Fic: Distress Call - Lister/Kryten - R - AU
Title: Distress Call
Pairing: Lister/Kryten (implied), and a hint of Rimmer/Lister
Rating: R, for mature themes
Disclaimer: I don't own Red Dwarf, or any of the characters thereof. I make no money from this.
Spoilers: Out Of Time.
Notes: AU. I'm terribly, terribly sorry about this. As always, please bring me concrit!
Day thrrrrrrrrrrrrdecimal pointappleunderscoreX^cosine
Condition: Chartreuse.
I am sending this out as a mayday to any ships in the vicinity. We have been attacked by our future selves, for reasons which are interesting but irrelevant, and have consequently suffered major damage to our engines, hull, and serious personal injury to our crew. Should we not survive the following ordeal, perhaps this log will shed some light on what has happened here.
Having revived myself, my primary concern was for Mister Lister's safety. I have secured him in the ship's medi-bay, where I will keep him and Mister Cat until they are fit to be moved. As soon as I have secured the life-support systems, and made sure the hull will hold, I will attempt to locate Mister Rimmer.
Day ffhfhfhfhfnghuuuunnnnnNIPPLE_88-farthing//tertiary
Condition: Heliotrope.
I was unable to save Mister Rimmer. I have yet to break the news to Mister Lister, who is still not in good shape, and needs to be handled delicately. I am debating whether or not to tell Mister Cat, as the news may well aid his recovery. I found Mister Rimmer's light bee in the engine room, near the time drive. He must have been trying to escape when the blast hit. His bee was badly charred, and it is beyond my powers to repair it. Nevertheless, I have frozen it down, and will keep it in suspended animation in the freezer, in the hopes that we might some day come across some facility or person that may... well, there is always hope, as Mister Lister would have said. Meanwhile, the laundry won't do it itself!
Day vvnnnnnnnNnnN_!_//:trombosis((bracket))false positive
Condition: Saffron.
I broke the news to Mister Lister last night after what I must admit failed to be in any way whatsoever a rousing game of partnership whist. Neither he or Mister Cat seemed terribly interested in the game. I tried to soften the blow, explaining that as Mister Rimmer could, if one was charitable about it, be counted as a mechanical, and as such had a sporting chance of getting into silicon heaven. This did not receive the response I had anticipated, and I must admit I left the medi-bay in rather a huff.
I think I shall move them both tomorrow. They seem to be getting on one another's nerves.
Day ziiing_platform++00_bold_fuchsia%6666666666#
Condition: Lemon.
Repairs to my non-essential functions have had to wait, and I have still not have time to sort out my error log. Concequently, my internal chronometer is still suboptimal. Apologies for the continuing eccentricity of the time/date stamp on these entires.
Mister Lister and Mister Cat seemed happy to be moved to their bunks today. I have put Mister Cat in Mister Rimmer's old quarters, seeing as how he won't have any use for them for a while. Mister Lister is, of course, in his accustomed bunk. I even crumbled some poppadums and spread them out in the sheets for him to make it nice and cozy. He didn't say anything, but I could tell by the look on his little face that he appreciated it. It's the little things.
Day quantum_;;;;77177??{formula]55%55%11_!_!
Condition: Lime.
Things are slowly returning to normal. I have attempted to arrange for Mister Lister to return to his cockpit duties as soon as possible. It's no good for him to stay cooped up in his quarters all day. I must say, I worry for him. Both he and Mister Cat seem apathetic and in low spirits, despite my many efforts at entertaining them
both. Though I will readily admit my shortcomings in this area, I do not feel I deserve to be scoffed at while doing my series 4000b impersonations. And when a mechanoid goes to the trouble of juggling his own eyeballs; well, it just stands to reason that he should be given some sort of recognition for his trouble, is all I'm saying. Well, enough of that.
I've modified the chair at Mister Rimmer's old console so that it can be comfortably accessed by someone in a reclining position. And, of course, it can easily be altered to respond to voice commands. All in all, nothing too taxing even for someone in Mister Lister's condition. We'll try it out tomorrow and see how it works.
