and darling don't you know? (it gets harder to breathe) for ohmyjeong
recipient's username: ohmyjeong
title: and darling don't you know? (it gets harder to breathe)
pairing/focus: Seulgi/Wendy , Seulgi-centric
rating: pg-13
wordcount: 5,302
warnings: slight mentions of homophobia
summary: dance!au Seulgi left South Korea to pursue someone's dream, or so she thought.
author's note: i had many difficulties when writing this piece thus i feel that it's not one of the best i've written. i truly apologize to the one who requested this prompt. i hope it fulfills what you're looking for ; ;
The dance studios at the East block of the school is vacant at this time of the day. Most students
prefer using the studios at the West block, where the air conditioning works to make up for the
afternoon heat. Despite the lack of air conditioning, Seulgi makes use of a room in the East block
anyway. She rather that than the packed dance studios at the other block.
Usually she would be the first to reach the studio but when she is about to take out the keys she was
given, she finds that the door is already unlocked. Seulgi already hears music playing in the room and
she pushes the door open to see Jinyoung doing one of his own routines.
Jinyoung seems to have noticed her going in as he stops in the middle of a pose and smiles at her.
“You’re early today,” Seulgi comments as she puts down her things next to Jinyoung’s.
“My classes ended early today,” Jinyoung says, walking over to turn off the music.
Seulgi knew Jinyoung from Advanced Ballet. There aren’t many boys who took ballet, most of them
do b-boy or modern dance. Among the Asian guys of the school, Jinyoung is pretty much the only
one who took ballet. He is not a person to be reckoned with, however. There is a reason why he is
one of the few guys in Advanced Ballet anyway.
Taking off her Jordans, Seulgi slips into her ballet shoes which she has long broken into. She has
been doing ballet since she was 3 and she can’t remember a part of her life without it. All her life,
this is what she has been doing and she can’t see herself doing anything else.
“So which routine are we doing today?” Jinyoung asks, helping her tie the ribbons up her calves.
“The nutcracker?” Seulgi suggests and Jinyoung nods, leaning towards the laptop to change the
music.
As Jinyoung looks for the song in his playlist, Seulgi warms up by doing a few stretches. She puts her
hair up in a bun and takes a deep breath as she shrugs off her sweater, revealing her dark blue
leotard with the floral lace detail at the back. It was a gift from her mother before she left Korea to
attend this school. She would’ve used her rose leotard which she is more comfortable with but she
left it in the wash this morning.
The leotard her mother gave her doesn’t feel good on her skin.
When the music starts playing and Jinyoung holds out his hand towards her, Seulgi starts the first
pose. Out of all the routines she has learned, the Pas de Deux ones are probably the most
challenging for her, mainly because it requires chemistry and trust between the two dancers. Her
past partners were horrible and many a times has she found herself on the floor because of them.
Pointe. Twirl. Lift. Pose.
Jinyoung is probably the best out of all of them. For starters, he has never dropped her not even
once.
Her partner places his hands on her waist as she stands on her pointe and twirls again for the
routine. All the while, Seulgi’s eyes have been on the mirror. The mirror has perhaps been her
mentor for as long as she has been dancing. She has been taught to point out her own mistakes;
ballet is all about the right angles and precision.
As they carry on with the routine, she only finds more and more mistakes in her poses. Either the
degree of her turn is off, or her back is not straightened.
The leotard doesn’t feel good on her skin.
As compared to how beautiful and fluid Jinyoung moves, Seulgi pales in comparison.
It’s the leotard.
Her distress seems to show in her face as Jinyoung catches it in the mirror. “You’re doing fine,” he
assures her.
Despite Jinyoung’s words, the distress gnaws at Seulgi’s focus and makes her stumble at a pose.
Fortunately, Jinyoung is quick to catch her before she falls to the floor. “Woah, are you alright?”
Why did she have to give her the leotard?
Seulgi is so mad that she cannot look at herself in the mirror.
This is just not right.
---
When Seulgi reaches home she heads straight towards the laundry room and takes her rose leotard,
chucking the dark blue one deep inside a closet of cleaning equipment. She had ran out of the studio
just to change out of her leotard and left a very confused Jinyoung to wonder about her sudden
outburst.
Seulgi is thankful that her dad doesn’t get home until dinner or he would have seen her hide her
mum’s gift out of sight. She really doesn’t feel like talking about it. She never really tells her dad
anything about her mum since their divorce when she was 5.
Dinner is a whole new affair altogether. Her dad brings home pasta and some cakes from the café
near his workplace. Seulgi is surprised when she sees the cakes. Her dad is definitely not the type for
sweet treats. He must have had someone who went there with him, or more specifically a date. She
knows from the way he is just poking his plate of pasta instead of eating.
“So who is it, dad?” she asks her dad with a small smirk.
“Who who?” her dad replies.
Seulgi giggles. “The guy you’re dating. Is he a co-worker? Or perhaps he was a client turned love
interest? That just sounds more romantic.”
Her dad chuckles at her pondering. Even though Seulgi has been under her dad’s roof for just half a
year, there has never really been an awkward moment between them, especially when it comes to
her dad’s sexuality.
Seulgi doesn’t mind that her dad’s gay or that was what caused the divorce in the first place.
Sometimes her dad sucks at being a dad because he wasn’t the one who brought her up, but Seulgi
loves him all the same.
“How’s school?” her dad asks, trying to steer the conversation to another direction.
“It was okay.”
“And ballet?”
Seulgi stops eating to think on what to say. Despite it being unsaid, she knows that her mum is giving
her dad pressure when it comes to her and ballet. He doesn’t mind, if anything he is all for her living
with him to go to the International School of Dance here in the States. She knows that what her dad
would like to see her do in the future is something she loves.
“I…” she begins, “I don’t think I want to do ballet anymore, dad.”
Her dad stops poking at his plate and looks at her. “What do you mean? You love ballet.”
“I don’t,” Seulgi says, “It’s just something mum wants me to do.”
Her dad sighs. “You know it’s different when you’re doing things for someone else and when you’re
doing things for yourself. You can’t blame your mother for making you love ballet.”
“You don’t even know what happened between me and her,” Seulgi says, a bit agitated and she
suddenly regrets it when she sees the look on her dad’s face.
Seulgi knows that her dad sometimes feel bad for not being there when she was growing up.
However, she has never blamed him for how critical her mum can get.
“I- I didn’t mean it that way-”
Her dad shakes his head and gets up, taking his plate with him. Seulgi suddenly doesn’t feel like
eating anymore. She picks up her plate as well and follows her dad to the kitchen. She is met by his
back, her dad hunched over the sink.
