Infatuation - Chapter 9 [ShouxGackt]
Title: Infatuation
Chapter: 9/??
Author: redeemeroflight
Genre: Angst, Love, Humor, possible xxx?
Ratings: NC-17
Warnings: Attempted Rape, violence and angst.
Pairings: Shou/Gackt, and mentions of the rest of A9 boys and Miyavi.
Summary: Shou gives up being nothing to Gackt one night only to be introduced to him while hes arms were around someone else. But Gackt sees something different in him and here sparks up his curiosity.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
Comments: Sorry this is late guys! a lot of stuffies was going on. But I managed to start writing this in the car waiting for my mom. OAo Ipod touch is awesome like that. Hope you guys like it. ^w^ ❤❤ Please, do comment. It encourages me more to write.!
I couldn’t feel. I couldn’t feel my heart seeping and weeping. All I could feel was the tingly sensation of being numb all over. I walked from street to street aimlessly. I let my feet walk on its own.
I’ve never felt this before, even if we only spent a few days together, I was already in love with him and now my heart is in so many burning pieces that I can’t even feel it anymore. I knew this would happen. But I took the risk on my own. I wanted this and it felt good to be happy but was it worth this much pain? Perhaps for me it is.
My world was empty again. Was it always like this? Did it always feel so hollow and empty? Living everyday with nothing to look forward to, nothing to be happy about, and no one to hold me while I cried. I feel so pitiful and pathetic.
A vibration in my pocket woke me up from my thoughts. I looked up from the ground and found myself nowhere I recognized. It was dark; the streetlights didn’t seem to work. When I took out my phone from my pocket it was the only light illuminating.
I noticed the time as I looked at my phone. 1:53am. Shit, have I been walking that long? I filled my phone open, it read: 23 miscalls and 12 text messages.
I checked the miscalls first. 15 were from Gackt, my heart tightened at his name and the rest was from Tora, Saga, Nao, and Hiroto. Why’re they calling? Did something happen? I continued on to the text messages.
Sender: Gaku
“Shou, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Where are you? Please, pick up your phone”
“Shou, please pick up. I’m sorry. Let me explain everything”
“Shou, I miss you. Where are you? I’m sorry”
“Please pick up, I’m going crazy here. I’m worried about you. I’m sorry”
“Where are you?”
“Are you okay? Please reply”
“I went to the guys, I told them everything. They threw a few punches and I let them. I deserved it. Please pick up”
My chest tightened some more, every text message starting to sound more desperate than the last. I felt tears sting my eyes for the first time since I started walking.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please, pick up.”
Sender: Saga
“Where the fuck are you? We’ve been looking for you everywhere! PICK UP YOUR GODDAMN PHONE!”
“What he did to you was unforgivable. We punched his lights out. Please come home”
Sender: Hiro
“Shou, please pick up. We’re so worried about you. Forget about Gackt. He’s just an asshole who doesn’t know what he’s doing.”
“Pick up, so we can come and get you and we can talk about this. Shou. Where are you?”
Shit. I worried them all, I’ve got to get back before they do worse things to Gackt. I turned back and retraced my footsteps (if I remember them) so I could get to somewhere that leads to the main road so I could get a cab. I started walking by the time I got to the corner; someone grabs me by the arm.
“Hey there, sweet thing. Where are you going so late at night?” A large man said slurring his words. He was obviously drunk. He looked like the kind to hang around a cabaret.
I tried to break free of his grasp but it was too strong.
“Let go of me!” I shouted trying to push him away. But that only encouraged him more.
“I like ‘em feisty, come here and I’ll show you a good time” He said grabbing my ass to get me closer to him.
“No! LEAVE ME ALONE!” I screamed trying to push him away as he started to push me into an alley and started to grope me everywhere. I struggled as his mouth came against mine in a rough kiss. I turned away trying to break the kiss, it did but he only moved to my neck. I stiffened even more. I didn’t know what to do. I tried pushing him away more.
“Let me go! Stop it!” I screamed, again it only encouraged him. He slapped me hard on my face and in the process my face scrapped against the wall he had me up against while he ripped my shirt open and started to fiddle with my pants. Fuck. I have to get out of this. I kicked him and when his hands let go of me and moved to cover over his stomach I pushed him to the ground and ran. My tears streaming down my face. I felt my cheek burn from the scrape. I didn’t know if it was bleeding I didn’t care. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be with the guys. I don’t care. Before I could reach far enough that very man caught up to me and hit me hard that everything went dark.