Day oceloooooottt/=&_0001_€kNg+
Condition: Olive.
Perhaps I was a tad too optimistic in evaluating Mister Lister's abilities. We had a bit of a scare today when we accidentally veered into the path of a comet. I blame myself, really. I shouldn't have left the cockpit, but Mister Lister can be so stubborn at times! I knew he wanted to prove that he was back to his old self, so I went off to do the dishes. Thank goodness I thought to check in later to see if he wanted a late afternoon snack, or we would have been done for. I doubt Starbug would have survived another impact so soon.
I put him back to bed, and refused to hear any protests. If all goes well, we can try again in a week or so. Red Dwarf's vapor trail isn't going anywhere!
Day fiivertyeenanaana-line break-ovalTINE_bold<&>
Condition: Aqua.
I have taken to watching Mister Lister in his bunk at night. He seems so peaceful. It troubles me that among the things in my error log is a report of missing memories. I have realized, in watching him these past few days, that many of them pertain to Mister Lister. What is it I've forgotten? I remember being on Red Dwarf; delivering his children, comforting him when we had to send them away; learning how to lie... What is it that I don't remember?
I think it's important. It has to be.
Day N. N. ine. Hhhhhhhhh0z+((++end)444_
Condition: Turquoise.
Heavy laundry day. Light meteor showers. Have had some time to work on my chronometer today. Hopefully it will be fully functional by tomorrow.
Day 25946
Condition: Navy.
After some consideration, I have decided to put Mister Lister into stasis. He'll be safer there. I modified the booth so that I can observe him from the outside. He still looks peaceful. The damage that was done to him during the attack is hardly even visible; I did do my best to preserve him. Him and... and... was there another one? No matter.
I am discovering disconcertingly large holes in my memory. I fear it might be getting worse, but I am not overly concerned. We will be rescued. I do remember that. Back on the Nova 5, when it was just me and the girls, that was tough, but we made it through. I'm a little hazy on the details, but I know we were definetly rescued! Meanwhile, we have one another, Mister Lister and I.
And there's always Androids.
Pairing: Lister/Kryten (implied), and a hint of Rimmer/Lister
Rating: R, for mature themes
Disclaimer: I don't own Red Dwarf, or any of the characters thereof. I make no money from this.
Spoilers: Out Of Time.
Notes: AU. I'm terribly, terribly sorry about this. As always, please bring me concrit!
Day thrrrrrrrrrrrrdecimal pointappleunderscoreX^cosine
Condition: Chartreuse.
I am sending this out as a mayday to any ships in the vicinity. We have been attacked by our future selves, for reasons which are interesting but irrelevant, and have consequently suffered major damage to our engines, hull, and serious personal injury to our crew. Should we not survive the following ordeal, perhaps this log will shed some light on what has happened here.
Having revived myself, my primary concern was for Mister Lister's safety. I have secured him in the ship's medi-bay, where I will keep him and Mister Cat until they are fit to be moved. As soon as I have secured the life-support systems, and made sure the hull will hold, I will attempt to locate Mister Rimmer.
Day ffhfhfhfhfnghuuuunnnnnNIPPLE_88-farthing//tertiary
Condition: Heliotrope.
I was unable to save Mister Rimmer. I have yet to break the news to Mister Lister, who is still not in good shape, and needs to be handled delicately. I am debating whether or not to tell Mister Cat, as the news may well aid his recovery. I found Mister Rimmer's light bee in the engine room, near the time drive. He must have been trying to escape when the blast hit. His bee was badly charred, and it is beyond my powers to repair it. Nevertheless, I have frozen it down, and will keep it in suspended animation in the freezer, in the hopes that we might some day come across some facility or person that may... well, there is always hope, as Mister Lister would have said. Meanwhile, the laundry won't do it itself!
Day vvnnnnnnnNnnN_!_//:trombosis((bracket))false positive
Condition: Saffron.