Seulgi goes over and wraps her arms around him. “I’m sorry. You’re not a terrible dad,” she whispers
to his back. “You know I love you, right?”
It takes a while before her dad turns around and hugs her back. “And you know your mother’s not a
terrible mother too, right?”
“You don’t have to stop doing the things you love just because it’s the one thing you share with your
mother.”
---
After dinner, Seulgi goes into her room and switches on the radio, turning up the volume till high. Ed
Sheeran’s Sing plays and Seulgi sways her hips to the rhythm as she changes out of her clothes. Her
phone pings in the middle of the song and Seulgi struts as she makes her way to her bed from the
closet.
From: Wendy
Emergency dance party?
From: Wendy
Alright, I’ll get the ice-cream and cookies.
Seulgi smiles at the text and leans over to draw the curtains. She is greeted with a smiling Wendy
waving from the opposing window.
They sit on the carpet as they eat the cookies and ice-cream. Wendy was in the middle of homework
and as always, decided to come over after ditching her priorities. She goes to the High School near
Seulgi’s International School and lives just next door.
Seulgi remembers the first time she met Wendy after moving in with her dad. She surprised Seulgi as
she has shocking electric blue at the tips of her hair. She also has peculiar friends who hangs out at
her house during the weekends. Her dad had said that she’s a darling but Seulgi didn’t really get to
talk to her because she was always practicing at the studio. They only managed to get closer when
Wendy came over during term break with cookies. A visit turned into two visits and now she comes
over at a regular basis.
“So what was the emergency dance party for?” Wendy asks, focused on getting ice-cream in
between two cookies.
“Well, just…” Seulgi still doesn’t feel like talking about it but sitting with Wendy just made her spill
everything. “I don’t think ballet is my thing anymore.”
Wendy drops her cookie (which even to Seulgi is a very dramatic gesture) and looks at Seulgi,
perplexed. “What are you talking about? Ballet is totally your thing!”
“Well, not recently…” Seulgi begins to tell her about how she started ballet when she was 3 and all
the classes her mum had sent her to. The divorce and her dad’s migration to the States only meant
that Seulgi has only had her mum for all those years she does ballet.
The separation from her mum only meant that she no longer has any reason to continue ballet.
“Nonsense,” Wendy says when Seulgi stops talking. “Anyone can see that the reason you do ballet is
because you love it, and not because you’re living your mum’s dream.”
Perhaps that’s what Seulgi finds interesting about the girl who surprises her with her electric blue
hair - she’s too blunt for god’s sake.
“Maybe, what you need is a slight derail to get you back on track.”
And that is how Seulgi finds herself in Wendy’s High School dance club.
---
“Why do I have to be in this too?” Jinyoung asks when they are navigating their way around Wendy’s
High School.
“Because you’re my Pas de Deux partner?” Seulgi tries as she is practically dragging Jinyoung by the
arm.
She laughs when Jinyoung scoffs. “That’s not a good enough reason.”
“You’re my only one true friend in school and I want you to do this with me,” she says.
They reach the door of the room which Wendy has told Seulgi to go to the other day. Jinyoung is still
adamant but he is slightly supportive now. “Fine, I’ll do it. But only because it’s for you.”
Seulgi grins at his reply and pushes the door open. She is greeted with the thumping of the bass
coming from the stereo and a mess of boys and girls cheering and hollering. They seem to be
surrounding a boy who is doing flips and charismatically dancing to the beat.
The boy does a somersault and lands on his knee right in front of Jinyoung, making the latter jump.
The boy smirks and he radiates charisma - Seulgi recognises him as one of Wendy’s peculiar friends
whom she has over during the weekends.
“Alright, Jackson. We don’t have to intimidate our guests,” a deep voice says. The crowd of boys and
girls part and a red-haired boy walks towards Seulgi and Jinyoung. Despite his deep voice, he has a
baby face which seems to fit the red hair quite well. “You must be Wendy’s friend who does ballet.”
“Ah, the International School ballerinas,” the boy who landed the flip earlier, Jackson, says albeit
mockingly, “Mark give them a proper greeting and get on your hands and knees now.”
The other dancers in the room snicker at the sarcasm behind the comment. The red-haired boy,
Mark, however is not pleased as he glares at Jackson before holding out his hand. “I’m Mark. It’s nice
to meet you.”
Seulgi doesn’t really appreciate Jackson’s comment but before she can take Mark’s hand and shake
it, Jinyoung has beaten her to it. “Jinyoung and Seulgi. It’s nice to meet you too, Mark. And thanks
for the greeting, Jackson. Not many guys willingly go on their knees for ballerinas.”
Jinyoung’s comeback has the whole room hooting with laughter - even Mark is chuckling. Jackson is
biting back a curse but he smiles all the same.
The dance team in Wendy’s school has entered a dance competition and they really need the money
for the funding of their clubroom. There also seems to be a rivalry between them and another high
school in the other neighbourhood. Wendy suggest that Seulgi try out a different type of dancing
besides ballet.
Despite only having done ballet, Seulgi catches on the vibe of hip-hop and jazz very quickly. Mark
praises her and Jinyoung on being quick to catch on and she gets along with the other dancers quite
well.
There’s a bubbly girl named Joy who has bright peach hair who is the first person to talk to her.
Another girl who shyly greets Seulgi is Irene who is quiet yet charming. Always tagging behind Joy is
a tall lanky boy named Junhong and another bright personality who catches Seulgi’s eye other than
Jackson is Taehyung. There are many other dancers in the team but perhaps Jinyoung is better at
making friends than she is.
Seulgi is surprised that Wendy is not part of the dance team. She sounded very enthusiastic when
she talked about the competition. “Ah, Wendy’s in choir,” Mark says when Seulgi asks him about it.
“She has a really nice voice. You should listen to her sing.”
Apparently, Seulgi has listened to Wendy sing before. She sometimes hear her practicing in her room
at night with her window open. Wendy has the kind of voice you can fall asleep to, melodious and
sweet though she is not sure how to feel about the way Mark seems to swoon when he talks about
Wendy.
Seulgi is relieved when Wendy comes to visit the dance room in the afternoon. “Told you it’ll make
you feel good,” Wendy says.
And she has to agree that Wendy is right about what Seulgi needs. “You didn’t tell me that you
weren’t part of the team,” Seulgi chides her lightly.
“You didn’t ask!” Wendy teases, “And you wouldn’t join if I told you so.”
That Seulgi agrees to as well. She lightly bumps her hip against Wendy’s when a new song starts to
play on the stereo. Wendy laughs and slightly moves to the beat, urging Seulgi to dance along. Seulgi
shakes along with her and the both of them laugh as they start to go a bit offbeat.