----
My worry for him almost drove me to tears. I hope he’s okay. My face burned as I applied ice on it to avoid swelling as I sat in the lounge of PSC with the rest of the alice nine boys.
They were really pissed off and being around them right now was awkward with the tension in the air. Hiroto and Nao sat on the coach still trying to get through Shou while Tora and Saga paced back and forth. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I felt so helpless. I couldn’t get through Shou maybe they could. But they couldn’t either and it made me sick with worry. I ran my hand through my hair.
It was already 2:30am and he wasn’t home. He wasn’t anywhere. I didn’t know what to do. I felt my tears roll down my cheeks.
This is my entire fault. Why did I have to go out with that blonde the previous week? Why was she so fucking naïve? It was a one-date thing. Fuck. I should have run after him. But I needed to make it clear to the girl that we were never an item and then I would explain everything to him and tell him I was never hers but his entirely. God. I miss him.
My train of thoughts broke when Nao yelled “He picked up”.
“Hello?” He said, Hiroto was holding his hand with worry in his eyes.
“Where is he?” I asked walking towards him wanting to take the phone from him. I watched as he listened and answered to the end. I have a bad feeling about this. He hung up.
“He’s in the hospital” He said.
Fuck, this is all my fault.
---
I heard voices, familiar voices. I opened my eyes slowly. My head hurt, my whole body hurt. Before I could take a good look at where I was, Hiroto launched himself at me and hugged me tight.
“I’m so happy you’re okay!” he said.
“Don’t try to get up, just rest,” Nao said as he stood beside Hiroto who was now holding my hand.
“Where am I?” I asked as I started looking around to see Tora, Saga, and Gackt outside the room talking with a doctor. What was he doing here? I noticed his eye was swollen and his lip was cut.
“You’re in the hospital, good thing we kept on calling otherwise we wouldn’t know where you were” Nao answered.
“How did I get here?” I asked.
“A man attacked you and people passing by saw and helped. You were passed out. He hit you pretty hard. They brought you here.” Saga said as he entered the room along with Tora and Gackt.
I could tell he was leaving out information to spare me the humiliation. I knew exactly what happened before I passed out and I could guess what had happened after. I looked at Gackt his eyes were bloodshot like he had been crying. He looked at me with regretful eyes and a warm smile that still made me skip a heart beat.
“You’re awake, how’re you feeling?” Gackt asks as he started approaching me but Saga blocked his path.
“You’re not coming anywhere near him again. Go home.” He said, pushing Gackt.
“Saga” I said. He looked at me with a ‘what’ look in his eyes.
“I need to speak with him alone” I said turning to the Hiroto and Nao and smiled while they smiled back.
Hiroto hugged me and whispered “He’ll make it all better” He meant Gackt. I knew he could make it all better. Even though I already forgave him, I still felt the urge to be angry and give him a piece of my mind.
Once we were alone Gackt started towards me. He came to me slowly then he hesitatingly reached for my hand. I let him touch me.
“I am so sorry, Shou, I don’t know what I can do to make it all better. I am so fucking sorry. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have let you run off like that. But I wanted make it clear to that woman that she and I were done ages ago before I went to you. I’m so sorry… I’m so so sorry.” He repeated his eyes started welling with tears and his voice cracking a little. He swallowed to keep it from happening. He tried his best to be strong.
I squeezed his hand.
“It’s okay,” I said.
“No, its not, because of me someone hurt you and I’ll never forgive myself for what happened to you.” He said with a stern voice. He was angry with himself. He traced my side of my cheek with his finger touching from skin to bandage to skin.
“I’m so sorry” He repeated again.
“It’s okay, I forgive you” I said leaning against his touch. He didn’t say anything he just leaned in and kissed my dry, slit lips and hugged me tight.
“I love you,” He whispered. My heart stopped. He loves me? I pulled away from the hug to look into his eyes to see if his words are sincere. His eyes were smiling down at me. His lips curved in a small smile.
“I love you,” He repeated this time looking straight into my eyes. He saw the doubt in my eyes and said again.
“I love you, sincerely and passionately” He said, holding my face in his hands and started kissing me nose, cheek, and eyes and repeatedly telling me he loved me in between those kisses.
I hugged him. Tears of happiness leapt from my eyes and onto my cheeks.
He loves me.
