Your "Dragon"
If you don't know what I mean by that, have a quick glance over my last post: http://redessence.livejournal.com/62406.html
On that note then, what do we know about your 'dragon'? Quick disclaimer: This is a bit of expansion on material from a really cool dude by the name of Tom Terwiliger - he's got the copyright on this stuff. There are six truths about your 'dragon' to consider.
1) Your dragon has no sense of humour.
We have to stop taking things so seriously all the time. We need to relax!
2) There are no 2 dragons that are exactly alike.
My dragon is not at all like yours. A solution that works for me is not likely to work 100% for you. This is not an excuse to pout and say, "Oh woe is me, no one understands how it feels." Rather, it's a mandate to be proactive and recognize that taming your dragon will take effort on your part.
3) Your dragon will show up in a variety of forms.
Some examples of these forms include distractions and fears. Your dragon might involve getting sidetracked, or it could involve fear that prevents us from taking action. We have to start identifying the ways our dragons show up and ultimately our dragons themselves. Once that's done, we can start figuring out how to tame it.
4) Your dragon is a master of persuasion.
That voice (the dragon) we hear in our heads that tells us stuff like "you'll never get there!" "you looked so dumb the last time you did that!" "you're not good enough..." "it's too late to learn..." "you have nothing to offer!" all seems very convincing when we hear it. Some of those 'logical' thoughts become illogical when telling someone else, or even just speaking them out loud.
5) Your dragon means you no harm.
It seems strange to say that our dragons mean us no harm, but the reality is that they merely are reflective of the general human resistance to long-term change, especially when it requires effort.
6) Your dragon has no real power.
In the end, we are the ones who have the final say. Our dragons can talk all they want, but we are in control of our thought life. I don't mean this in the sense that we can control our initial thoughts, but rather what we do with those initial thoughts. Our dragons are merely products of our minds; we have the ability to tame them by taking control over our thought lives and choosing to think differently.
Okay, so now we know more about your dragon. Now, how can you tame it? There are four ways:
1) Forgiveness
The best way I ever had forgiveness explained to me was when someone instead explained unforgiveness to me. They described it as drinking poison and expecting the other person to die! I'll avoid going into deep psychoneuroimmunology for the sake of brevity, but I'll summarize the term by stating that our thought lives, psychological well-being and our physiological well-being are intricately connected. Forgiveness is just one way of taking power away from our dragons. That is to say, by forgiving someone we are releasing that person from holding control over a portion of our thought lives; the dragon has one less source of fuel.
2) Choose your tribe
I could write an entire post on this alone, but will keep it short here. The most important thing to note here is that whether we like it or not, we gradually become more and more like the people that we choose to spend our time with. If you want to be an expert Scrabble player, don't hang out with casual living room players! Find experts and play against them, learn how they think, study, strategize, etc. If they aren't supportive of you, find someone else, or your dragon has fuel for its fire. Finding the right tribe is essential to taming our dragons.
3) Flexibility with your life and your approach to life
You've got to have more than one move! Think of UFC fighters for a second here. The best ones need to master different types of martial arts in order to be exceptionally good at what they do. We are no different!
4) Contribution
By this I mean giving back and supporting others. When we shift focus away from ourselves and instead on empowering other people, we are choosing to prevent our dragons from holding us back. In fact, we are instead helping others to identify and tame their dragons as well!
My current biggest dragon can be summarized in one sentence: "You'll never have a great body or be an exceptional athlete or be a competitive volleyball player." That dragon's being tamed, folks - it will not stop me. How about you? What's your biggest dragon right now? What are some steps that you can take to tame your dragon? Is there anything I can do to help you as you learn how to tame it?
On that note then, what do we know about your 'dragon'? Quick disclaimer: This is a bit of expansion on material from a really cool dude by the name of Tom Terwiliger - he's got the copyright on this stuff. There are six truths about your 'dragon' to consider.
1) Your dragon has no sense of humour.
We have to stop taking things so seriously all the time. We need to relax!
2) There are no 2 dragons that are exactly alike.
My dragon is not at all like yours. A solution that works for me is not likely to work 100% for you. This is not an excuse to pout and say, "Oh woe is me, no one understands how it feels." Rather, it's a mandate to be proactive and recognize that taming your dragon will take effort on your part.
3) Your dragon will show up in a variety of forms.
Some examples of these forms include distractions and fears. Your dragon might involve getting sidetracked, or it could involve fear that prevents us from taking action. We have to start identifying the ways our dragons show up and ultimately our dragons themselves. Once that's done, we can start figuring out how to tame it.
4) Your dragon is a master of persuasion.
That voice (the dragon) we hear in our heads that tells us stuff like "you'll never get there!" "you looked so dumb the last time you did that!" "you're not good enough..." "it's too late to learn..." "you have nothing to offer!" all seems very convincing when we hear it. Some of those 'logical' thoughts become illogical when telling someone else, or even just speaking them out loud.
5) Your dragon means you no harm.
It seems strange to say that our dragons mean us no harm, but the reality is that they merely are reflective of the general human resistance to long-term change, especially when it requires effort.
6) Your dragon has no real power.
In the end, we are the ones who have the final say. Our dragons can talk all they want, but we are in control of our thought life. I don't mean this in the sense that we can control our initial thoughts, but rather what we do with those initial thoughts. Our dragons are merely products of our minds; we have the ability to tame them by taking control over our thought lives and choosing to think differently.
Okay, so now we know more about your dragon. Now, how can you tame it? There are four ways:
1) Forgiveness
The best way I ever had forgiveness explained to me was when someone instead explained unforgiveness to me. They described it as drinking poison and expecting the other person to die! I'll avoid going into deep psychoneuroimmunology for the sake of brevity, but I'll summarize the term by stating that our thought lives, psychological well-being and our physiological well-being are intricately connected. Forgiveness is just one way of taking power away from our dragons. That is to say, by forgiving someone we are releasing that person from holding control over a portion of our thought lives; the dragon has one less source of fuel.
2) Choose your tribe
I could write an entire post on this alone, but will keep it short here. The most important thing to note here is that whether we like it or not, we gradually become more and more like the people that we choose to spend our time with. If you want to be an expert Scrabble player, don't hang out with casual living room players! Find experts and play against them, learn how they think, study, strategize, etc. If they aren't supportive of you, find someone else, or your dragon has fuel for its fire. Finding the right tribe is essential to taming our dragons.
3) Flexibility with your life and your approach to life
You've got to have more than one move! Think of UFC fighters for a second here. The best ones need to master different types of martial arts in order to be exceptionally good at what they do. We are no different!
4) Contribution
By this I mean giving back and supporting others. When we shift focus away from ourselves and instead on empowering other people, we are choosing to prevent our dragons from holding us back. In fact, we are instead helping others to identify and tame their dragons as well!
My current biggest dragon can be summarized in one sentence: "You'll never have a great body or be an exceptional athlete or be a competitive volleyball player." That dragon's being tamed, folks - it will not stop me. How about you? What's your biggest dragon right now? What are some steps that you can take to tame your dragon? Is there anything I can do to help you as you learn how to tame it?