Wendy wears happiness like a crown on her head and Seulgi thinks she looks beautiful with the
electric blue in her hair. It feels like a dream being like this and she is brought back to reality when
an arm pulls Wendy and the item of her dreams laughs as she finds herself in Mark’s arms.
Seulgi is reminded that reality is cruel and that perhaps she should keep miracles to work in movies
and fiction. She has long learned to ignore the ache in her chest.
---
The team passes the preliminaries with ease and subsequently the quarter-finals as well, advancing
next to the semi-finals.
Seulgi and Jinyoung have a ballet evaluation that week and are practicing their Pas de Deux at their
school’s dance studio. Seulgi has on her rose leotard today and Jinyoung is once again fluid and
beautiful so the both of them do not have any problems until the end of the routine.
“How do you think we’re going to do for the evaluation?” Jinyoung asks Seulgi as he is stretching
with the resistance band.
“We’re going to get high marks because the evaluator is going to have a good stare at your ass,”
Seulgi replies playfully, “Perhaps higher if it’s a lady.”
Jinyoung laughs. “I’d blow a kiss if it’s a guy.”
It goes without saying that both Seulgi and Jinyoung do not get too personal about themselves with
each other but that day they do not care about crossing any lines. Seulgi isn’t surprised to find out
that Jinyoung is queer too. Well, he did say something in between the lines of ‘Mark’s cute’
and ‘If only’.
“You like Wendy, don’t you?” Jinyoung asks. Seulgi does a double take and Jinyoung is grinning, the
corners of his lips curled making him look like a cat.
Seulgi laughs bitterly. “It’s hopeless.” And she really believes that it is. Wendy has Mark and that is
just how things work, even across the globe.
There is a silent moment between the two before Jinyoung decides to break it. “The other day,” he
begins, “Why did you storm out of the room?”
Of course, Jinyoung would ask that question. He’s only been holding it back to find the right time to
do so. “I didn’t like how I looked in the mirror,” she replies honestly.
Seulgi could’ve explained more but Jinyoung doesn’t press further. She has been thinking about
what to say if Jinyoung had asked but the words just didn’t come out.
It’s all because of the leotard. She didn’t ask for it but her mum had given it to her at the airport
before she took the flight. Seulgi remembers crying for a good hour on the plane. Why did her mum
had to make it so difficult? Why did she had to show that she still loves her?
She knows that her mum didn’t send her to the States just because of the school opportunity. She
remembers coming out to her mum and how she had reacted by getting up and going into her room,
closing the door behind her. Her mum had always been strongly against queer people being a
devoted Christian. It just isn’t normal, she would say, and your father is not normal
too.
Seulgi didn’t know what she was thinking when she decided to tell her mum that she likes girls. Her
mum gave her the silent treatment for a few days until the day she had to leave South Korea. Seulgi
had thought that her mum really hated her but she gave her the leotard and told her to keep doing
the things she loves passionately.
Her mum, who had always hated the one thing her daughter is, told her that she loves her.
Maybe Seulgi wasn’t ready for her mum to accept her so readily, hence her reaction. She has only
exchanged e-mails with her mum since she’s been living in the States. She is afraid of how her mum
would sound like if she were to call.
Jinyoung reaches out for Seulgi’s hand and gently squeezes it. Her Pas de Deux partner smiles when
she looks at him imploringly.
It may be scary but perhaps it’s time for her to start facing reality.
(The person behind the evaluation is a man and true to his words, Jinyoung blows a kiss. Their marks
are one of the highest in the entire cohort.)
---
“Grand Finals!” Wendy cheers as they are walking back home from the competition venue.
It was a tough battle but Mark managed to step up their game by landing his triple flip and Junhong
and Joy nailed a flawless jazz routine. They will be meeting the rivaling High School in the Grand
Finals next week.
“It was really cool when you and Jinyoung did that jump and twirl move,” Wendy says. She is really
the most excited out of all of them, even though she is just a spectator in the audience.
Seulgi giggles. “We did that for our recent evaluation.”
“Oh yeah! How did it go?”
“It went great. We got a really high score so I guess we might be dancing lead for the next recital.”
Wendy grins and lightly bumps shoulders with Seulgi. “And you said that ballet wasn’t your thing.”
Seulgi tries to hide her smile. “Or it could be that Jinyoung managed to charm our evaluator.”
“Or it could be that you’re awesome at ballet!”
Seulgi looks up and catches Wendy looking at her with a wide smile on her face. “I’m serious. You’re
great at it,” Wendy says.
She scoffs and bumps into Wendy but secretly she is pleased. The lights in her living room are on
when they reach the front of Seulgi’s house. Her dad must be home.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to come over?” Wendy asks when they are at the front door.
“He thinks you’re a darling,” Seulgi replies, “And he loves your cookies.”
“Man, I should’ve ran back home to get some.”
Seulgi laughs and pushes the door open. Her dad is sitting in the living room with another man Seulgi
doesn’t recognise. There is cake on the coffee table and Seulgi immediately guesses that this is the
man her dad has been dating.
“Oh,” her dad says when he sees her and Wendy.
“Oh,” Seulgi says with a smile when she looks at her dad and his guest.
“Joonmyun,” her dad gestures to the man he brought home. “This is my daughter Seulgi and our
neighbour Wendy.”
“Hello,” Joonmyun says and Seulgi decides that she likes him already because of how her dad looks
at him.
After sending Wendy to her room, Seulgi quickly goes to the kitchen where her dad is taking out
cakes. “He’s really nice,” she comments as she takes drinks for herself and Wendy.
“He really wanted to meet you,” her dad says, “Bought you a cake and everything.”
Seulgi giggles when her dad hands her the sliced cake Joonmyun bought. “That’s really nice of him.
Tell him I said thanks.”
Her dad gives her a thumbs up and Seulgi picks up the drinks and cake on a tray before heading
upstairs to her room. She suddenly remembers something and quickly goes back down. Her dad is
surprised when he catches her in a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you, dad,” she whispers.
Her dad smiles, holding her close. When she pulls away, she tiptoes to peck him on the cheek and
goes back upstairs again.
"She’s just as nice as you said she would be, Kris,” Seulgi hears Joonmyun tell her dad.
Wendy thinks that it’s cute how Seulgi’s dad had brought over his boyfriend for dinner. “He has
really good taste with the cake too,” Wendy comments.
They are in Seulgi’s room eating cake on the carpet. Seulgi has switched on the small TV and they are
watching some cartoon that’s playing. “I never really got to hear you sing,” Seulgi says out of the
blue.
Wendy snorts. “You must’ve heard the mini concerts. Our rooms are practically right next to each
other’s.”
Seulgi laughs. “But I’ve never really heard you singing in front of me. It’s not fair, you’ve seen me
dance.”
