Infatuation - Chapter 3 [ShouxGackt]
Miyavi didn’t say anything else, he just stood suddenly put down his guitar and grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the studio and into the rather deserted PSC corridor. He maneuvered me straight then left and right and right again to a door that opened to a recording booth within it was actually a practice room and within that practice room was Alice Nine or more specifically Shou.
Miyavi sat me down on the couch, and I nearly squished something in the process. It was a bag I moved it away so I wouldn’t crush it and watched as Miyavi spoke to the guy behind the mixers.
They didn’t notice us come in. Which was what I hoped for. We made it just in time.
“Okay, Waterfall in 5, 4, 3” Shou said with a tired tone. I assume he didn’t get much sleep last night either. His eyes were puffy like he was crying, and if I looked closer they looked so sad.
The band started to play and Shou swayed his body from left to right and breathed in deeply before he sang with deep voice.
It sounded so enchanting and sad especially with the sound of the bass and drums playing in the background with the faint sounds of the guitars meeting them rarely.
I recognized the song and the way he sung it now and the way he sung it in the CD were different. He sounded so sad and hurt. Especially when he sung these words ‘I can't say good-bye to you’ he sung it like he meant it, like he wouldn’t let go of something.
Throughout the song I was dumbfounded at how good they were and how Shou’s voice was, he’s just incredible.
I couldn’t keep my eyes off him; I can’t keep my eyes off how he swayed his body as he sang with his hands on the mic, singing away his frustrations and pain. He really is incredible.
I felt an elbow poke the side of my arm.
“Oy, you’re gawking” Meevs said, he looked at me then at Shou, then at me again. I opened my mouth to about speak only to be interrupted.
“Shou? You’re crushing on Shou? Why didn’t I see that one coming,” He asked himself as he palmed his forehead. I just smiled and continued, ‘gawking’ at my little ‘crush’.
“G, I think Shous’ hung up on someone already” I heard Meevs say.
“Yea, I can tell but look at him. Who ever he is, he’s torturing Shou” I replied not once looking away from the object of my ‘gawking’.
“And you’re going to swoon in like a knight in shining armor to save him?” Miyavi continued in a rather mocking tone.
“You could say that” I replied.
“Okay, as long as you know what you’re doing. I won’t stop you” He finished.
The music faded in the background. I watched Shou open his eyes slowly and then they widened when they caught sight of me.
“Shou, that was great!” “Yea, man! You’re really fired up this time” Tora and Saga said as they both patted Shou in the back before noticing Shou’s face and they turned following his gaze and caught me and Miyavi in the recording booth.
“Hey guys!” Miyavi said standing from his seat and waved cheerfully. I stood as well and just smiled at them.
Instantly Tora and Saga entered the booth. They were asking what I thought of the song and I answered honestly, they also asked what brought me here.
My eyes didn’t leave Shou’s as he looked away, removed and hung the headphones on the mic and walked into the booth. Just when I thought he would say hello he didn’t he faintly smiled at Miyavi and walked right past me and out the door. What brought me here was Shou and I just watched him walk out of my sight. I didn’t reply I just excused myself and walked right after Shou.
I walked out and into the corridor to find it empty. I continued on looking for Shou to find him sitting on the steps of the staircase. I stopped at the doorframe and just waited for him to sense my presence.
-------
What the fuck? Everywhere I go I keep on being reminded or being haunted by him. What’s he trying to do? Why’s he stalking me all of the sudden? Argh!
Stupid. It isn’t about you. You saw him; he came for Miyavi and then Tora and Saga. DUH. It’s not about you and it’ll never be. Get it? I feel so stupid.
I walked out of the practice room, and into the booth. I smiled at Miyavi as I walked out and made my way to the staircase where I can be alone and deal with my self-pity and depression.
What should I do now? He won’t leave. Of course he won’t he’s everyone else’s friend. Its obvious he’ll keep coming back, he’ll be around more and even worse the guys will start hanging out with him more and that means I have to hang out with him too.
Argh. So much for avoidance, I guess I have to suck it up and befriend him too. Okay, this isn’t so bad. I can deal with it. I can deal with his talk of women. I can deal with him possibly make out with them in front of me like how he did last night and what Tora usually does when he manages to get a date. I feel my chest tighten at the thought.
“Can I really do this?” I whispered to myself.
“Do what?” I jump and swear as I hear a deep voice say from behind. I look around instantly and see Gackt looking down at me.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” He apologized as he sits himself next to me.
I can feel the warmth radiating from him.
“Its okay, what’re you doing here?” I asked him totally ignoring his first question.
