Friends

[redfaerybug]

Why is it so hard to have friends? I just don't understand girls. Why is it so hard for me to get along w/ them? They always seem jealous of me. I know that sounds bad, but it's true. I guess it's not just girls that are jealous, guys get like that too, but not as much. I mean really, am I supposed to be friends w/ only one person? Well according to certain people that live here, I can only be friends w/ my husband, & no one else. Which REALLY PISSES ME OFF!!! Am I not aloud to have normal friendships/ relationships outside of my marriage? Am I not allowed to have other friendships outside of a best friend/ relationship? It's sooo hard for me to make friends. I feel so alone. K says why can't your husband be your best friend? I say, He used to be. But not anymore. What happened? Who knows! Best friend turns out to be a girl. Husband & her don't get along. Now what? Try to be friends w/ both of them. Neither seem to like it when I hang out w/ anyone else but them. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? Try to hang out w/ girl because husband stresses me out. Girl has other friend that she thinks betrayed her. She starts to get paranoid. Takes it out on me. & I STILL try to be her friend. Now it seems like girl thinks that since other friend "betrayed" her & what not, that if I hang out w/ other girl, that I'm betraying her. She doesn't even understand the original reason her other friends are mad at her. She just doesn't seem to get it. What the fuck! Those other people did nothing to me. What's between them is exactly that, Between them! Not me. This seems to be my problem. I have a A LOT of friends. Most of them are people i just hang out w/. not even really close. But when I try to make close friends, they seem to get too needy/dependant on me? I don't know. Every time I make a "best" friend, whether the best friend ends up being a boy, a girl, or my husband, they seem to get jealous of the outside relationships I have. WHAT THE FUCK??? You know, my daughter seems to have the same problem. Everyone wants to play w/ her. Sooo bad they fight over who's going to get to spend the most time w/ her. When they fight over her this makes her upset. So she's ends up playing all by her self. & then feels sooo lonely.

This story is sooo long there's sooo much more too it. My ADHD brain can't handle all of it. I'm going to go get stoned.....