“Okay, fine,” Wendy chuckles and she scoots closer to Seulgi. The latter pulls her shins to her chest
and rests her chin on her knees as she looks at Wendy. “Don’t look! Close your eyes!” Wendy insists,
her cheeks turning red. Seulgi giggles and obliges.
She doesn’t expect Wendy to sound so much better up close. Even with her eyes closed, Seulgi can
still picture Wendy with her electric blue hair, her pretty mouth forming the lyrics. She feels Wendy’s
hand sneak into hers, intertwining their fingers together. Each line made Seulgi braver and she finds
herself leaning in.
Then Wendy’s voice gradually gets softer and when Seulgi opens her eyes, Wendy’s face is right in
front of hers, looking at her. This is a dream, Seulgi thinks and Wendy further blurs the line
between dream and reality by leaning in to kiss her lips.
Seulgi widens her eyes in surprise. This part of the dream only ever happens when she is asleep.
Wendy is biting her lip and her cheeks are betraying her by blushing red underneath the dim light.
“You kissed me,” Seulgi says, as if trying to grasp the situation.
“I kissed you,” Wendy confirms.
And then Seulgi bursts into laughter, confusing Wendy even further. “I thought I would be the one
who had to kiss you first.”
“I guess I beat you to it.” Wendy grins and kisses Seulgi again. Seulgi readily kisses back this time,
finding the way Wendy tilts her head to make way for her endearing.
“I thought you’re dating Mark,” Seulgi confesses when they pull away to catch their breaths.
Wendy giggles. “Mark kinda doesn’t date girls. He has a crush on someone.”
Seulgi laughs at that. “No way! Half of the girls who came to watch us dance would totally date
Mark. They would be disappointed.”
“Well, they still have a chance with Jackson,” Wendy chuckles. She squeezes Seulgi’s hand and the
latter realises that their fingers are still intertwined. This is probably what she couldn’t have back in
South Korea, where she was told that it isn’t a norm and that it is unacceptable.
“I like you,” Wendy says quietly and Seulgi nearly doesn’t hear it against the sound of her heart
beating too quickly in her chest.
Perhaps it’s still not a norm here too but Seulgi thinks that as long as it’s Wendy, she doesn’t mind
not being the normal one for once.
--
The Grand Finals has everyone in a nervous wreck. The stage for the final dance-out is the biggest
stage that the dance team has ever been on and the crowd is one of the largest in the whole
competition. Jackson has been chatting the ear of the next person standing next to him off
(unfortunately Junhong) and Joy goes through bottles and bottles of water. The leading pair for this
round, Irene and Taehyung, is probably off practicing somewhere quiet so as to perfect their routine.
Even Seulgi who has danced for numerous recitals finds herself completely nervous and she thinks
she saw Jinyoung at a corner stretching dutifully as if it is a ballet recital. She slips out of the hectic
backstage and sits at the steps where it is less hectic and gives her more space to think.
“Hey.” Seulgi looks up at the sound of Mark’s voice as the red-haired boy walks up to her. It’s been
two weeks since Wendy confessed to Seulgi and even though they haven’t gone public, she has a
feeling that Mark knows about the two of them.
“Hi,” Seulgi replies, scooting over to make room for Mark on the steps. Mark smiles and settles down
next to her, pulling his knees to his chest.
“I just want to say thanks for helping us out in this competition,” he begins. “We wouldn’t have
gotten this far without you and Jinyoung.”
“Not bad for a bunch of International School ballerinas huh?” Seulgi says and Mark chuckles.
“So you’ll be back to doing ballet when this is over?” Mark asks.
Seulgi keeps quiet for a while as she thinks. Dancing with Mark and his team in the competition has
been a great experience for her and she would be lying if she were to say that she doesn’t enjoy it
one bit. Despite coming from different backgrounds, the dance team all have one thing in common
which is their passion for dance.
It’s fun to dance with the team. The excitement gets her feet moving and sets her nerves on an
exhilarating overdrive. Every move throws away her worries and sometimes it makes her forget
about the world outside the tune and beat.
Seulgi realises that she feels the same way doing ballet. Maybe her mother’s role in her doing ballet
is just to fuel her passion for it. Maybe she isn’t doing it for the sake of her mother but for her own
self.
Maybe she really does love ballet.
She turns to Mark with a wordless smile and he seems to understand. “Maybe you can come to
watch our recitals,” Seulgi suggests. “Jinyoung would be elated to see you.”
Mark sputters as he is taking a drink and Seulgi chortles. “Shut up!” Mark groans, throwing water
into Seulgi’s direction while she laughs and backs away.
The final moments before the revelation of the winner are a blur. All Seulgi knows is that the
spotlight is shone on them and suddenly confetti is falling like rain. Joy is squealing excitedly into her
ear, “We won!” and Mark is on Jackson’s shoulders as he holds up the trophy high for everyone to
see. The crowd is cheering madly and it’s too bright but Seulgi thinks she may have seen Taehyung
kissing Irene under the confetti rain.
Jinyoung is signaling her to go backstage and Seulgi is confused but suddenly she is pulled behind the
curtains into Wendy’s arms and their lips collide. The sound of the crowd cheering can still be heard
from behind the curtain but Seulgi shuts it all out and focuses on her fingers in Wendy’s electric blue
hair and this moment alone.
They pull away to catch their breath with their foreheads resting on each other’s and Wendy
whispers just loud enough for Seulgi alone to hear, “Congratulations on finding what you were
looking for.”
--
Seulgi has on the dark blue leotard today with the floral lace detail at the back. It was a gift from her
mother before she left Korea to attend the International School of Dance. She would’ve used her
rose leotard but she purposely left it in the wash. Wendy thinks she looks good in it (“You think I
look good in anything”).
The dressing room is busy with dancers getting their makeup and outfits proper before getting on
stage. “30 minutes till the show starts!” the stage director shouts to the room. “You heard him,”
Jinyoung says and Seulgi nods before slipping out of the room unnoticed.
She is met with Wendy and Mark at the hallway. Seulgi slips her hand into Wendy’s and lightly squeezes it. “Jinyoung’s in the dressing room,” Seulgi informs Mark, who grins and tells her ‘good
luck’ before heading to said direction. Wendy looks at her. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Seulgi nods as she takes out her phone, scrolling through her contacts. She has been thinking about
this for a while and never has she ever been so sure about it. She decides that she is no longer going
to run away from reality and will face up to it no matter how unexpected it can be.
Seulgi finds her mother’s number and looks at Wendy, who smiles and mouths Go for it.
Taking a deep breath, Seulgi presses the call button and puts the phone to her ear. One ring, two
rings and suddenly there is someone at the other line.
