RAMBLING ON GENDER & SEXUAL IDENTITY.
This post probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I'm just scribbling thoughts as they come to me, not really making a coherent statement here.
I just skimmed a really fascinating book ( that probably everyone else in the world already knows about ), called Queer Theory, Gender Theory: An Instant Primer.
One part jumped out at me as I was flipping through, and I paused to read the author's description of a visit he paid to a clothing store to shop in the women's section, and how "[i]t was intimidating. It was scary. No one exactly harassed me, but I can't say I felt exactly safe either."
And I found myself thinking that he just should have gone to Lane Bryant on a night when Shirleen and I were working.
Okay, granted, I'm sure the author lives in LA or NYC or some other grand cosmop city and wouldn't know our little store from a hole in the wall, but we had a fairly significant group of transgendered or genderqueered individuals who came in to shop, specifically on the nights when Shirleen and I were there, because we treated them just like every other customer.
A lot of the other girls would point and laugh and whisper behind their hands, or just avoid them altogether.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be someone who is not considered a "traditional" female to walk into a women's clothing store to shop. There's no need to make it harder on them by laughing at them.
That kind of behavior really gets my goat, mostly because it's childish, but also because it's just plain rude. The employees were all over 21, and it's not like these were the first people they'd ever seen who dressed like members of the opposite sex for whatever reason.
I'm perfectly willing to admit that I don't always get the political terminology correct. I'm never sure if it's okay to say "transvestite" anymore, or if that's on the list of proscribed terms. And sure, it's human nature, I think, for people to like categories. We like to be able to pigeonhole people, even as we want to identify ourselves as belonging to a certain group or groups. And I suffer from the alarming tendency to choose the absolute WORST POSSIBLE insult when I lose my temper, which happens more often than it should. But I like to think that I'm trying, at least.
I used to tell my best friend John, after he came out, that if he starting acting more feminine than me, then we'd have problems.
And then I realized... duh! Why? Why would we have problems? Does his flamboyant gayness threaten my self-identified femininy?
It's always been easy for me to look past certain stereotypes. I've never judged anyone based on who they love. Why should I judge someone based on the assumed gender, as determined by how the person dresses?
You know, it wasn't that long ago that female teachers in my schools were criticized for wearing pants instead of skirts. And this was in 1985!
In some ways, we've come so far, and in other ways?
Still got a loooooooooong way to go.
I just skimmed a really fascinating book ( that probably everyone else in the world already knows about ), called Queer Theory, Gender Theory: An Instant Primer.
One part jumped out at me as I was flipping through, and I paused to read the author's description of a visit he paid to a clothing store to shop in the women's section, and how "[i]t was intimidating. It was scary. No one exactly harassed me, but I can't say I felt exactly safe either."
And I found myself thinking that he just should have gone to Lane Bryant on a night when Shirleen and I were working.
Okay, granted, I'm sure the author lives in LA or NYC or some other grand cosmop city and wouldn't know our little store from a hole in the wall, but we had a fairly significant group of transgendered or genderqueered individuals who came in to shop, specifically on the nights when Shirleen and I were there, because we treated them just like every other customer.
A lot of the other girls would point and laugh and whisper behind their hands, or just avoid them altogether.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be someone who is not considered a "traditional" female to walk into a women's clothing store to shop. There's no need to make it harder on them by laughing at them.
That kind of behavior really gets my goat, mostly because it's childish, but also because it's just plain rude. The employees were all over 21, and it's not like these were the first people they'd ever seen who dressed like members of the opposite sex for whatever reason.
I'm perfectly willing to admit that I don't always get the political terminology correct. I'm never sure if it's okay to say "transvestite" anymore, or if that's on the list of proscribed terms. And sure, it's human nature, I think, for people to like categories. We like to be able to pigeonhole people, even as we want to identify ourselves as belonging to a certain group or groups. And I suffer from the alarming tendency to choose the absolute WORST POSSIBLE insult when I lose my temper, which happens more often than it should. But I like to think that I'm trying, at least.
I used to tell my best friend John, after he came out, that if he starting acting more feminine than me, then we'd have problems.
And then I realized... duh! Why? Why would we have problems? Does his flamboyant gayness threaten my self-identified femininy?
It's always been easy for me to look past certain stereotypes. I've never judged anyone based on who they love. Why should I judge someone based on the assumed gender, as determined by how the person dresses?
You know, it wasn't that long ago that female teachers in my schools were criticized for wearing pants instead of skirts. And this was in 1985!
In some ways, we've come so far, and in other ways?
Still got a loooooooooong way to go.