Anyway I can...
Okay guys, here's an update for the world. Amanda and I had a long talk tonight, and I really wanted to clear up somethings with her and only by the power of God, we did. I know that there are a few of you reading this out there who are like "Yeah you say that now Eugene, but you'll be bitching later on..." and maybe that's true, but if I'm really gonna grow up, if I'm really gonna make this work, I gotta be flexible. Amanda is a really awesome chick, I mean that. I basically wanted the clear the air with her and we did. We both talked about ourselves and I told her somethings that needed saying, and she told me somethings, and we decided (per her suggestion) to take a break. So basically we'll still talk and all that good stuff, but we just won't be in a relationship, or the movie is on pause at the moment. And I told Amanda about how I am and I told her I didn't want her to feel trapped or held down by me. I couldn't do that to her and didn't want to do that to her.
I'm really glad we got to talk, because if I didn't hear any of that or didn't say any of that, she'd still feel trapped and I'd still be wondering what my next move was going to be. Basically this whole relationship is exactly where it needs to be, In GOD's hands. Because that's where it started and that's where it should be. And if it's truly His will that I am to be with her, then it'll happen no matter what, and dare I say it, I'm actually that cocky to say I believe this will work. I don't know why and I know it's stupid but I have a real honest feeling that this will work and am almost sure of it. I'm still planning on moving to Arizona, that's looking kinda bleak but I want to do it and I'll even go so far as to drain my bank account to do it.
Not just for her, just because I need a reboot and I need to grow up and spread my wings. Anyways to dust off an old chesnut "If you love someone, let them go, if they love you, they'll come back.". I have a feeling, she'll be back.
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"I can't be her angel now You know it's not my place to hold her down And it's hard for me to take a stand When I would take her anyway I can"
-John Mayer,"Neon", "Room For Squares"
I'm really glad we got to talk, because if I didn't hear any of that or didn't say any of that, she'd still feel trapped and I'd still be wondering what my next move was going to be. Basically this whole relationship is exactly where it needs to be, In GOD's hands. Because that's where it started and that's where it should be. And if it's truly His will that I am to be with her, then it'll happen no matter what, and dare I say it, I'm actually that cocky to say I believe this will work. I don't know why and I know it's stupid but I have a real honest feeling that this will work and am almost sure of it. I'm still planning on moving to Arizona, that's looking kinda bleak but I want to do it and I'll even go so far as to drain my bank account to do it.
Not just for her, just because I need a reboot and I need to grow up and spread my wings. Anyways to dust off an old chesnut "If you love someone, let them go, if they love you, they'll come back.". I have a feeling, she'll be back.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
"I can't be her angel now You know it's not my place to hold her down And it's hard for me to take a stand When I would take her anyway I can"
-John Mayer,"Neon", "Room For Squares"