“Just wanted to say hi,” He replied, he’s charming.
“Hi” I said smiling up at him. Its funny how I’m still looking up at him even when we’re sitting.
“Hey there” He said smiling at me; it wasn’t one of his signature smiles. This one was more genuine, more sincere; it made my heart leap inside my rib cage.
“You sang really well in there, I haven’t heard singing like that in awhile” He’s actually complimenting me.
“Woah, Thank you” I said in a giggly tone with a stupid grin on my face and then I felt my face heat up. I was flattered I couldn’t help it.
------
He’s too cute for his own good. The way he thanked me with that grin was just adorable. I can’t stop staring at him. Was that a blush? Can he get any cuter?
“You’re welcome,” I said, giving him a half smile. I looked away for the first time since I made my presence known.
“Shouldn’t you go back?” I asked him.
“In a bit, I just need a little break, that kind of took way too much energy away from me” He replied rubbing his eyes in the most adorable way ever that I couldn’t help but smile at him.
“Yeah, I know what that's like, this is going to sound a little girly but I faint sometimes because of it” I told him slightly blushing waiting for him to laugh.
And he did. His laugh was music to my ears and not to mention cute. Especially when his nose wrinkled. Very Cute.
“I know,” He answered. I didn’t expect that. He knows?
“Sorry if I sounded a bit weird there, I’m kind of one of your fans” He confessed. This isn’t the first time I liked someone who already knew who I was. Even before I met them. I guess its normal for all of us in the business.
-----
“There you are! We were looking everywhere for you two” Saga said as he entered the stairway.
“Aren’t you guys coming back in, or do you two need some alone time?” Saga teased and I gave him the look that said ‘another word from you and I’ll have your head for this’.
“I’m coming” I stood up and followed Saga back into the studio hoping Gackt followed along behind me.
I was overwhelmed; I can’t believe I actually had a decent conversation with the man I’ve been in love with in years. Okay, that sounded stupid. Its normal to talk to the one you love. But in my case, it never happens. I feel pathetic right now.
I couldn’t help but look back to check if Gackt followed along and he did. I was glad but I didn’t show it.
“Where have you been?” Tora says as soon as we entered the studio. He sounded like a mom. He even had his hands on his hips.
“I was tired and wanted some time alone” I replied innocently. It was the half-truth I was tired and I wanted to be alone. I left out the part where I wanted to get away from Gackt.
“More like alone with Gackt!” Saga inserted with a teasing smile. I ignored his childish ways until he started smooching the air then I just snapped. I moved forward about to attack when a pair of arms came up from behind me and stopped me.
“You’re such a child Saga! Grow up!” I yelled. My cheeks flushed. ARGH. I hate him. I tried to break free from Gackt’s grasp to really give it to Saga, Argh! I’m furious! But then Gackt’s arms fully encircled my body and he softly whispered into my ear.
“Hey, he’s just trying to push you off the edge, don’t let him get to you”
“Oh look how cute Shou’s being! He’s even pouting!” Saga said giving me a little pinch in the cheek. Oh no he did not just do that! I let out a growl trying to go at him again but Gackt’s arms tightened softly and calmed me down. I breathed hard; Saga just gets on my nerves.
“Ugh!” I yelled in frustration and I subconsciously turned in Gackt’s arms and rested my head on his chest nuzzling in for comfort. It feels so nice.
Fuck. What am I doing? I broke away from his arms.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize-“ I didn’t finish I just turned around to find the whole band and Miyavi staring.
“Lets get back to practicing” I said breaking through the audience and into the practice room.
-----
Watching Saga as he teased Shou to no ends was entertaining. I smiled at the sight. I laughed a bit at Sagas words and Shous reaction.
Shou got really angry and after that I couldn’t help but hold him back. I took a hold of both his arms as he tried launching himself at band mate.
“You’re such a child Saga! Grow up!” He yelled. He struggled, trying to release himself from my grasp but it only made me encircle my arms around him completely. I don’t know what got into me I just leaned softly against him and whispered in his ear telling him Sagas just trying to get the best out of him.
“Oh look how cute Shou’s being! He’s even pouting!” Saga continued trying to really piss Shou off even more as he added a little pinch to his cheek.
Well, Saga was right. Shou was being cute and he was pouting. But I wouldn’t dare say anything as Shou literally let out a growl and tried launching himself at Saga again but I tightened my arms around him trying to calm him down.
“Ugh” Shou yelled and to my surprise turned in my arms and nuzzled against my chest like a child. It was so cute and so comfortable I didn’t want to ever let him go. It just felt so right. He fit just right in my arms. Before I could savor the moment we had he broke free form my arms and apologized and turned back to continue practicing.
