So. This Open Source Boob Project thing.
Okay, let me get this straight.
Some guy acts like a complete asshole in public, and then blogs about it, and people are surprised? And we need to have a whole internet kerfluffle about it?
OH PLEASE.
He's just one more jackass who's going to get pasted to the floor of the bar when he has the misfortune to run into me and try that crap. I outgrew my peer-pressured, dubcon phase a LONG FUCKING TIME AGO.
I think what bothers me most of all about the whole thing was a vague feeling I got from reading a lot of the posts and comments: to wit, that if the boobs are on display, someone is entitled to grope them.
That skates way too close to the idea that a wife can't be raped by her husband, or a prostitute raped by anyone, for my comfort.
I'm lucky, I suppose . . . I've never truly been afraid in my daily life. I function with the awareness that I am, as a woman, more likely to be seen as a potential target for everything from panhandling to rape to murder, and the potential for sexual violence is an unfortunate threat that I believe most women are taught to see as a fact of life, but I've never felt these feelings other women are describing, the perpetual lurking terror that they say surrounds them.
Part of it is probably my weight. It's a little harder to do harm to a talking fireplug in the way that one might overpower a wispy little kitten of a thing. Part of it is the self-confidence of years of karate. And part of it is just plain common sense, which seems to be in short supply these days.
Do we really need people to call for a pledge among women to defend other women from unwanted advances? That's not sisterhood, that's everyday courtesy, and anyone, male or female, should expect to both receive it and to dispense it when necessary.
And this guy who started the whole thing with his nonsensical post just dripping with that vague sense of defensive entitlement?
You, sir, are no gentleman.
If you were, and if everything were as innocent as you attempted to paint it? You would not have posted about it at all, let alone with that veneer of gloat washed across the entire tale.
Grow up. You knew better before you started this, or else you wouldn't be such an apologist for your cause. Life isn't fair, but making it fair does not include your personal free access to the sexuality of the post-Victorian woman in all her modern and unfettered display. Also, keep in mind that you do not speak for all men, not even a majority of them. You would do well to remember that, because the tradition of dueling, although subtler nowadays, is still alive and well.
The women who participated, against their better judgment, because they were peer-pressured, felt threatened, whatever?
You need to grow up, too. Because going along with bullies never worked on the school playground, and it sure isn't going to in real life. Learn to say no, with fists to back it up if necessary, and for God's sake -- or rather, your own -- stand up for yourself, or you can't expect other people to do so. Yes, we are women, often physically smaller and possessing less brute strength -- that does not mean that we are helpless and must rely solely on the kind intercessions of random strangers to save us from uncomfortable situations.
Some guy acts like a complete asshole in public, and then blogs about it, and people are surprised? And we need to have a whole internet kerfluffle about it?
OH PLEASE.
He's just one more jackass who's going to get pasted to the floor of the bar when he has the misfortune to run into me and try that crap. I outgrew my peer-pressured, dubcon phase a LONG FUCKING TIME AGO.
I think what bothers me most of all about the whole thing was a vague feeling I got from reading a lot of the posts and comments: to wit, that if the boobs are on display, someone is entitled to grope them.
That skates way too close to the idea that a wife can't be raped by her husband, or a prostitute raped by anyone, for my comfort.
I'm lucky, I suppose . . . I've never truly been afraid in my daily life. I function with the awareness that I am, as a woman, more likely to be seen as a potential target for everything from panhandling to rape to murder, and the potential for sexual violence is an unfortunate threat that I believe most women are taught to see as a fact of life, but I've never felt these feelings other women are describing, the perpetual lurking terror that they say surrounds them.
Part of it is probably my weight. It's a little harder to do harm to a talking fireplug in the way that one might overpower a wispy little kitten of a thing. Part of it is the self-confidence of years of karate. And part of it is just plain common sense, which seems to be in short supply these days.
Do we really need people to call for a pledge among women to defend other women from unwanted advances? That's not sisterhood, that's everyday courtesy, and anyone, male or female, should expect to both receive it and to dispense it when necessary.
And this guy who started the whole thing with his nonsensical post just dripping with that vague sense of defensive entitlement?
You, sir, are no gentleman.
If you were, and if everything were as innocent as you attempted to paint it? You would not have posted about it at all, let alone with that veneer of gloat washed across the entire tale.
Grow up. You knew better before you started this, or else you wouldn't be such an apologist for your cause. Life isn't fair, but making it fair does not include your personal free access to the sexuality of the post-Victorian woman in all her modern and unfettered display. Also, keep in mind that you do not speak for all men, not even a majority of them. You would do well to remember that, because the tradition of dueling, although subtler nowadays, is still alive and well.
The women who participated, against their better judgment, because they were peer-pressured, felt threatened, whatever?
You need to grow up, too. Because going along with bullies never worked on the school playground, and it sure isn't going to in real life. Learn to say no, with fists to back it up if necessary, and for God's sake -- or rather, your own -- stand up for yourself, or you can't expect other people to do so. Yes, we are women, often physically smaller and possessing less brute strength -- that does not mean that we are helpless and must rely solely on the kind intercessions of random strangers to save us from uncomfortable situations.