“Hello?”
title: and darling don't you know? (it gets harder to breathe)
pairing/focus: Seulgi/Wendy , Seulgi-centric
rating: pg-13
wordcount: 5,302
warnings: slight mentions of homophobia
summary: dance!au Seulgi left South Korea to pursue someone's dream, or so she thought.
author's note: i had many difficulties when writing this piece thus i feel that it's not one of the best i've written. i truly apologize to the one who requested this prompt. i hope it fulfills what you're looking for ; ;
The dance studios at the East block of the school is vacant at this time of the day. Most students
prefer using the studios at the West block, where the air conditioning works to make up for the
afternoon heat. Despite the lack of air conditioning, Seulgi makes use of a room in the East block
anyway. She rather that than the packed dance studios at the other block.
Usually she would be the first to reach the studio but when she is about to take out the keys she was
given, she finds that the door is already unlocked. Seulgi already hears music playing in the room and
she pushes the door open to see Jinyoung doing one of his own routines.
Jinyoung seems to have noticed her going in as he stops in the middle of a pose and smiles at her.
“You’re early today,” Seulgi comments as she puts down her things next to Jinyoung’s.
“My classes ended early today,” Jinyoung says, walking over to turn off the music.
Seulgi knew Jinyoung from Advanced Ballet. There aren’t many boys who took ballet, most of them
do b-boy or modern dance. Among the Asian guys of the school, Jinyoung is pretty much the only
one who took ballet. He is not a person to be reckoned with, however. There is a reason why he is
one of the few guys in Advanced Ballet anyway.
Taking off her Jordans, Seulgi slips into her ballet shoes which she has long broken into. She has
been doing ballet since she was 3 and she can’t remember a part of her life without it. All her life,
this is what she has been doing and she can’t see herself doing anything else.
“So which routine are we doing today?” Jinyoung asks, helping her tie the ribbons up her calves.
“The nutcracker?” Seulgi suggests and Jinyoung nods, leaning towards the laptop to change the
music.
As Jinyoung looks for the song in his playlist, Seulgi warms up by doing a few stretches. She puts her
hair up in a bun and takes a deep breath as she shrugs off her sweater, revealing her dark blue
leotard with the floral lace detail at the back. It was a gift from her mother before she left Korea to
attend this school. She would’ve used her rose leotard which she is more comfortable with but she
left it in the wash this morning.
The leotard her mother gave her doesn’t feel good on her skin.
When the music starts playing and Jinyoung holds out his hand towards her, Seulgi starts the first
pose. Out of all the routines she has learned, the Pas de Deux ones are probably the most
challenging for her, mainly because it requires chemistry and trust between the two dancers. Her
past partners were horrible and many a times has she found herself on the floor because of them.
Pointe. Twirl. Lift. Pose.
Jinyoung is probably the best out of all of them. For starters, he has never dropped her not even
once.
Her partner places his hands on her waist as she stands on her pointe and twirls again for the
routine. All the while, Seulgi’s eyes have been on the mirror. The mirror has perhaps been her
mentor for as long as she has been dancing. She has been taught to point out her own mistakes;
ballet is all about the right angles and precision.
As they carry on with the routine, she only finds more and more mistakes in her poses. Either the
degree of her turn is off, or her back is not straightened.
The leotard doesn’t feel good on her skin.
As compared to how beautiful and fluid Jinyoung moves, Seulgi pales in comparison.
It’s the leotard.
Her distress seems to show in her face as Jinyoung catches it in the mirror. “You’re doing fine,” he
assures her.
Despite Jinyoung’s words, the distress gnaws at Seulgi’s focus and makes her stumble at a pose.
Fortunately, Jinyoung is quick to catch her before she falls to the floor. “Woah, are you alright?”
Why did she have to give her the leotard?
Seulgi is so mad that she cannot look at herself in the mirror.
This is just not right.
---
When Seulgi reaches home she heads straight towards the laundry room and takes her rose leotard,
chucking the dark blue one deep inside a closet of cleaning equipment. She had ran out of the studio
just to change out of her leotard and left a very confused Jinyoung to wonder about her sudden
outburst.
Seulgi is thankful that her dad doesn’t get home until dinner or he would have seen her hide her
mum’s gift out of sight. She really doesn’t feel like talking about it. She never really tells her dad
anything about her mum since their divorce when she was 5.
Dinner is a whole new affair altogether. Her dad brings home pasta and some cakes from the café
near his workplace. Seulgi is surprised when she sees the cakes. Her dad is definitely not the type for
sweet treats. He must have had someone who went there with him, or more specifically a date. She
knows from the way he is just poking his plate of pasta instead of eating.
“So who is it, dad?” she asks her dad with a small smirk.
“Who who?” her dad replies.
Seulgi giggles. “The guy you’re dating. Is he a co-worker? Or perhaps he was a client turned love
interest? That just sounds more romantic.”
Her dad chuckles at her pondering. Even though Seulgi has been under her dad’s roof for just half a
year, there has never really been an awkward moment between them, especially when it comes to
her dad’s sexuality.
Seulgi doesn’t mind that her dad’s gay or that was what caused the divorce in the first place.
Sometimes her dad sucks at being a dad because he wasn’t the one who brought her up, but Seulgi
loves him all the same.
“How’s school?” her dad asks, trying to steer the conversation to another direction.
“It was okay.”
“And ballet?”
Seulgi stops eating to think on what to say. Despite it being unsaid, she knows that her mum is giving
her dad pressure when it comes to her and ballet. He doesn’t mind, if anything he is all for her living
with him to go to the International School of Dance here in the States. She knows that what her dad
would like to see her do in the future is something she loves.
“I…” she begins, “I don’t think I want to do ballet anymore, dad.”
Her dad stops poking at his plate and looks at her. “What do you mean? You love ballet.”
“I don’t,” Seulgi says, “It’s just something mum wants me to do.”
Her dad sighs. “You know it’s different when you’re doing things for someone else and when you’re
doing things for yourself. You can’t blame your mother for making you love ballet.”
“You don’t even know what happened between me and her,” Seulgi says, a bit agitated and she
suddenly regrets it when she sees the look on her dad’s face.
Seulgi knows that her dad sometimes feel bad for not being there when she was growing up.
However, she has never blamed him for how critical her mum can get.
“I- I didn’t mean it that way-”
Her dad shakes his head and gets up, taking his plate with him. Seulgi suddenly doesn’t feel like
eating anymore. She picks up her plate as well and follows her dad to the kitchen. She is met by his
back, her dad hunched over the sink.
Seulgi goes over and wraps her arms around him. “I’m sorry. You’re not a terrible dad,” she whispers
to his back. “You know I love you, right?”
