A few thoughts as I look at the season of exchanges ahead...
The longer I'm in McShep, the pickier I get. That's normal, I think. When you first get into a fandom, you get the *_* syndrome going and you try to mainline all you can because everything's so freaking *_* you want it all and want it all now.
Now, especially with the Match still in the rearview, Big Bangs and other exchanges coming up, I start thinking about what I want to spend my time reading.
More than any other trope or genre or anything else, I'm getting more and more annoyed, unsettled, and turned off by the WNG aka gay for you fics that seem to be so prevalent. I never really liked them, but now I actively avoid them if I can. (One of the few things aside from non-con that can make me backbutton if it's too heavy handed)
I once told djin7 in chat: I never felt so strongly about that genre before I came into this fandom. Now, I feel if I have to read one more line of Rodney's internal or external monologue about how not gay he is, but for Sheppard he'd totally go there, I'll do something appropriately violent.
And it got me wondering, not that I hadn't thought about it before, why it bothered me so much...
1. When it comes up in fic, I start wondering why it's important. Like...when Rodney starts talking about how not gay he is, I wonder why the author thought it was important for Rodney to say as much. And that brings me to the inevitable thought that the author (and this could be a misconception on my part, I realize) thinks it's important that everyone reading knows Rodney's not gay, but since he loves John, it makes the gay things he does okay.
Because this is what I get from that whole trope. Having gay sex is okay if you love someone, and are straight the rest of the time...
2. I've been told that gay for you can happen for real...and I'm sure it can. I won't deny that it can happen. And I'm sure I wouldn't mind the occasional story which had a plot that dealt with someone dealing and growing and figuring out their own sexuality in the scope of a new relationship...but I do not like reading someone's attraction to someone else being justified or denigrated...
3. It's kind of a tangent, but my ex, Fred, is straight. (He's also an asshole...there hasn't been a day in his life in which he hasn't insulted someone..but he never uses the word gay or fag, even to mean stupid or whatever...) He told me once that he doesn't even get the vague appeal attraction toward other men...but a gay guy could sit on his lap,(This happened in high school.) kiss his cheek, and Fred would laugh. (Quite frankly, he told me that all gay men should want to kiss him because he's such a catch) He's been hit on by other guys and never once said he was straight. He'd say something like...yeah, I'm a babe, but you're not my type. This is because Fred sees nothing demeaning whatsoever about someone thinking he's gay. He doesn't think it's disparaging if another guy thought he might be interested.
4. I've actually read fic that has had the words "I'm gay for you" in it and it makes me think about why it was so important as to be needed to be voiced in dialogue...like it's not okay for this character to like dick, in his own estimation, but this other guy is so special that he'll override his dickly objections. It's usually made to be a compliment...like this other character should be flattered by it...
If some girl ever told me she was gay for me...I would be out of there so fast. I don't want someone who's willing to "settle for" or "tolerate" being gay for me...
Most of the time, I don't see why it's salient to the plot of the fic...like it's not central to the plot moving along and it's not used for character growth or development, so it comes across as unnecessary and that always makes me uncomfortable.
It's not really necessary to always discuss sexuality. If you really want it to be this character's first gay experience, there are ways to write it without putting I'm totally not gay, but your dick rates the approved list in bright flashing lights.
And, this is really a side complaint, there's nothing wrong with being bisexual or pansexual or to think that sexuality is fluid and complicated and only social stigma is what forces people to limit themselves to applying labels. (My rants on social stigma on sexuality and gender is for another day altogether.)
Ugh. Anyhow, with this thought in mind, I'm going to start filling out my sga_santa form...so, um, if my writer ends up seeing this...um, take note?
Now, especially with the Match still in the rearview, Big Bangs and other exchanges coming up, I start thinking about what I want to spend my time reading.
More than any other trope or genre or anything else, I'm getting more and more annoyed, unsettled, and turned off by the WNG aka gay for you fics that seem to be so prevalent. I never really liked them, but now I actively avoid them if I can. (One of the few things aside from non-con that can make me backbutton if it's too heavy handed)
I once told djin7 in chat: I never felt so strongly about that genre before I came into this fandom. Now, I feel if I have to read one more line of Rodney's internal or external monologue about how not gay he is, but for Sheppard he'd totally go there, I'll do something appropriately violent.
And it got me wondering, not that I hadn't thought about it before, why it bothered me so much...
1. When it comes up in fic, I start wondering why it's important. Like...when Rodney starts talking about how not gay he is, I wonder why the author thought it was important for Rodney to say as much. And that brings me to the inevitable thought that the author (and this could be a misconception on my part, I realize) thinks it's important that everyone reading knows Rodney's not gay, but since he loves John, it makes the gay things he does okay.
Because this is what I get from that whole trope. Having gay sex is okay if you love someone, and are straight the rest of the time...
2. I've been told that gay for you can happen for real...and I'm sure it can. I won't deny that it can happen. And I'm sure I wouldn't mind the occasional story which had a plot that dealt with someone dealing and growing and figuring out their own sexuality in the scope of a new relationship...but I do not like reading someone's attraction to someone else being justified or denigrated...
3. It's kind of a tangent, but my ex, Fred, is straight. (He's also an asshole...there hasn't been a day in his life in which he hasn't insulted someone..but he never uses the word gay or fag, even to mean stupid or whatever...) He told me once that he doesn't even get the vague appeal attraction toward other men...but a gay guy could sit on his lap,(This happened in high school.) kiss his cheek, and Fred would laugh. (Quite frankly, he told me that all gay men should want to kiss him because he's such a catch) He's been hit on by other guys and never once said he was straight. He'd say something like...yeah, I'm a babe, but you're not my type. This is because Fred sees nothing demeaning whatsoever about someone thinking he's gay. He doesn't think it's disparaging if another guy thought he might be interested.
4. I've actually read fic that has had the words "I'm gay for you" in it and it makes me think about why it was so important as to be needed to be voiced in dialogue...like it's not okay for this character to like dick, in his own estimation, but this other guy is so special that he'll override his dickly objections. It's usually made to be a compliment...like this other character should be flattered by it...
If some girl ever told me she was gay for me...I would be out of there so fast. I don't want someone who's willing to "settle for" or "tolerate" being gay for me...
Most of the time, I don't see why it's salient to the plot of the fic...like it's not central to the plot moving along and it's not used for character growth or development, so it comes across as unnecessary and that always makes me uncomfortable.
It's not really necessary to always discuss sexuality. If you really want it to be this character's first gay experience, there are ways to write it without putting I'm totally not gay, but your dick rates the approved list in bright flashing lights.
And, this is really a side complaint, there's nothing wrong with being bisexual or pansexual or to think that sexuality is fluid and complicated and only social stigma is what forces people to limit themselves to applying labels. (My rants on social stigma on sexuality and gender is for another day altogether.)
Ugh. Anyhow, with this thought in mind, I'm going to start filling out my sga_santa form...so, um, if my writer ends up seeing this...um, take note?