YEP, FORTY'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER.
So yesterday I went to the eye doctor, because I've been having . . . I wouldn't say *problems*, exactly, but there have been some concerns.
They took pictures of my eyeball -- which, let me tell you, beat the *fuck* out of getting dilation drops and was well worth the forty bucks -- and I got my eye exam and all that fun stuff.
And then the doctor said, you know, that given my family history of macular degeneration ( I'm starting to sweat, hearing that ) and my personal history of DVT ( and there goes the blood pressure, I can feel it soaring ), she's sorry to have to tell me . . . .
-- WAIT FOR IT --
. . . that it's time for FUCKING BIFOCALS.
I howled, "SON OF A BITCH!" loud enough to be heard out in the waiting room. The doctor was a bit taken aback and I yelled, "You were FREAKING ME OUT!!"
"Um," she said, and kind of blinked at me. "April Fool's?"
I almost threw something at her. Luckily for us both, there was nothing within reach.
I don't think she meant for things to sound the way they did . . . she had no way of knowing that pretty much my biggest fear is blindness, and her choice of phrasing just tapped into every worst-case scenario I could imagine.
Still. FREAKED ME *THE FUCK* OUT.
So after I got over the terror and panic, then I had time and energy to sulk about needing bifocals. Goddammit.
However, the frames I picked out were very very cute, and insurance will cover a lot of the cost, so there's a plus. I wanted the frames in a different color, so they're being ordered for me. When they come in, I'll swing by and try them on, and then they'll put in the lenses.
And then I can wear them and feel old.
*grumps off*
They took pictures of my eyeball -- which, let me tell you, beat the *fuck* out of getting dilation drops and was well worth the forty bucks -- and I got my eye exam and all that fun stuff.
And then the doctor said, you know, that given my family history of macular degeneration ( I'm starting to sweat, hearing that ) and my personal history of DVT ( and there goes the blood pressure, I can feel it soaring ), she's sorry to have to tell me . . . .
-- WAIT FOR IT --
. . . that it's time for FUCKING BIFOCALS.
I howled, "SON OF A BITCH!" loud enough to be heard out in the waiting room. The doctor was a bit taken aback and I yelled, "You were FREAKING ME OUT!!"
"Um," she said, and kind of blinked at me. "April Fool's?"
I almost threw something at her. Luckily for us both, there was nothing within reach.
I don't think she meant for things to sound the way they did . . . she had no way of knowing that pretty much my biggest fear is blindness, and her choice of phrasing just tapped into every worst-case scenario I could imagine.
Still. FREAKED ME *THE FUCK* OUT.
So after I got over the terror and panic, then I had time and energy to sulk about needing bifocals. Goddammit.
However, the frames I picked out were very very cute, and insurance will cover a lot of the cost, so there's a plus. I wanted the frames in a different color, so they're being ordered for me. When they come in, I'll swing by and try them on, and then they'll put in the lenses.
And then I can wear them and feel old.
*grumps off*