Mental Darwinism.
I'd like to think that the ideas/thoughts/emotions that are most fit to continue to survive in my head are the ones that contribute to a longer life and greater degree of happiness. And I believe I am correct in this.
The previous post was an expression of feelings that had been festering for weeks and months now. I still have to exist with them but fortunately for me I have a knack for making friends with the best people in the whole world.
All my Rocky friends and family, my regular family, my rennies and faire friends and family, and people in my life who cross all of those categories did what they usually do for me on the (thankfully fairly rare) occassion that being down in the dumps gets away from me.
I'm coming to terms with this oxygen tank as a constant companion when not at home. I'm getting used to ways to mitigate the coughing quickly enough so that it doesn't progress to wretching. For example I brought the tank along with me to Friday the 13th Lingirie Night at Rocky. That really was the last bastion of any out-dated image my ego had of my physical appearance/capability. Being able to accept the obvious handicap without feeling like I was under a microscope (though I noticed more than a few folks staring when they thought I wasn't looking) was a nice evolution of experience. Like Lizetta suggested and I knew would be true once I could make that first step - the thing simply becomes another part of who I am. Sadly it doesn't increase my appeal any but I suppose it does lend itself to magnifying one of my favorite personal traits - being non-threatening.
I don't have much to say but I wanted to make sure that I took a minute to thank all the folks who offered support, either in person, electronically, or silently. It's just another reminder that no matter how bad it may get there's something powerful and positive in my life that will never change.
The previous post was an expression of feelings that had been festering for weeks and months now. I still have to exist with them but fortunately for me I have a knack for making friends with the best people in the whole world.
All my Rocky friends and family, my regular family, my rennies and faire friends and family, and people in my life who cross all of those categories did what they usually do for me on the (thankfully fairly rare) occassion that being down in the dumps gets away from me.
I'm coming to terms with this oxygen tank as a constant companion when not at home. I'm getting used to ways to mitigate the coughing quickly enough so that it doesn't progress to wretching. For example I brought the tank along with me to Friday the 13th Lingirie Night at Rocky. That really was the last bastion of any out-dated image my ego had of my physical appearance/capability. Being able to accept the obvious handicap without feeling like I was under a microscope (though I noticed more than a few folks staring when they thought I wasn't looking) was a nice evolution of experience. Like Lizetta suggested and I knew would be true once I could make that first step - the thing simply becomes another part of who I am. Sadly it doesn't increase my appeal any but I suppose it does lend itself to magnifying one of my favorite personal traits - being non-threatening.
I don't have much to say but I wanted to make sure that I took a minute to thank all the folks who offered support, either in person, electronically, or silently. It's just another reminder that no matter how bad it may get there's something powerful and positive in my life that will never change.