-----
Follow me on twitter for updates. ^w^ http://twitter.com/designmeahuman
Chapter: 9/??
Author: redeemeroflight
Genre: Angst, Love, Humor, possible xxx?
Ratings: NC-17
Warnings: Attempted Rape, violence and angst.
Pairings: Shou/Gackt, and mentions of the rest of A9 boys and Miyavi.
Summary: Shou gives up being nothing to Gackt one night only to be introduced to him while hes arms were around someone else. But Gackt sees something different in him and here sparks up his curiosity.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
Comments: Sorry this is late guys! a lot of stuffies was going on. But I managed to start writing this in the car waiting for my mom. OAo Ipod touch is awesome like that. Hope you guys like it. ^w^ ❤❤ Please, do comment. It encourages me more to write.!
I couldn’t feel. I couldn’t feel my heart seeping and weeping. All I could feel was the tingly sensation of being numb all over. I walked from street to street aimlessly. I let my feet walk on its own.
I’ve never felt this before, even if we only spent a few days together, I was already in love with him and now my heart is in so many burning pieces that I can’t even feel it anymore. I knew this would happen. But I took the risk on my own. I wanted this and it felt good to be happy but was it worth this much pain? Perhaps for me it is.
My world was empty again. Was it always like this? Did it always feel so hollow and empty? Living everyday with nothing to look forward to, nothing to be happy about, and no one to hold me while I cried. I feel so pitiful and pathetic.
A vibration in my pocket woke me up from my thoughts. I looked up from the ground and found myself nowhere I recognized. It was dark; the streetlights didn’t seem to work. When I took out my phone from my pocket it was the only light illuminating.
I noticed the time as I looked at my phone. 1:53am. Shit, have I been walking that long? I filled my phone open, it read: 23 miscalls and 12 text messages.
I checked the miscalls first. 15 were from Gackt, my heart tightened at his name and the rest was from Tora, Saga, Nao, and Hiroto. Why’re they calling? Did something happen? I continued on to the text messages.
Sender: Gaku
“Shou, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Where are you? Please, pick up your phone”
“Shou, please pick up. I’m sorry. Let me explain everything”
“Shou, I miss you. Where are you? I’m sorry”
“Please pick up, I’m going crazy here. I’m worried about you. I’m sorry”
“Where are you?”
“Are you okay? Please reply”
“I went to the guys, I told them everything. They threw a few punches and I let them. I deserved it. Please pick up”
My chest tightened some more, every text message starting to sound more desperate than the last. I felt tears sting my eyes for the first time since I started walking.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please, pick up.”
Sender: Saga
“Where the fuck are you? We’ve been looking for you everywhere! PICK UP YOUR GODDAMN PHONE!”
“What he did to you was unforgivable. We punched his lights out. Please come home”
Sender: Hiro
“Shou, please pick up. We’re so worried about you. Forget about Gackt. He’s just an asshole who doesn’t know what he’s doing.”
“Pick up, so we can come and get you and we can talk about this. Shou. Where are you?”
Shit. I worried them all, I’ve got to get back before they do worse things to Gackt. I turned back and retraced my footsteps (if I remember them) so I could get to somewhere that leads to the main road so I could get a cab. I started walking by the time I got to the corner; someone grabs me by the arm.
“Hey there, sweet thing. Where are you going so late at night?” A large man said slurring his words. He was obviously drunk. He looked like the kind to hang around a cabaret.
I tried to break free of his grasp but it was too strong.
“Let go of me!” I shouted trying to push him away. But that only encouraged him more.
“I like ‘em feisty, come here and I’ll show you a good time” He said grabbing my ass to get me closer to him.
“No! LEAVE ME ALONE!” I screamed trying to push him away as he started to push me into an alley and started to grope me everywhere. I struggled as his mouth came against mine in a rough kiss. I turned away trying to break the kiss, it did but he only moved to my neck. I stiffened even more. I didn’t know what to do. I tried pushing him away more.
“Let me go! Stop it!” I screamed, again it only encouraged him. He slapped me hard on my face and in the process my face scrapped against the wall he had me up against while he ripped my shirt open and started to fiddle with my pants. Fuck. I have to get out of this. I kicked him and when his hands let go of me and moved to cover over his stomach I pushed him to the ground and ran. My tears streaming down my face. I felt my cheek burn from the scrape. I didn’t know if it was bleeding I didn’t care. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be with the guys. I don’t care. Before I could reach far enough that very man caught up to me and hit me hard that everything went dark.
