Fic: Bastard
Fic: Bastard
Pairing: vague Rimmer/Lister preslash
Rating: G
Summary: Lister's thoughts on Rimmer before asking him to come up with a battle plan in The Beginning.
Notes: All dialogue is taken directly from the episode. Very short. Many thanks to horselizard/fecklesheckleshacklesschmeckles for beta reading.
Rimmer was still a bastard.
Nothing, not time, space, death or reality, not even a stint as the heroic Ace Rimmer, would change that. Here they were, Lister thought, under attack by a simulant death ship, and still the smegger couldn't keep his mouth shut.
"Not me, then," he was saying in that obnoxiously smug tone. "Excellent. I'll be in the rec room, reading this month's copy of 'I'm Okay' magazine." Which was a stupid smegging thing to say, since the git knew full well they hadn't been able to disentangle his hologramatic existence from Lister's own life, and if Lister died, he would effectively die too. But he glanced back at his screen even as Kryten corrected him.
"Make no mistake, sir. They will view us all as Mister Lister's lieutenants."
---
They made their escape on Blue Midget, disappearing into an asteroid field, only to find themselves surrounded while the simulants sent out probes.
"Is that it?" demanded the Cat. "We're all gonna die?"
"Well, you're all going to die," Rimmer declared. "I'm already dead. I had the sense to get dying out of the way early. For years, you mocked me. Not laughing now, are you?"
Lister rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, cause being dead is such an advantage here."
"It is an advantage," Rimmer argued. He divided his attention between his station and the others as they bickered.
"Shh," Cat interrupted him, as a probe came close. "What's that?" Hastily, they shut down the lights. "Good thinking," he praised. "They'll think we're all out."
"If things get really tricky, we'll open the airlock and get Kryten to tell them we've moved," Rimmer snarked, peering closely at his screen.
Yeah, Lister thought, Rimmer was still a bastard, but there was a time he would have run by now, and instead here he was, manning his station with the rest of them.
The simulants were coming back. "Look," he urged, "we've got to get a battle plan. Astronavs, space school stuff. Rimmer, is that something you can handle?"
Pairing: vague Rimmer/Lister preslash
Rating: G
Summary: Lister's thoughts on Rimmer before asking him to come up with a battle plan in The Beginning.
Notes: All dialogue is taken directly from the episode. Very short. Many thanks to horselizard/fecklesheckleshacklesschmeckles for beta reading.
Rimmer was still a bastard.
Nothing, not time, space, death or reality, not even a stint as the heroic Ace Rimmer, would change that. Here they were, Lister thought, under attack by a simulant death ship, and still the smegger couldn't keep his mouth shut.
"Not me, then," he was saying in that obnoxiously smug tone. "Excellent. I'll be in the rec room, reading this month's copy of 'I'm Okay' magazine." Which was a stupid smegging thing to say, since the git knew full well they hadn't been able to disentangle his hologramatic existence from Lister's own life, and if Lister died, he would effectively die too. But he glanced back at his screen even as Kryten corrected him.
"Make no mistake, sir. They will view us all as Mister Lister's lieutenants."
---
They made their escape on Blue Midget, disappearing into an asteroid field, only to find themselves surrounded while the simulants sent out probes.
"Is that it?" demanded the Cat. "We're all gonna die?"
"Well, you're all going to die," Rimmer declared. "I'm already dead. I had the sense to get dying out of the way early. For years, you mocked me. Not laughing now, are you?"
Lister rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, cause being dead is such an advantage here."
"It is an advantage," Rimmer argued. He divided his attention between his station and the others as they bickered.
"Shh," Cat interrupted him, as a probe came close. "What's that?" Hastily, they shut down the lights. "Good thinking," he praised. "They'll think we're all out."
"If things get really tricky, we'll open the airlock and get Kryten to tell them we've moved," Rimmer snarked, peering closely at his screen.
Yeah, Lister thought, Rimmer was still a bastard, but there was a time he would have run by now, and instead here he was, manning his station with the rest of them.
The simulants were coming back. "Look," he urged, "we've got to get a battle plan. Astronavs, space school stuff. Rimmer, is that something you can handle?"