I'm not the guy you remember, I'm the guy I forgot...
I'm kinda in a funky mood. Don't ask me why. I'm not in a bad mood, No, this isn't one of those Eugene is bitching entries...although I might start bitching later on in this entry but at least not in the intro. I've been trying to realize things about myself, I realize that I am TOO self aware. This is one of the main reasons I don't like hanging
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Don't worry about your looks. You look pretty fine to me. I know how you feel because at one point, or pretty much every point, I've felt like you have. Some people just hide it better. That's why in high school I was always wearing really ugly or baggy clothes... cause I thought I was horribly disgustingly, well, ugly.
It didn't help that the person I lost my virginity to was going around telling that to Secora, and even though he was just saying it to get her back (ie Jim), it still hurts to this day.
But you have to realize there is nothing wrong with you. You were born the way you were on purpose, and some people will be attracted to you, and others won't.
One thing I've learned to be true, and I hate that it is, is that if you think your ugly, others will see that too. But if you are confident in yourself, and all aspects of yourself, even physically, others will see that, and they will think it too. It's been hard for me to actually believe that, but I find it to be undeniably true =)
I used to go to clubs ALL the time, and I have absolutely zero confidence, and because of that, I wouldn't get a lot of people approaching me. I looked like I was having a bad time, I looked uncertain of myself, and people can see that. But if you go into a club with a smile on your face and you have a good time, and you KNOW you look good, guys will come up to you. It's this whole confidence thing. It works both ways, believe me!
I love you. I hope you feel better today. Keep smiling! =)
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