I felt empty as soon as he’s warmth left my arms. He really is different.
Miyavi sat me down on the couch, and I nearly squished something in the process. It was a bag I moved it away so I wouldn’t crush it and watched as Miyavi spoke to the guy behind the mixers.
They didn’t notice us come in. Which was what I hoped for. We made it just in time.
“Okay, Waterfall in 5, 4, 3” Shou said with a tired tone. I assume he didn’t get much sleep last night either. His eyes were puffy like he was crying, and if I looked closer they looked so sad.
The band started to play and Shou swayed his body from left to right and breathed in deeply before he sang with deep voice.
It sounded so enchanting and sad especially with the sound of the bass and drums playing in the background with the faint sounds of the guitars meeting them rarely.
I recognized the song and the way he sung it now and the way he sung it in the CD were different. He sounded so sad and hurt. Especially when he sung these words ‘I can't say good-bye to you’ he sung it like he meant it, like he wouldn’t let go of something.
Throughout the song I was dumbfounded at how good they were and how Shou’s voice was, he’s just incredible.
I couldn’t keep my eyes off him; I can’t keep my eyes off how he swayed his body as he sang with his hands on the mic, singing away his frustrations and pain. He really is incredible.
I felt an elbow poke the side of my arm.
“Oy, you’re gawking” Meevs said, he looked at me then at Shou, then at me again. I opened my mouth to about speak only to be interrupted.
“Shou? You’re crushing on Shou? Why didn’t I see that one coming,” He asked himself as he palmed his forehead. I just smiled and continued, ‘gawking’ at my little ‘crush’.
“G, I think Shous’ hung up on someone already” I heard Meevs say.
“Yea, I can tell but look at him. Who ever he is, he’s torturing Shou” I replied not once looking away from the object of my ‘gawking’.
“And you’re going to swoon in like a knight in shining armor to save him?” Miyavi continued in a rather mocking tone.
“You could say that” I replied.
“Okay, as long as you know what you’re doing. I won’t stop you” He finished.
The music faded in the background. I watched Shou open his eyes slowly and then they widened when they caught sight of me.
“Shou, that was great!” “Yea, man! You’re really fired up this time” Tora and Saga said as they both patted Shou in the back before noticing Shou’s face and they turned following his gaze and caught me and Miyavi in the recording booth.
“Hey guys!” Miyavi said standing from his seat and waved cheerfully. I stood as well and just smiled at them.
Instantly Tora and Saga entered the booth. They were asking what I thought of the song and I answered honestly, they also asked what brought me here.
My eyes didn’t leave Shou’s as he looked away, removed and hung the headphones on the mic and walked into the booth. Just when I thought he would say hello he didn’t he faintly smiled at Miyavi and walked right past me and out the door. What brought me here was Shou and I just watched him walk out of my sight. I didn’t reply I just excused myself and walked right after Shou.
I walked out and into the corridor to find it empty. I continued on looking for Shou to find him sitting on the steps of the staircase. I stopped at the doorframe and just waited for him to sense my presence.
-------
What the fuck? Everywhere I go I keep on being reminded or being haunted by him. What’s he trying to do? Why’s he stalking me all of the sudden? Argh!
Stupid. It isn’t about you. You saw him; he came for Miyavi and then Tora and Saga. DUH. It’s not about you and it’ll never be. Get it? I feel so stupid.
I walked out of the practice room, and into the booth. I smiled at Miyavi as I walked out and made my way to the staircase where I can be alone and deal with my self-pity and depression.
What should I do now? He won’t leave. Of course he won’t he’s everyone else’s friend. Its obvious he’ll keep coming back, he’ll be around more and even worse the guys will start hanging out with him more and that means I have to hang out with him too.
Argh. So much for avoidance, I guess I have to suck it up and befriend him too. Okay, this isn’t so bad. I can deal with it. I can deal with his talk of women. I can deal with him possibly make out with them in front of me like how he did last night and what Tora usually does when he manages to get a date. I feel my chest tighten at the thought.
“Can I really do this?” I whispered to myself.
“Do what?” I jump and swear as I hear a deep voice say from behind. I look around instantly and see Gackt looking down at me.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” He apologized as he sits himself next to me.
I can feel the warmth radiating from him.
“Its okay, what’re you doing here?” I asked him totally ignoring his first question.
“Just wanted to say hi,” He replied, he’s charming.
“Hi” I said smiling up at him. Its funny how I’m still looking up at him even when we’re sitting.
