[25]
[ooc: written around the same time as her report]
It would figure that writing the report on the mission would remind me of the oddity of Sai. I'd forgotten, really, because of the shit with Itae, but, there's really something wrong about Sai. Itae's a sociopath, but she's still got some emotions. ANBU or whatever didn't wholly kill them out of her, though they came close I guess.
Sai on the other hand... There's nothing. I don't want to think I'm waxing philosophical about anything but the feel of her? There IS no feel. She has a chakra presence expected of any shinobi, but there's no flavor for lack of a better word. She would remind me of Ibiki except for the the fact Ibiki's this very careful neutrality that occasionally shows a ripple of curiosity. But Sai has nothing. It's not even neutral. Neutral implies that something is purposely pushed aside.
There's no way a human being could be such an emotional blank slate. It's not like the slate was wiped clean, it's more the slate was never written on in the first place.
Which makes her fake expressions even more annoying.
She'd admitted herself that she doesn't understand emotions...which if I hold to the belief she was never permitted to feel in the first place could make sense.
But who the hell could have taught her that? Konoha's all about letting yourself feel but not letting those same feelings distract you during a mission. I should know, Kakami-sensei's made that unspokenly clear for years.
Still.
...Yeah, Sai's "still" all right. That lack of emotions makes her the perfect tool. I can't imagine that lack makes the Hokage comfortable at all, regardless how useful the tool is.
That reminds me, I need to talk to Kakami-sensei. Not just about Itae and the raiton thing I did, but now that I'm remembering the conversation with Sai, I don't like that wording she used. "Turn into a monster at will." As far as I know, only an actual select few know about my seal, nevermind what happens when I go level two. I don't like she knows. That blank slate bothers me because I can't know what she's thinking. There's what she says, but it could be the same farce those ugly fake expressions are.
She knew about Sakurai's seal. Combined with the comment about Naruko, that Sai has to be ANBU. I've never seen a tattoo, but it's possible not all ANBU are marked. That's the other reason I want to talk to Kakami-sensei. She was ANBU, and she might still know others (aside from Asuka) who would talk to her, and hopefully she'll tell me.
I remember seeing pride and approval on Neesan's face when I hurt her. I even received a compliment. "You've improved. Good." Why only then!?
It would figure that writing the report on the mission would remind me of the oddity of Sai. I'd forgotten, really, because of the shit with Itae, but, there's really something wrong about Sai. Itae's a sociopath, but she's still got some emotions. ANBU or whatever didn't wholly kill them out of her, though they came close I guess.
Sai on the other hand... There's nothing. I don't want to think I'm waxing philosophical about anything but the feel of her? There IS no feel. She has a chakra presence expected of any shinobi, but there's no flavor for lack of a better word. She would remind me of Ibiki except for the the fact Ibiki's this very careful neutrality that occasionally shows a ripple of curiosity. But Sai has nothing. It's not even neutral. Neutral implies that something is purposely pushed aside.
There's no way a human being could be such an emotional blank slate. It's not like the slate was wiped clean, it's more the slate was never written on in the first place.
Which makes her fake expressions even more annoying.
She'd admitted herself that she doesn't understand emotions...which if I hold to the belief she was never permitted to feel in the first place could make sense.
But who the hell could have taught her that? Konoha's all about letting yourself feel but not letting those same feelings distract you during a mission. I should know, Kakami-sensei's made that unspokenly clear for years.
Still.
...Yeah, Sai's "still" all right. That lack of emotions makes her the perfect tool. I can't imagine that lack makes the Hokage comfortable at all, regardless how useful the tool is.
That reminds me, I need to talk to Kakami-sensei. Not just about Itae and the raiton thing I did, but now that I'm remembering the conversation with Sai, I don't like that wording she used. "Turn into a monster at will." As far as I know, only an actual select few know about my seal, nevermind what happens when I go level two. I don't like she knows. That blank slate bothers me because I can't know what she's thinking. There's what she says, but it could be the same farce those ugly fake expressions are.
She knew about Sakurai's seal. Combined with the comment about Naruko, that Sai has to be ANBU. I've never seen a tattoo, but it's possible not all ANBU are marked. That's the other reason I want to talk to Kakami-sensei. She was ANBU, and she might still know others (aside from Asuka) who would talk to her, and hopefully she'll tell me.
I remember seeing pride and approval on Neesan's face when I hurt her. I even received a compliment. "You've improved. Good." Why only then!?