It takes a while before her dad turns around and hugs her back. “And you know your mother’s not a
terrible mother too, right?”
“You don’t have to stop doing the things you love just because it’s the one thing you share with your
mother.”
---
After dinner, Seulgi goes into her room and switches on the radio, turning up the volume till high. Ed
Sheeran’s Sing plays and Seulgi sways her hips to the rhythm as she changes out of her clothes. Her
phone pings in the middle of the song and Seulgi struts as she makes her way to her bed from the
closet.
From: Wendy
Emergency dance party?
From: Wendy
Alright, I’ll get the ice-cream and cookies.
Seulgi smiles at the text and leans over to draw the curtains. She is greeted with a smiling Wendy
waving from the opposing window.
They sit on the carpet as they eat the cookies and ice-cream. Wendy was in the middle of homework
and as always, decided to come over after ditching her priorities. She goes to the High School near
Seulgi’s International School and lives just next door.
Seulgi remembers the first time she met Wendy after moving in with her dad. She surprised Seulgi as
she has shocking electric blue at the tips of her hair. She also has peculiar friends who hangs out at
her house during the weekends. Her dad had said that she’s a darling but Seulgi didn’t really get to
talk to her because she was always practicing at the studio. They only managed to get closer when
Wendy came over during term break with cookies. A visit turned into two visits and now she comes
over at a regular basis.
“So what was the emergency dance party for?” Wendy asks, focused on getting ice-cream in
between two cookies.
“Well, just…” Seulgi still doesn’t feel like talking about it but sitting with Wendy just made her spill
everything. “I don’t think ballet is my thing anymore.”
Wendy drops her cookie (which even to Seulgi is a very dramatic gesture) and looks at Seulgi,
perplexed. “What are you talking about? Ballet is totally your thing!”
“Well, not recently…” Seulgi begins to tell her about how she started ballet when she was 3 and all
the classes her mum had sent her to. The divorce and her dad’s migration to the States only meant
that Seulgi has only had her mum for all those years she does ballet.
The separation from her mum only meant that she no longer has any reason to continue ballet.
“Nonsense,” Wendy says when Seulgi stops talking. “Anyone can see that the reason you do ballet is
because you love it, and not because you’re living your mum’s dream.”
Perhaps that’s what Seulgi finds interesting about the girl who surprises her with her electric blue
hair - she’s too blunt for god’s sake.
“Maybe, what you need is a slight derail to get you back on track.”
And that is how Seulgi finds herself in Wendy’s High School dance club.
---
“Why do I have to be in this too?” Jinyoung asks when they are navigating their way around Wendy’s
High School.
“Because you’re my Pas de Deux partner?” Seulgi tries as she is practically dragging Jinyoung by the
arm.
She laughs when Jinyoung scoffs. “That’s not a good enough reason.”
“You’re my only one true friend in school and I want you to do this with me,” she says.
They reach the door of the room which Wendy has told Seulgi to go to the other day. Jinyoung is still
adamant but he is slightly supportive now. “Fine, I’ll do it. But only because it’s for you.”
Seulgi grins at his reply and pushes the door open. She is greeted with the thumping of the bass
coming from the stereo and a mess of boys and girls cheering and hollering. They seem to be
surrounding a boy who is doing flips and charismatically dancing to the beat.
The boy does a somersault and lands on his knee right in front of Jinyoung, making the latter jump.
The boy smirks and he radiates charisma - Seulgi recognises him as one of Wendy’s peculiar friends
whom she has over during the weekends.
“Alright, Jackson. We don’t have to intimidate our guests,” a deep voice says. The crowd of boys and
girls part and a red-haired boy walks towards Seulgi and Jinyoung. Despite his deep voice, he has a
baby face which seems to fit the red hair quite well. “You must be Wendy’s friend who does ballet.”
“Ah, the International School ballerinas,” the boy who landed the flip earlier, Jackson, says albeit
mockingly, “Mark give them a proper greeting and get on your hands and knees now.”
The other dancers in the room snicker at the sarcasm behind the comment. The red-haired boy,
Mark, however is not pleased as he glares at Jackson before holding out his hand. “I’m Mark. It’s nice
to meet you.”
Seulgi doesn’t really appreciate Jackson’s comment but before she can take Mark’s hand and shake
it, Jinyoung has beaten her to it. “Jinyoung and Seulgi. It’s nice to meet you too, Mark. And thanks
for the greeting, Jackson. Not many guys willingly go on their knees for ballerinas.”
Jinyoung’s comeback has the whole room hooting with laughter - even Mark is chuckling. Jackson is
biting back a curse but he smiles all the same.
The dance team in Wendy’s school has entered a dance competition and they really need the money
for the funding of their clubroom. There also seems to be a rivalry between them and another high
school in the other neighbourhood. Wendy suggest that Seulgi try out a different type of dancing
besides ballet.
Despite only having done ballet, Seulgi catches on the vibe of hip-hop and jazz very quickly. Mark
praises her and Jinyoung on being quick to catch on and she gets along with the other dancers quite
well.
There’s a bubbly girl named Joy who has bright peach hair who is the first person to talk to her.
Another girl who shyly greets Seulgi is Irene who is quiet yet charming. Always tagging behind Joy is
a tall lanky boy named Junhong and another bright personality who catches Seulgi’s eye other than
Jackson is Taehyung. There are many other dancers in the team but perhaps Jinyoung is better at
making friends than she is.
Seulgi is surprised that Wendy is not part of the dance team. She sounded very enthusiastic when
she talked about the competition. “Ah, Wendy’s in choir,” Mark says when Seulgi asks him about it.
“She has a really nice voice. You should listen to her sing.”
Apparently, Seulgi has listened to Wendy sing before. She sometimes hear her practicing in her room
at night with her window open. Wendy has the kind of voice you can fall asleep to, melodious and
sweet though she is not sure how to feel about the way Mark seems to swoon when he talks about
Wendy.
Seulgi is relieved when Wendy comes to visit the dance room in the afternoon. “Told you it’ll make
you feel good,” Wendy says.
And she has to agree that Wendy is right about what Seulgi needs. “You didn’t tell me that you
weren’t part of the team,” Seulgi chides her lightly.
“You didn’t ask!” Wendy teases, “And you wouldn’t join if I told you so.”
That Seulgi agrees to as well. She lightly bumps her hip against Wendy’s when a new song starts to
play on the stereo. Wendy laughs and slightly moves to the beat, urging Seulgi to dance along. Seulgi
shakes along with her and the both of them laugh as they start to go a bit offbeat.