“Hey there” He said smiling at me; it wasn’t one of his signature smiles. This one was more genuine, more sincere; it made my heart leap inside my rib cage.
“You sang really well in there, I haven’t heard singing like that in awhile” He’s actually complimenting me.
“Woah, Thank you” I said in a giggly tone with a stupid grin on my face and then I felt my face heat up. I was flattered I couldn’t help it.
------
He’s too cute for his own good. The way he thanked me with that grin was just adorable. I can’t stop staring at him. Was that a blush? Can he get any cuter?
“You’re welcome,” I said, giving him a half smile. I looked away for the first time since I made my presence known.
“Shouldn’t you go back?” I asked him.
“In a bit, I just need a little break, that kind of took way too much energy away from me” He replied rubbing his eyes in the most adorable way ever that I couldn’t help but smile at him.
“Yeah, I know what that's like, this is going to sound a little girly but I faint sometimes because of it” I told him slightly blushing waiting for him to laugh.
And he did. His laugh was music to my ears and not to mention cute. Especially when his nose wrinkled. Very Cute.
“I know,” He answered. I didn’t expect that. He knows?
“Sorry if I sounded a bit weird there, I’m kind of one of your fans” He confessed. This isn’t the first time I liked someone who already knew who I was. Even before I met them. I guess its normal for all of us in the business.
-----
“There you are! We were looking everywhere for you two” Saga said as he entered the stairway.
“Aren’t you guys coming back in, or do you two need some alone time?” Saga teased and I gave him the look that said ‘another word from you and I’ll have your head for this’.
“I’m coming” I stood up and followed Saga back into the studio hoping Gackt followed along behind me.
I was overwhelmed; I can’t believe I actually had a decent conversation with the man I’ve been in love with in years. Okay, that sounded stupid. Its normal to talk to the one you love. But in my case, it never happens. I feel pathetic right now.
I couldn’t help but look back to check if Gackt followed along and he did. I was glad but I didn’t show it.
“Where have you been?” Tora says as soon as we entered the studio. He sounded like a mom. He even had his hands on his hips.
“I was tired and wanted some time alone” I replied innocently. It was the half-truth I was tired and I wanted to be alone. I left out the part where I wanted to get away from Gackt.
“More like alone with Gackt!” Saga inserted with a teasing smile. I ignored his childish ways until he started smooching the air then I just snapped. I moved forward about to attack when a pair of arms came up from behind me and stopped me.
“You’re such a child Saga! Grow up!” I yelled. My cheeks flushed. ARGH. I hate him. I tried to break free from Gackt’s grasp to really give it to Saga, Argh! I’m furious! But then Gackt’s arms fully encircled my body and he softly whispered into my ear.
“Hey, he’s just trying to push you off the edge, don’t let him get to you”
“Oh look how cute Shou’s being! He’s even pouting!” Saga said giving me a little pinch in the cheek. Oh no he did not just do that! I let out a growl trying to go at him again but Gackt’s arms tightened softly and calmed me down. I breathed hard; Saga just gets on my nerves.
“Ugh!” I yelled in frustration and I subconsciously turned in Gackt’s arms and rested my head on his chest nuzzling in for comfort. It feels so nice.
Fuck. What am I doing? I broke away from his arms.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize-“ I didn’t finish I just turned around to find the whole band and Miyavi staring.
“Lets get back to practicing” I said breaking through the audience and into the practice room.
-----
Watching Saga as he teased Shou to no ends was entertaining. I smiled at the sight. I laughed a bit at Sagas words and Shous reaction.
Shou got really angry and after that I couldn’t help but hold him back. I took a hold of both his arms as he tried launching himself at band mate.
“You’re such a child Saga! Grow up!” He yelled. He struggled, trying to release himself from my grasp but it only made me encircle my arms around him completely. I don’t know what got into me I just leaned softly against him and whispered in his ear telling him Sagas just trying to get the best out of him.
“Oh look how cute Shou’s being! He’s even pouting!” Saga continued trying to really piss Shou off even more as he added a little pinch to his cheek.
Well, Saga was right. Shou was being cute and he was pouting. But I wouldn’t dare say anything as Shou literally let out a growl and tried launching himself at Saga again but I tightened my arms around him trying to calm him down.
“Ugh” Shou yelled and to my surprise turned in my arms and nuzzled against my chest like a child. It was so cute and so comfortable I didn’t want to ever let him go. It just felt so right. He fit just right in my arms. Before I could savor the moment we had he broke free form my arms and apologized and turned back to continue practicing.
I felt empty as soon as he’s warmth left my arms. He really is different.