Red Dwarf Drabble 1
TITLE: Untitled Set of Red Dwarf Drabbles and short stories: Drabble 1
RATING: PG-13, future drabbles may vary in rating.
SUMMARY: A slightly alternate universe from the original Red Dwarf series where Lister and Rimmer got together as a couple rather than completely disliking each other.
AUTHORESS' NOTE: Anyone who has seen the majority of Red Dwarf will know that Alternate Universe's are a completely viable excuse for this kind of thing... The characters in the series found a ton of them .... Well, at least three.
This is quite technically my first Red Dwarf fanfic as well as my first Lister/Rimmer ... Be gentle?
However, if this is well liked I shall continue with them here.
They skip throughout the series and aren't in chronological order. I just write on a certain topic when the fancy strike me.
“I have hard light technology now! I can touch things! .... I can touch YOU...” Rimmer marveled as he touched Lister's cheek suggestively.
Lister shivered and gave a triumphant laugh as he wrapped his arms around Rimmer's waist.
“Or better yet...” Rimmer thought aloud.
“Yeah..?” Lister replied eagerly
“I could totally get back at you for constantly reading my diary!” Rimmer shouted as he pushed away from Lister and pointed in his face.
“What?!”
“Where is it? I want to read it!” Rimmer asked as he went over to the bookshelf to scan for Lister's diary.
“Are you seriously telling me that you would rather read my diary than have proper sex for the first time?” Lister asked in utter disbelief.
“Yes! Now where is it?” Lister groaned and rolled his eyes.
“Fine, fine you smeghead. It's not like I intentionally hid it from you.” Lister went and pulled it out from his covers. “But I get to pick which entry you read first.” He said as he started flipping through the pages.
“Why? You started on the first page of mine.”
“Because I get a say in it and you didn't. Besides, you'll like this entry. It's the one just after I found the entry in your diary that had all those little school girl hearts that said 'Lister+Rimmer' on them.” Lister handed the diary to Rimmer after he got to the page he wanted.
“I can't believe you have the gall to reference my diary to me.” Rimmer blushed as he snatched the diary out of Lister's hands.
“Oh please, you'll probably give commentary on mine.”
Rimmer ignored him and started reading.
Diary,
I've just found out the most interesting and disturbing information: My git of a bunkmate is totally gone on me. As in 'head over heels off the deep end' type gone. It's so weird, I never would have guessed it.
Admittedly I was sort of pissed when I found out. I was having a particularly bad day and so I thought reading a bit of Rimmer's diary would cheer me up, and I stumbled across an entry that started 'I'm in love with David Lister.' I thought it was a joke! I thought he had figured out I'd been reading his diary or something. I kept expecting to see a 'Gotcha Lister, that'll teach you to snoop in my diary!' but even a few pages later it seemed less and less like a joke. Heeh, even after a couple pages he was doodling little hearts with our initials in them. If it's not a joke he really has gone off the deep end.
(Of course I'm not going to admit I'm more than a little pleased by this development. Even if I wasn't harboring a small crush on him to begin with (see earlier pages) I'd have a ton of fun torturing him with this little detail.)
But after I decided going up to Rimmer and asking him what the fuck he was on about would be a bad idea (and reveal to him that I'd been reading his diary) I calmed down considerably. I think I rather like the idea of Rimmer fancying me. Before I realized he was a total smeghead I thought he was sort of cute. Well... in more of an abstract way, but I sort of fancied him anyway. I sort of still fancy him to tell you the truth...
DAMNIT! I swore I wouldn't admit it! That git, what right does he have fancying me anyway ?! For all accounts and records he hates my guts! I've heard of trying to hide it when you like someone by treating them a little harsher but honestly, you'd think he'd at least let me HUM when me make our rounds the goit.(Then again if he did I wouldn't get nearly as much enjoyment out of them, he's too amusing to annoy)
Oh my god there's a eureka statement if ever I heard one. I actually do fancy the smeghead, it happens like that all the time! Wanting to annoy someone just to get attention out of them, it's amazing how things like that always work out like in the movies (even though the outcome usually has a lot to be desired and for the record does NOT come out like in the movies). Reminds me of the crush I had in 3rd grade.... And this line of thought is obviously starting to digress.
... I need to plot.
Damnit! Those bloody school girl hearts must be catching!
“Oh my god... You GOIT! How is it you can insult my throughout the entire entry and leave me feeling so unbelievably fantastic?” Rimmer asked as he finished the entry.
“Maybe it's because you recall what happened next?” Lister asked, coming up behind Rimmer and wrapping his arms around him.
“What did happen next? What were you plotting when you were scribbling those heart?”
“I meant in general, the fact that we got together. But I was plotting ways to let you know I was interested without seeming absolutely cheesy. Then Frankenstein was found and I didn't have to worry about it anymore.” Rimmer lowered the book and glared at thin air.
“I remember... You kissed me just before going into stasis and intended to let me agonize over it for 18 months. That was so horrible, no wonder I didn't properly repair the drive shaft.” Rimmer tossed the book onto his bunk and turned around in Lister's arms, wrapping his own around Lister's shoulders.
“Amazing how one little kiss can effect life as we know it.”
“LITTLE kiss? If I hadn't had my tonsils out already you would've given me a tonsillectomy! I was literally paralyzed for 5 minutes afterwards.” Lister sniggered and kissed him.
“And despite your apparent interest upon getting hard like you've yet to repay or retaliate to said kiss.” Lister pointed out.
