me 'cause you still talk to me and I bet you haven't gotten laid in years and I don't wanna leave my wife, just hook up.
OH, REALLY?
They have websites for that, you know. They're called ESCORT SERVICES. I suggest you investigate a few.
Overall, I'm not even sure what part of his email pisses me off the most: his assumptions about my sex life, his belief that I'd be happy to be available at his convenience for sex, or his ridiculous conviction that I obviously am consumed with an overwhelming desire for his person.
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.
So that's it, then? I'm nice and I don't bitchslap his sleazy ass down into the street where it belongs, and so that must mean I want to have sex with him??????
MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE.
I think that's it. I think that's what infuriates me almost beyond the point of reason: the assumption that pleasant, polite, and conversational must therefore equal lust-addled.
I really wanted to find a way to forward the email to HIS WIFE, but I settled for a return reply of sufficient viciousness that all I heard back was nevermind, won't be writing you again.
To which I can only say a resounding THANK GOD.
I wish I were a tyrannosaurus . . . I'd go stomp his ass into the GROUND. What a DICK.
There's this quote from a FUCKING AWESOME t-shirt I bought last year that I find very appropriate right now:
I'M A T-REX TRAPPED IN A HUMAN BODY
Yeah. I can dig it.
What is it about guys that makes them think that being polite means that you're overcome with lust for them? Or is that just something common to ex-boyfriends? They figure that since you used to like fucking them, you're always gonna want to fuck them?
I have a habit of staying on good terms with my exes. I'd even go so far as to say that I pride myself on maintaining casual friendships with them. Of course, their wives all hate me, so it's not like anyone's being invited over for Christmas dinner, but I think it's perfectly okay to chat with them on the street or exchange emails or texts.
There's two guys in particular who have made repeated attempts to reignite relationships with me over the years, who I've had to just as repeatedly shoot down. Why the hell do I have to be a complete BITCH before they'll fucking listen?
Now, here's a third ex. He crawled out of the woodwork a week before my fortieth birthday and yanked my chain about turning forty, then as usual tried to turn the IM convo to sex. Equally as usual, I shut him down and dismissed the entire incident. A week later, apparently he saw me in a local diner with my mom, and he IMed me to hassle me about how I didn't say hi. ( Of course, *he* didn't acknowledge me, but evidently that doesn't matter. ) He said he was with his wife and that she thinks he's not over me.
DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN. IT WAS OVER FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, WOMAN. DEAL WITH IT.
Last Thursday, he messaged me, chatted a bit, then told me he was sending me an email. Okay, whatever.
And then I open the email, and I get . . . a proposition. Oh, it was quite lengthy, and started off praising my charms, etcetera, etcetera. Then it becomes a string of backhanded insults ( like, he says, "Thanks for fucking me up so bad." )
From there it's all, I know you want me 'cause you still talk to me and I bet you haven't gotten laid in years and I don't wanna leave my wife, just hook up.
OH, REALLY?
They have websites for that, you know. They're called ESCORT SERVICES. I suggest you investigate a few.
Overall, I'm not even sure what part of his email pisses me off the most: his assumptions about my sex life, his belief that I'd be happy to be available at his convenience for sex, or his ridiculous conviction that I obviously am consumed with an overwhelming desire for his person.
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.
So that's it, then? I'm nice and I don't bitchslap his sleazy ass down into the street where it belongs, and so that must mean I want to have sex with him??????
MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE.
I think that's it. I think that's what infuriates me almost beyond the point of reason: the assumption that pleasant, polite, and conversational must therefore equal lust-addled.
I really wanted to find a way to forward the email to HIS WIFE, but I settled for a return reply of sufficient viciousness that all I heard back was nevermind, won't be writing you again.
To which I can only say a resounding THANK GOD.
I wish I were a tyrannosaurus . . . I'd go stomp his ass into the GROUND. What a DICK.
There's this quote from a FUCKING AWESOME t-shirt I bought last year that I find very appropriate right now:
I'M A T-REX TRAPPED IN A HUMAN BODY
Yeah. I can dig it.