----
My worry for him almost drove me to tears. I hope he’s okay. My face burned as I applied ice on it to avoid swelling as I sat in the lounge of PSC with the rest of the alice nine boys.
They were really pissed off and being around them right now was awkward with the tension in the air. Hiroto and Nao sat on the coach still trying to get through Shou while Tora and Saga paced back and forth. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I felt so helpless. I couldn’t get through Shou maybe they could. But they couldn’t either and it made me sick with worry. I ran my hand through my hair.
It was already 2:30am and he wasn’t home. He wasn’t anywhere. I didn’t know what to do. I felt my tears roll down my cheeks.
This is my entire fault. Why did I have to go out with that blonde the previous week? Why was she so fucking naïve? It was a one-date thing. Fuck. I should have run after him. But I needed to make it clear to the girl that we were never an item and then I would explain everything to him and tell him I was never hers but his entirely. God. I miss him.
My train of thoughts broke when Nao yelled “He picked up”.
“Hello?” He said, Hiroto was holding his hand with worry in his eyes.
“Where is he?” I asked walking towards him wanting to take the phone from him. I watched as he listened and answered to the end. I have a bad feeling about this. He hung up.
“He’s in the hospital” He said.
Fuck, this is all my fault.
---
I heard voices, familiar voices. I opened my eyes slowly. My head hurt, my whole body hurt. Before I could take a good look at where I was, Hiroto launched himself at me and hugged me tight.
“I’m so happy you’re okay!” he said.
“Don’t try to get up, just rest,” Nao said as he stood beside Hiroto who was now holding my hand.
“Where am I?” I asked as I started looking around to see Tora, Saga, and Gackt outside the room talking with a doctor. What was he doing here? I noticed his eye was swollen and his lip was cut.
“You’re in the hospital, good thing we kept on calling otherwise we wouldn’t know where you were” Nao answered.
“How did I get here?” I asked.
“A man attacked you and people passing by saw and helped. You were passed out. He hit you pretty hard. They brought you here.” Saga said as he entered the room along with Tora and Gackt.
I could tell he was leaving out information to spare me the humiliation. I knew exactly what happened before I passed out and I could guess what had happened after. I looked at Gackt his eyes were bloodshot like he had been crying. He looked at me with regretful eyes and a warm smile that still made me skip a heart beat.
“You’re awake, how’re you feeling?” Gackt asks as he started approaching me but Saga blocked his path.
“You’re not coming anywhere near him again. Go home.” He said, pushing Gackt.
“Saga” I said. He looked at me with a ‘what’ look in his eyes.
“I need to speak with him alone” I said turning to the Hiroto and Nao and smiled while they smiled back.
Hiroto hugged me and whispered “He’ll make it all better” He meant Gackt. I knew he could make it all better. Even though I already forgave him, I still felt the urge to be angry and give him a piece of my mind.
Once we were alone Gackt started towards me. He came to me slowly then he hesitatingly reached for my hand. I let him touch me.
“I am so sorry, Shou, I don’t know what I can do to make it all better. I am so fucking sorry. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have let you run off like that. But I wanted make it clear to that woman that she and I were done ages ago before I went to you. I’m so sorry… I’m so so sorry.” He repeated his eyes started welling with tears and his voice cracking a little. He swallowed to keep it from happening. He tried his best to be strong.
I squeezed his hand.
“It’s okay,” I said.
“No, its not, because of me someone hurt you and I’ll never forgive myself for what happened to you.” He said with a stern voice. He was angry with himself. He traced my side of my cheek with his finger touching from skin to bandage to skin.
“I’m so sorry” He repeated again.
“It’s okay, I forgive you” I said leaning against his touch. He didn’t say anything he just leaned in and kissed my dry, slit lips and hugged me tight.
“I love you,” He whispered. My heart stopped. He loves me? I pulled away from the hug to look into his eyes to see if his words are sincere. His eyes were smiling down at me. His lips curved in a small smile.
“I love you,” He repeated this time looking straight into my eyes. He saw the doubt in my eyes and said again.
“I love you, sincerely and passionately” He said, holding my face in his hands and started kissing me nose, cheek, and eyes and repeatedly telling me he loved me in between those kisses.
I hugged him. Tears of happiness leapt from my eyes and onto my cheeks.
He loves me.
-----
Follow me on twitter for updates. ^w^ http://twitter.com/designmeahuman