Wendy wears happiness like a crown on her head and Seulgi thinks she looks beautiful with the
electric blue in her hair. It feels like a dream being like this and she is brought back to reality when
an arm pulls Wendy and the item of her dreams laughs as she finds herself in Mark’s arms.
Seulgi is reminded that reality is cruel and that perhaps she should keep miracles to work in movies
and fiction. She has long learned to ignore the ache in her chest.
---
The team passes the preliminaries with ease and subsequently the quarter-finals as well, advancing
next to the semi-finals.
Seulgi and Jinyoung have a ballet evaluation that week and are practicing their Pas de Deux at their
school’s dance studio. Seulgi has on her rose leotard today and Jinyoung is once again fluid and
beautiful so the both of them do not have any problems until the end of the routine.
“How do you think we’re going to do for the evaluation?” Jinyoung asks Seulgi as he is stretching
with the resistance band.
“We’re going to get high marks because the evaluator is going to have a good stare at your ass,”
Seulgi replies playfully, “Perhaps higher if it’s a lady.”
Jinyoung laughs. “I’d blow a kiss if it’s a guy.”
It goes without saying that both Seulgi and Jinyoung do not get too personal about themselves with
each other but that day they do not care about crossing any lines. Seulgi isn’t surprised to find out
that Jinyoung is queer too. Well, he did say something in between the lines of ‘Mark’s cute’
and ‘If only’.
“You like Wendy, don’t you?” Jinyoung asks. Seulgi does a double take and Jinyoung is grinning, the
corners of his lips curled making him look like a cat.
Seulgi laughs bitterly. “It’s hopeless.” And she really believes that it is. Wendy has Mark and that is
just how things work, even across the globe.
There is a silent moment between the two before Jinyoung decides to break it. “The other day,” he
begins, “Why did you storm out of the room?”
Of course, Jinyoung would ask that question. He’s only been holding it back to find the right time to
do so. “I didn’t like how I looked in the mirror,” she replies honestly.
Seulgi could’ve explained more but Jinyoung doesn’t press further. She has been thinking about
what to say if Jinyoung had asked but the words just didn’t come out.
It’s all because of the leotard. She didn’t ask for it but her mum had given it to her at the airport
before she took the flight. Seulgi remembers crying for a good hour on the plane. Why did her mum
had to make it so difficult? Why did she had to show that she still loves her?
She knows that her mum didn’t send her to the States just because of the school opportunity. She
remembers coming out to her mum and how she had reacted by getting up and going into her room,
closing the door behind her. Her mum had always been strongly against queer people being a
devoted Christian. It just isn’t normal, she would say, and your father is not normal
too.
Seulgi didn’t know what she was thinking when she decided to tell her mum that she likes girls. Her
mum gave her the silent treatment for a few days until the day she had to leave South Korea. Seulgi
had thought that her mum really hated her but she gave her the leotard and told her to keep doing
the things she loves passionately.
Her mum, who had always hated the one thing her daughter is, told her that she loves her.
Maybe Seulgi wasn’t ready for her mum to accept her so readily, hence her reaction. She has only
exchanged e-mails with her mum since she’s been living in the States. She is afraid of how her mum
would sound like if she were to call.
Jinyoung reaches out for Seulgi’s hand and gently squeezes it. Her Pas de Deux partner smiles when
she looks at him imploringly.
It may be scary but perhaps it’s time for her to start facing reality.
(The person behind the evaluation is a man and true to his words, Jinyoung blows a kiss. Their marks
are one of the highest in the entire cohort.)
---
“Grand Finals!” Wendy cheers as they are walking back home from the competition venue.
It was a tough battle but Mark managed to step up their game by landing his triple flip and Junhong
and Joy nailed a flawless jazz routine. They will be meeting the rivaling High School in the Grand
Finals next week.
“It was really cool when you and Jinyoung did that jump and twirl move,” Wendy says. She is really
the most excited out of all of them, even though she is just a spectator in the audience.
Seulgi giggles. “We did that for our recent evaluation.”
“Oh yeah! How did it go?”
“It went great. We got a really high score so I guess we might be dancing lead for the next recital.”
Wendy grins and lightly bumps shoulders with Seulgi. “And you said that ballet wasn’t your thing.”
Seulgi tries to hide her smile. “Or it could be that Jinyoung managed to charm our evaluator.”
“Or it could be that you’re awesome at ballet!”
Seulgi looks up and catches Wendy looking at her with a wide smile on her face. “I’m serious. You’re
great at it,” Wendy says.
She scoffs and bumps into Wendy but secretly she is pleased. The lights in her living room are on
when they reach the front of Seulgi’s house. Her dad must be home.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to come over?” Wendy asks when they are at the front door.
“He thinks you’re a darling,” Seulgi replies, “And he loves your cookies.”
“Man, I should’ve ran back home to get some.”
Seulgi laughs and pushes the door open. Her dad is sitting in the living room with another man Seulgi
doesn’t recognise. There is cake on the coffee table and Seulgi immediately guesses that this is the
man her dad has been dating.
“Oh,” her dad says when he sees her and Wendy.
“Oh,” Seulgi says with a smile when she looks at her dad and his guest.
“Joonmyun,” her dad gestures to the man he brought home. “This is my daughter Seulgi and our
neighbour Wendy.”
“Hello,” Joonmyun says and Seulgi decides that she likes him already because of how her dad looks
at him.
After sending Wendy to her room, Seulgi quickly goes to the kitchen where her dad is taking out
cakes. “He’s really nice,” she comments as she takes drinks for herself and Wendy.
“He really wanted to meet you,” her dad says, “Bought you a cake and everything.”
Seulgi giggles when her dad hands her the sliced cake Joonmyun bought. “That’s really nice of him.
Tell him I said thanks.”
Her dad gives her a thumbs up and Seulgi picks up the drinks and cake on a tray before heading
upstairs to her room. She suddenly remembers something and quickly goes back down. Her dad is
surprised when he catches her in a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you, dad,” she whispers.
Her dad smiles, holding her close. When she pulls away, she tiptoes to peck him on the cheek and
goes back upstairs again.
"She’s just as nice as you said she would be, Kris,” Seulgi hears Joonmyun tell her dad.
Wendy thinks that it’s cute how Seulgi’s dad had brought over his boyfriend for dinner. “He has
really good taste with the cake too,” Wendy comments.
They are in Seulgi’s room eating cake on the carpet. Seulgi has switched on the small TV and they are
watching some cartoon that’s playing. “I never really got to hear you sing,” Seulgi says out of the
blue.
Wendy snorts. “You must’ve heard the mini concerts. Our rooms are practically right next to each
other’s.”
Seulgi laughs. “But I’ve never really heard you singing in front of me. It’s not fair, you’ve seen me
dance.”