“Something I do intend to rectify I assure you...”
RATING: PG-13, future drabbles may vary in rating.
SUMMARY: A slightly alternate universe from the original Red Dwarf series where Lister and Rimmer got together as a couple rather than completely disliking each other.
AUTHORESS' NOTE: Anyone who has seen the majority of Red Dwarf will know that Alternate Universe's are a completely viable excuse for this kind of thing... The characters in the series found a ton of them .... Well, at least three.
This is quite technically my first Red Dwarf fanfic as well as my first Lister/Rimmer ... Be gentle?
However, if this is well liked I shall continue with them here.
They skip throughout the series and aren't in chronological order. I just write on a certain topic when the fancy strike me.
“I have hard light technology now! I can touch things! .... I can touch YOU...” Rimmer marveled as he touched Lister's cheek suggestively.
Lister shivered and gave a triumphant laugh as he wrapped his arms around Rimmer's waist.
“Or better yet...” Rimmer thought aloud.
“Yeah..?” Lister replied eagerly
“I could totally get back at you for constantly reading my diary!” Rimmer shouted as he pushed away from Lister and pointed in his face.
“What?!”
“Where is it? I want to read it!” Rimmer asked as he went over to the bookshelf to scan for Lister's diary.
“Are you seriously telling me that you would rather read my diary than have proper sex for the first time?” Lister asked in utter disbelief.
“Yes! Now where is it?” Lister groaned and rolled his eyes.
“Fine, fine you smeghead. It's not like I intentionally hid it from you.” Lister went and pulled it out from his covers. “But I get to pick which entry you read first.” He said as he started flipping through the pages.
“Why? You started on the first page of mine.”
“Because I get a say in it and you didn't. Besides, you'll like this entry. It's the one just after I found the entry in your diary that had all those little school girl hearts that said 'Lister+Rimmer' on them.” Lister handed the diary to Rimmer after he got to the page he wanted.
“I can't believe you have the gall to reference my diary to me.” Rimmer blushed as he snatched the diary out of Lister's hands.
“Oh please, you'll probably give commentary on mine.”
Rimmer ignored him and started reading.
Diary,
I've just found out the most interesting and disturbing information: My git of a bunkmate is totally gone on me. As in 'head over heels off the deep end' type gone. It's so weird, I never would have guessed it.
Admittedly I was sort of pissed when I found out. I was having a particularly bad day and so I thought reading a bit of Rimmer's diary would cheer me up, and I stumbled across an entry that started 'I'm in love with David Lister.' I thought it was a joke! I thought he had figured out I'd been reading his diary or something. I kept expecting to see a 'Gotcha Lister, that'll teach you to snoop in my diary!' but even a few pages later it seemed less and less like a joke. Heeh, even after a couple pages he was doodling little hearts with our initials in them. If it's not a joke he really has gone off the deep end.
(Of course I'm not going to admit I'm more than a little pleased by this development. Even if I wasn't harboring a small crush on him to begin with (see earlier pages) I'd have a ton of fun torturing him with this little detail.)
But after I decided going up to Rimmer and asking him what the fuck he was on about would be a bad idea (and reveal to him that I'd been reading his diary) I calmed down considerably. I think I rather like the idea of Rimmer fancying me. Before I realized he was a total smeghead I thought he was sort of cute. Well... in more of an abstract way, but I sort of fancied him anyway. I sort of still fancy him to tell you the truth...
DAMNIT! I swore I wouldn't admit it! That git, what right does he have fancying me anyway ?! For all accounts and records he hates my guts! I've heard of trying to hide it when you like someone by treating them a little harsher but honestly, you'd think he'd at least let me HUM when me make our rounds the goit.(Then again if he did I wouldn't get nearly as much enjoyment out of them, he's too amusing to annoy)
Oh my god there's a eureka statement if ever I heard one. I actually do fancy the smeghead, it happens like that all the time! Wanting to annoy someone just to get attention out of them, it's amazing how things like that always work out like in the movies (even though the outcome usually has a lot to be desired and for the record does NOT come out like in the movies). Reminds me of the crush I had in 3rd grade.... And this line of thought is obviously starting to digress.
... I need to plot.
Damnit! Those bloody school girl hearts must be catching!
“Oh my god... You GOIT! How is it you can insult my throughout the entire entry and leave me feeling so unbelievably fantastic?” Rimmer asked as he finished the entry.
“Maybe it's because you recall what happened next?” Lister asked, coming up behind Rimmer and wrapping his arms around him.
“What did happen next? What were you plotting when you were scribbling those heart?”
“I meant in general, the fact that we got together. But I was plotting ways to let you know I was interested without seeming absolutely cheesy. Then Frankenstein was found and I didn't have to worry about it anymore.” Rimmer lowered the book and glared at thin air.
“I remember... You kissed me just before going into stasis and intended to let me agonize over it for 18 months. That was so horrible, no wonder I didn't properly repair the drive shaft.” Rimmer tossed the book onto his bunk and turned around in Lister's arms, wrapping his own around Lister's shoulders.
“Amazing how one little kiss can effect life as we know it.”
“LITTLE kiss? If I hadn't had my tonsils out already you would've given me a tonsillectomy! I was literally paralyzed for 5 minutes afterwards.” Lister sniggered and kissed him.
“And despite your apparent interest upon getting hard like you've yet to repay or retaliate to said kiss.” Lister pointed out.
“Something I do intend to rectify I assure you...”