Closing your eyes and knocking you out...one punch at a time
Times certainly are strange. Very strange So much so that I don't exactly know what to make of it. I'm not too sure what I mean by that, I'm refering to the title of this entry. Allow me to back up for a minute and say something. I had an epiphany not too long ago. Monday night I think. Based on society's standars, I am NOT normal. I've never been normal. When I was little I always playing by myself...not because I couldn't make any friends, I had friends. But I like playing by myself. I always have. Years later That hasn't changed. I can still enjoy my company 100% without anyone else. I don't smoke, nor am I curious about smoking. I don't drink, nor am I curious about drinking. This HAS ALWAYS BEEN ME !
You see I've been functioning on a mindset that something is wrong with me...when actually something is wrong with them. And by them I mean the ones who can't accept me for who I am. Eugene is not a drinking, Eugene is not a smoker, Eugene is not a party guy, Eugene is not a club guy. Not because I'm afraid for because of my deepseeded hatred for people (lol). I'm not those things simply because It's not me. Never has been ! AND THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM ! So what if I talk funny !
You know back when I was little people actually had the audacity to ask me "Why do you talk so proper?". That used to get on my nerves until I realized that anyone who had to asked that question was a fuckin' moron. I know now that, all along I've been searching for an reason as to why I am the way I am, as to why I'm so different, searching for a way to correct the problem when THERE WAS NO PROBLEM !
I have come to accept this side of myself. I am who I am and I can't, no scratch that, I won't, no better yet, WILL NOT FIGHT that. It's who I've always been ! And if you can't be who you are then who are you gonna be ? You can't be me, I'm already me (lol). Maybe this is what Trapt was trying to tell me. Myabe this is why I've been listening to "Product Of My Own Design" over and over again. I mean if you listen to the lyrics...meh...just a hunch. Anyways there's something I need to do and, God save me, I hope it'll stick this time...dear God I hope I'm at that point...dear God I hope so. Thanks for reading. Love you all.
"Shadow Of The Day" by Linkin Park
I think everyone should hear this song...it's beautiful.
You see I've been functioning on a mindset that something is wrong with me...when actually something is wrong with them. And by them I mean the ones who can't accept me for who I am. Eugene is not a drinking, Eugene is not a smoker, Eugene is not a party guy, Eugene is not a club guy. Not because I'm afraid for because of my deepseeded hatred for people (lol). I'm not those things simply because It's not me. Never has been ! AND THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM ! So what if I talk funny !
You know back when I was little people actually had the audacity to ask me "Why do you talk so proper?". That used to get on my nerves until I realized that anyone who had to asked that question was a fuckin' moron. I know now that, all along I've been searching for an reason as to why I am the way I am, as to why I'm so different, searching for a way to correct the problem when THERE WAS NO PROBLEM !
I have come to accept this side of myself. I am who I am and I can't, no scratch that, I won't, no better yet, WILL NOT FIGHT that. It's who I've always been ! And if you can't be who you are then who are you gonna be ? You can't be me, I'm already me (lol). Maybe this is what Trapt was trying to tell me. Myabe this is why I've been listening to "Product Of My Own Design" over and over again. I mean if you listen to the lyrics...meh...just a hunch. Anyways there's something I need to do and, God save me, I hope it'll stick this time...dear God I hope I'm at that point...dear God I hope so. Thanks for reading. Love you all.
"Shadow Of The Day" by Linkin Park
I think everyone should hear this song...it's beautiful.