THE MOON IS IN A WEIRD PHASE.
Or something like that. Today's already been a supremely weird day, and it's barely ten am.
I'd only been on the bus for all of two minutes when some guy up front got up and stood in the aisle, shouting at some other guy and getting in his face. I sit in the very last row, so I couldn't hear much of what was said, but rush hour buses are usually fairly calm. The buses are full of people who are working or sleeping or otherwise focused on the day ahead . . . the random crazies don't generally come out until later in the day. Oh, and at night-- the freaks always come out at night.
Nothing escalated . . . the guy shut up and sat down, and though I craned my neck at the next stop to see if there would be any more interesting shenanigans as a couple of guys debarked, all was quiet.
At the following stop, a married couple I recognized got on the bus. They usually sit near me, and I've exchanged nodding hellos on a few occasions with the husband. The wife never looks me in the eye, and I figured she was the shy half of the couple. Relationships often work out that way, it seems . . . one partner extremely social and outgoing, the other person more retiring and quiet. No big deal. I was messing with my iPod and wasn't paying that much attention to them today, other than to identify and sort of mentally dismiss their presence.
Except that today, the wife threw "retiring, shy and quiet" right out the window when she stood up and demanded that I stop looking at her husband.
I didn't even realize she was talking to me, at first. I had to pull out my earbuds and ask, "Excuse me?"
"I see you watching him!" she informed me. "You just can't wait to try and get with him, you think I don't see it?"
I kind of blinked at her. I almost couldn't believe this was happening. I think I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Whatever," and then, apparently, it was ON. She started shrieking the bus down.
First off, let's just say that between you and me, flist? I'm not that hot. Secondly, I don't hit on married guys, especially ones that are traveling with their wives. That's just tacky. Thirdly? SILENT HEAD BOBS OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT DO NOT COUNT AS FLIRTING.
When she took a breath, I said, pretty calmly considering the circumstances, "If you are seriously so afraid that your husband is going to cheat on you that you have to start screaming at strangers on the bus, you have bigger problems than just me."
Oh, man. I think she hit notes that only DOGS could hear. Then she called me fat-- like, *duh*, I've never heard *that* one before-- and said something like that she wouldn't be able to miss when she beat the shit out of me.
I started laughing in her face and am somewhat shamed to admit that I taunted her in return. I'm pretty sure I came up with the oh-so-original, "Bring it, *bitch*."
That did it-- she tried to climb over her husband and a couple of other passengers to get to me, only the bus driver slammed on the brakes and yelled over the loudspeaker, "Anyone standing up can walk off this bus right now, or the cops can drag you off!"
I was really glad that I'd stayed seated.
So her husband, who up until then had been meekly sitting in near-silence, gathered up their stuff and started moving. She followed him like she was incapable of letting him out of her sight, and threw back over her shoulder that I'd leave her man alone if I knew what was good for me.
I tossed back that she'd better start taking another bus, then.
You could see her *wanting* to come back and start screaming at me again, but her husband grabbed her hand and they kept going. And so the person who started all the trouble voluntarily removed herself from the situation, and I didn't even have to throw a punch.
Which was actually kind of a letdown.
All that adrenaline, and nowhere for it to go . . . I spent the rest of the commute shaking in my corner while all the fight-chemicals dissipated.
It will be interesting to see what happens tomorrow.
Oh, then I got to work and one of the guys was talking about a fight that started on his train that morning.
I'm telling you, it's gotta be the moon.
I'd only been on the bus for all of two minutes when some guy up front got up and stood in the aisle, shouting at some other guy and getting in his face. I sit in the very last row, so I couldn't hear much of what was said, but rush hour buses are usually fairly calm. The buses are full of people who are working or sleeping or otherwise focused on the day ahead . . . the random crazies don't generally come out until later in the day. Oh, and at night-- the freaks always come out at night.
Nothing escalated . . . the guy shut up and sat down, and though I craned my neck at the next stop to see if there would be any more interesting shenanigans as a couple of guys debarked, all was quiet.
At the following stop, a married couple I recognized got on the bus. They usually sit near me, and I've exchanged nodding hellos on a few occasions with the husband. The wife never looks me in the eye, and I figured she was the shy half of the couple. Relationships often work out that way, it seems . . . one partner extremely social and outgoing, the other person more retiring and quiet. No big deal. I was messing with my iPod and wasn't paying that much attention to them today, other than to identify and sort of mentally dismiss their presence.
Except that today, the wife threw "retiring, shy and quiet" right out the window when she stood up and demanded that I stop looking at her husband.
I didn't even realize she was talking to me, at first. I had to pull out my earbuds and ask, "Excuse me?"
"I see you watching him!" she informed me. "You just can't wait to try and get with him, you think I don't see it?"
I kind of blinked at her. I almost couldn't believe this was happening. I think I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Whatever," and then, apparently, it was ON. She started shrieking the bus down.
First off, let's just say that between you and me, flist? I'm not that hot. Secondly, I don't hit on married guys, especially ones that are traveling with their wives. That's just tacky. Thirdly? SILENT HEAD BOBS OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT DO NOT COUNT AS FLIRTING.
When she took a breath, I said, pretty calmly considering the circumstances, "If you are seriously so afraid that your husband is going to cheat on you that you have to start screaming at strangers on the bus, you have bigger problems than just me."
Oh, man. I think she hit notes that only DOGS could hear. Then she called me fat-- like, *duh*, I've never heard *that* one before-- and said something like that she wouldn't be able to miss when she beat the shit out of me.
I started laughing in her face and am somewhat shamed to admit that I taunted her in return. I'm pretty sure I came up with the oh-so-original, "Bring it, *bitch*."
That did it-- she tried to climb over her husband and a couple of other passengers to get to me, only the bus driver slammed on the brakes and yelled over the loudspeaker, "Anyone standing up can walk off this bus right now, or the cops can drag you off!"
I was really glad that I'd stayed seated.
So her husband, who up until then had been meekly sitting in near-silence, gathered up their stuff and started moving. She followed him like she was incapable of letting him out of her sight, and threw back over her shoulder that I'd leave her man alone if I knew what was good for me.
I tossed back that she'd better start taking another bus, then.
You could see her *wanting* to come back and start screaming at me again, but her husband grabbed her hand and they kept going. And so the person who started all the trouble voluntarily removed herself from the situation, and I didn't even have to throw a punch.
Which was actually kind of a letdown.
All that adrenaline, and nowhere for it to go . . . I spent the rest of the commute shaking in my corner while all the fight-chemicals dissipated.
It will be interesting to see what happens tomorrow.
Oh, then I got to work and one of the guys was talking about a fight that started on his train that morning.
I'm telling you, it's gotta be the moon.