Ficlet - The Way. PG.

[roadstergal]

A sort of a followup to Annoyance. I don't want to tie kahvi's lovely story arc into this angsty thing, though, so maybe think of it as an AU? It's just that Stoke Me A Clipper tugged at my sleeve and cleared its throat after I wrote Annoyance. Thanks to her for one of the images.

Crit is always good. Written for fanfic100. Little Damn Table.

Comments

[nessaancalime]

If you compare to their behaviour since gotten stuck on Starbug, I will say there are a trust and closeness that we had not seen since the first seasons. It's all relative! And duh! guys don't know how to talk :-)
And how do we or Lister know that this not what Rimmer wants? We know that he is extremely uncertain on his ability to do it, and he is reluctant about having to take on the personality required (I think this is a real sign of self-insight in Rimmer, I don't think season 1 Rimmer would have worried about that.)
Lister probably thinks that anything is better than Starbug , and of course he thinks being Ace is a good thing and something people should want. But I don't see why Lister should not conclude that this is what Rimmer always wanted, being an officer, a pilot and a space hero. He has certainly given that impression of the years, and usually Rimmer is never reluctant to let his surroundings know that he doesn't want to do something.
So Lister tries to convince him he can do it and that he can still be a kind of person that is not "too full of himself". The only place where he really pushes is in the funeral scene, but again, he has no reason to believe Rimmers reluctance is anything but bad self-esteem.

[kahvi]

Well no, I agree with everything you say here.

Yes, they are closer, and there is something akin to trust between them, but the word trust... I'm not sure I'd use it for what exists between them yet. I'll agree that the situation is much better in general, but they have a long way to go still. But they were getting there! They were making baby-steps, and then wham! SMAC. Heh. Fitting acronym. ;)

And actually, I do think this is what Rimmer wants. It's just that, as you say, he's become more aware of both his own limitations and the potential risks. That, and of course the fact that he hates the Aceness of it all. He doesn't want to be a git. But yeah, I think he wants it. But that, as I see it, is not really the issue. The issue is that Lister doesn't give him any choice. He forces his hand. And that is IMO morally wrong. It doesn't matter if Rimmer wanted to do so anyway, because we will never know. This isn't the sort of thing you should be pushed into, even if you really want it. I mean, (I think) it's wrong to push kids into going to certain schools or choosing certain professions, because it's a life-altering choice that they need to make for themselves. Even if you think you know better than them what is good for them, it is just not your choice to make. Even if they end up making the wrong one. I just feel very strongly about that. *shrugs*

[nessaancalime]

I agree with the pushing and the comparison to a parent is very apt. It is easy to get so wrapped out in knowing what is right for someone that you forget that it is never right unless they make the decision themselves.
But in a way it wasn't Lister that forced him, it was the old Ace by showing up, and then dying. What was Rimmer supposed to say - I chickened out and stayed with you? Maybe a few years back he wouldn't worry, but at this time he had been through "rather dead than smeg" and what would he be if not smeg if he said no to take on the Ace mantle when the old Ace had trusted him to do so?

[kahvi]

Even if that was his only options - and I'm not entirely sure it is - it still would have been Rimmer's choice to make. Yes, his options might have seemed bad or skewed to one side, but what Lister did was make a choice for him, or attempt to do so anyway. (I will agree that Rimmer could have refused to go along with Lister's ruse, but you could further argue that Lister knew he wouldn't do that, and was counting on it.) And his attempt succeeded - Rimmer went along with what Lister chose for him. And I think that makes a difference, morally speaking. I also think it impacted how Rimmer related to the whole Ace role. Had he actively chosen it himself, he might feel a sense of acheivement; that he chose to do something good. Now? Now he can't even take the glory for that, because Lister was the one who instigated it. I'm no Rimmer-expert, but that's how I would imagine his mind would work.

I think that's an interesting thing to imagine actually; how, if at all, Rimmer-as-Ace would be different if he had come to the role willingly and knowingly, as it were.