“Okay, fine,” Wendy chuckles and she scoots closer to Seulgi. The latter pulls her shins to her chest
and rests her chin on her knees as she looks at Wendy. “Don’t look! Close your eyes!” Wendy insists,
her cheeks turning red. Seulgi giggles and obliges.
She doesn’t expect Wendy to sound so much better up close. Even with her eyes closed, Seulgi can
still picture Wendy with her electric blue hair, her pretty mouth forming the lyrics. She feels Wendy’s
hand sneak into hers, intertwining their fingers together. Each line made Seulgi braver and she finds
herself leaning in.
Then Wendy’s voice gradually gets softer and when Seulgi opens her eyes, Wendy’s face is right in
front of hers, looking at her. This is a dream, Seulgi thinks and Wendy further blurs the line
between dream and reality by leaning in to kiss her lips.
Seulgi widens her eyes in surprise. This part of the dream only ever happens when she is asleep.
Wendy is biting her lip and her cheeks are betraying her by blushing red underneath the dim light.
“You kissed me,” Seulgi says, as if trying to grasp the situation.
“I kissed you,” Wendy confirms.
And then Seulgi bursts into laughter, confusing Wendy even further. “I thought I would be the one
who had to kiss you first.”
“I guess I beat you to it.” Wendy grins and kisses Seulgi again. Seulgi readily kisses back this time,
finding the way Wendy tilts her head to make way for her endearing.
“I thought you’re dating Mark,” Seulgi confesses when they pull away to catch their breaths.
Wendy giggles. “Mark kinda doesn’t date girls. He has a crush on someone.”
Seulgi laughs at that. “No way! Half of the girls who came to watch us dance would totally date
Mark. They would be disappointed.”
“Well, they still have a chance with Jackson,” Wendy chuckles. She squeezes Seulgi’s hand and the
latter realises that their fingers are still intertwined. This is probably what she couldn’t have back in
South Korea, where she was told that it isn’t a norm and that it is unacceptable.
“I like you,” Wendy says quietly and Seulgi nearly doesn’t hear it against the sound of her heart
beating too quickly in her chest.
Perhaps it’s still not a norm here too but Seulgi thinks that as long as it’s Wendy, she doesn’t mind
not being the normal one for once.
--
The Grand Finals has everyone in a nervous wreck. The stage for the final dance-out is the biggest
stage that the dance team has ever been on and the crowd is one of the largest in the whole
competition. Jackson has been chatting the ear of the next person standing next to him off
(unfortunately Junhong) and Joy goes through bottles and bottles of water. The leading pair for this
round, Irene and Taehyung, is probably off practicing somewhere quiet so as to perfect their routine.
Even Seulgi who has danced for numerous recitals finds herself completely nervous and she thinks
she saw Jinyoung at a corner stretching dutifully as if it is a ballet recital. She slips out of the hectic
backstage and sits at the steps where it is less hectic and gives her more space to think.
“Hey.” Seulgi looks up at the sound of Mark’s voice as the red-haired boy walks up to her. It’s been
two weeks since Wendy confessed to Seulgi and even though they haven’t gone public, she has a
feeling that Mark knows about the two of them.
“Hi,” Seulgi replies, scooting over to make room for Mark on the steps. Mark smiles and settles down
next to her, pulling his knees to his chest.
“I just want to say thanks for helping us out in this competition,” he begins. “We wouldn’t have
gotten this far without you and Jinyoung.”
“Not bad for a bunch of International School ballerinas huh?” Seulgi says and Mark chuckles.
“So you’ll be back to doing ballet when this is over?” Mark asks.
Seulgi keeps quiet for a while as she thinks. Dancing with Mark and his team in the competition has
been a great experience for her and she would be lying if she were to say that she doesn’t enjoy it
one bit. Despite coming from different backgrounds, the dance team all have one thing in common
which is their passion for dance.
It’s fun to dance with the team. The excitement gets her feet moving and sets her nerves on an
exhilarating overdrive. Every move throws away her worries and sometimes it makes her forget
about the world outside the tune and beat.
Seulgi realises that she feels the same way doing ballet. Maybe her mother’s role in her doing ballet
is just to fuel her passion for it. Maybe she isn’t doing it for the sake of her mother but for her own
self.
Maybe she really does love ballet.
She turns to Mark with a wordless smile and he seems to understand. “Maybe you can come to
watch our recitals,” Seulgi suggests. “Jinyoung would be elated to see you.”
Mark sputters as he is taking a drink and Seulgi chortles. “Shut up!” Mark groans, throwing water
into Seulgi’s direction while she laughs and backs away.
The final moments before the revelation of the winner are a blur. All Seulgi knows is that the
spotlight is shone on them and suddenly confetti is falling like rain. Joy is squealing excitedly into her
ear, “We won!” and Mark is on Jackson’s shoulders as he holds up the trophy high for everyone to
see. The crowd is cheering madly and it’s too bright but Seulgi thinks she may have seen Taehyung
kissing Irene under the confetti rain.
Jinyoung is signaling her to go backstage and Seulgi is confused but suddenly she is pulled behind the
curtains into Wendy’s arms and their lips collide. The sound of the crowd cheering can still be heard
from behind the curtain but Seulgi shuts it all out and focuses on her fingers in Wendy’s electric blue
hair and this moment alone.
They pull away to catch their breath with their foreheads resting on each other’s and Wendy
whispers just loud enough for Seulgi alone to hear, “Congratulations on finding what you were
looking for.”
--
Seulgi has on the dark blue leotard today with the floral lace detail at the back. It was a gift from her
mother before she left Korea to attend the International School of Dance. She would’ve used her
rose leotard but she purposely left it in the wash. Wendy thinks she looks good in it (“You think I
look good in anything”).
The dressing room is busy with dancers getting their makeup and outfits proper before getting on
stage. “30 minutes till the show starts!” the stage director shouts to the room. “You heard him,”
Jinyoung says and Seulgi nods before slipping out of the room unnoticed.
She is met with Wendy and Mark at the hallway. Seulgi slips her hand into Wendy’s and lightly squeezes it. “Jinyoung’s in the dressing room,” Seulgi informs Mark, who grins and tells her ‘good
luck’ before heading to said direction. Wendy looks at her. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Seulgi nods as she takes out her phone, scrolling through her contacts. She has been thinking about
this for a while and never has she ever been so sure about it. She decides that she is no longer going
to run away from reality and will face up to it no matter how unexpected it can be.
Seulgi finds her mother’s number and looks at Wendy, who smiles and mouths Go for it.
Taking a deep breath, Seulgi presses the call button and puts the phone to her ear. One ring, two
rings and suddenly there is someone at the other line.
“Hello?”