I broke the news to Mister Lister last night after what I must admit failed to be in any way whatsoever a rousing game of partnership whist. Neither he or Mister Cat seemed terribly interested in the game. I tried to soften the blow, explaining that as Mister Rimmer could, if one was charitable about it, be counted as a mechanical, and as such had a sporting chance of getting into silicon heaven. This did not receive the response I had anticipated, and I must admit I left the medi-bay in rather a huff.
I think I shall move them both tomorrow. They seem to be getting on one another's nerves.
Day ziiing_platform++00_bold_fuchsia%6666666666#
Condition: Lemon.
Repairs to my non-essential functions have had to wait, and I have still not have time to sort out my error log. Concequently, my internal chronometer is still suboptimal. Apologies for the continuing eccentricity of the time/date stamp on these entires.
Mister Lister and Mister Cat seemed happy to be moved to their bunks today. I have put Mister Cat in Mister Rimmer's old quarters, seeing as how he won't have any use for them for a while. Mister Lister is, of course, in his accustomed bunk. I even crumbled some poppadums and spread them out in the sheets for him to make it nice and cozy. He didn't say anything, but I could tell by the look on his little face that he appreciated it. It's the little things.
Day quantum_;;;;77177??{formula]55%55%11_!_!
Condition: Lime.
Things are slowly returning to normal. I have attempted to arrange for Mister Lister to return to his cockpit duties as soon as possible. It's no good for him to stay cooped up in his quarters all day. I must say, I worry for him. Both he and Mister Cat seem apathetic and in low spirits, despite my many efforts at entertaining them
both. Though I will readily admit my shortcomings in this area, I do not feel I deserve to be scoffed at while doing my series 4000b impersonations. And when a mechanoid goes to the trouble of juggling his own eyeballs; well, it just stands to reason that he should be given some sort of recognition for his trouble, is all I'm saying. Well, enough of that.
I've modified the chair at Mister Rimmer's old console so that it can be comfortably accessed by someone in a reclining position. And, of course, it can easily be altered to respond to voice commands. All in all, nothing too taxing even for someone in Mister Lister's condition. We'll try it out tomorrow and see how it works.
Day oceloooooottt/=&_0001_€kNg+
Condition: Olive.
Perhaps I was a tad too optimistic in evaluating Mister Lister's abilities. We had a bit of a scare today when we accidentally veered into the path of a comet. I blame myself, really. I shouldn't have left the cockpit, but Mister Lister can be so stubborn at times! I knew he wanted to prove that he was back to his old self, so I went off to do the dishes. Thank goodness I thought to check in later to see if he wanted a late afternoon snack, or we would have been done for. I doubt Starbug would have survived another impact so soon.
I put him back to bed, and refused to hear any protests. If all goes well, we can try again in a week or so. Red Dwarf's vapor trail isn't going anywhere!
Day fiivertyeenanaana-line break-ovalTINE_bold<&>
Condition: Aqua.
I have taken to watching Mister Lister in his bunk at night. He seems so peaceful. It troubles me that among the things in my error log is a report of missing memories. I have realized, in watching him these past few days, that many of them pertain to Mister Lister. What is it I've forgotten? I remember being on Red Dwarf; delivering his children, comforting him when we had to send them away; learning how to lie... What is it that I don't remember?
I think it's important. It has to be.
Day N. N. ine. Hhhhhhhhh0z+((++end)444_
Condition: Turquoise.
Heavy laundry day. Light meteor showers. Have had some time to work on my chronometer today. Hopefully it will be fully functional by tomorrow.
Day 25946
Condition: Navy.
After some consideration, I have decided to put Mister Lister into stasis. He'll be safer there. I modified the booth so that I can observe him from the outside. He still looks peaceful. The damage that was done to him during the attack is hardly even visible; I did do my best to preserve him. Him and... and... was there another one? No matter.
I am discovering disconcertingly large holes in my memory. I fear it might be getting worse, but I am not overly concerned. We will be rescued. I do remember that. Back on the Nova 5, when it was just me and the girls, that was tough, but we made it through. I'm a little hazy on the details, but I know we were definetly rescued! Meanwhile, we have one another, Mister Lister and I.
And there's always Androids.