Untaught ability...
I must apologize for posting so many of these, it must be hard for you all to keep up. Sorry about that, I've just had a lot on my mind lately that I'd like to get off. Normally I'd be writing this in my book, but, God save me, I've been working on my graphic novels lately and the hand cramps are getting to me. Ergo, I find it a lot easier to type, and type I do. Sorry for the sullen opening. I'm not exactly in any mind state, I'm not sad, not happy I'm just content. I've been reading a lot of things, things that sound awfully familiar and seem to hit very close to home with me. First off before I continue to explain, allow me to make a very true statement.
WHEN GOD CLOSES A DOOR, HE OPENS A WINDOW !
I think in my case God opened quite a few windows and closed quite a few doors. I hate to sound like a shameless self promoter, but time and time again I feel that is something VERY different and VERY strange about me. Something almost uncanny. I know I joke a lot but IS IT possible that I am actually a genius ? I mean that in the literal sense. I took an I.Q. test quite awhile ago...4 years ago maybe, and the Tester refused to tell me the results. Now I know what you're thinking, what if it was really low ? Well actually if it was really low then that would mean I'm mentally retarded (clinically) and Ergo, would not be able to type this. And again I hate to sound like I'm bragging or I'm trying to make myself out to be something I'm not, but it's just something I feel more and more and time goes on. I feel like genius. That sounds so jerkish. Sorry about that. But is that so far-fetched ? I have this urge inside me, this urge to generate thoughts into actual things and try as I might I cannot stop this urge. I have this aptitude to create. I mean ever since I was little my Grandmother always said I could make up a story outta the clear blue. Eversince I was little I had this feeling that something about me just isn't right or doesn't fit. Maybe that was it.
Now granted I'm no mathematical genius, I suck at math. I'll shout that from the roof tops. I can't spell worth a damn, so literary genius is outta the question. I like science but I can't follow it completely. So I'm no scientific genius. BUT, I do have an knack for creation. I call this: Creative Aptitude...look both words up individually and you'll see what I mean. But then again this could all be in my head. But there is so much proof to back up my claim I'm almost certain that my being a genius is the window God opened up for me.
Now on to the door he closed. I fear that I quite possibly could be Agoraphobic. And before you start, NO that does not mean Fear of Open Spaces. It's actually quite complex, I suggest you look it up and get informed. This is merely a hunch though, but from what I read it sounds like I close possiblity. Then again I'll lay off self-diagnosis and let the professionals decide. But I was it would certainly explain A LOT of how I act, and I do mean A LOT!!
But every cell in body is telling me something is different about me. Something sets you part. And I don't mean that to sound holier than thou, or like I'm some big jerk or just some guy who wants to show off. Trust me, I am no show off. But honestly, this feeling grabs me every now and then when I'm just relaxing or watching TV or working on one of my many graphic novels, something creeps inside me and tells me "YOU ARE DIFFERENT !". Does this mean I am a genius ? I mean I joke about it often times but like so many people say "A lot of truth is spoken in jest.". Did I know this from the start ? Do I wanna be a genius just because that'd be cool ? Do I actually believe I'm a genius ? Could I actually be one ? What would change if I wasn't ? What would change if I was ? Am I just lying to myself ? I suppose this is why The Tester didn't tell me my results.
To be honest I cheated a little and took an online I.Q. test (Before you start, I'm well aware that they're not 100% accurate or trust-worthy, but I just had to get some kind of gauge). And I did. It came out to 160. I didn't post that to brag, but that would mean that I fall into the line of Exceptionally Gifted. And this would mean I share an I.Q. score with (my former hero) Mr. Quentin Tarantino.
In the words of the greatest super-hero of all time, "With great power comes great responsiblity.", Spider-Man Of course. Well allow me to para-phrase that by saying: "With great power comes even greater suffering.". And I don't mean actual suffering but there is a coalation between High I.Q.s and depression and in some cases certain forms of insanity or nuerological disorder. I'm already Arachnophobic, I could be Agoraphobic (depending on how that pans out), I already have my own eccentric issues with certain things, you can ask my brother. And yes, I am well aware that I'm crossing a bridge I haven't even got to yet but it's just...I don't know...maybe I'm looking for an excuse as to why I am the way I am. Maybe I'm just trying to make sense of myself rather than just being myself. But how I can I be what I don't know !? There in lies our quandry...well, let me say conundrum. I like that word. Oh man, I feel like I've said and bragged enough. I'm sorry. Forgive me for that. Anyways thanks for reading, as always you've been a good friend to me and I owe you for that. Have a good day and a good night. God bless you all. Later.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Instinct is untaught ability."
-Bain
WHEN GOD CLOSES A DOOR, HE OPENS A WINDOW !
I think in my case God opened quite a few windows and closed quite a few doors. I hate to sound like a shameless self promoter, but time and time again I feel that is something VERY different and VERY strange about me. Something almost uncanny. I know I joke a lot but IS IT possible that I am actually a genius ? I mean that in the literal sense. I took an I.Q. test quite awhile ago...4 years ago maybe, and the Tester refused to tell me the results. Now I know what you're thinking, what if it was really low ? Well actually if it was really low then that would mean I'm mentally retarded (clinically) and Ergo, would not be able to type this. And again I hate to sound like I'm bragging or I'm trying to make myself out to be something I'm not, but it's just something I feel more and more and time goes on. I feel like genius. That sounds so jerkish. Sorry about that. But is that so far-fetched ? I have this urge inside me, this urge to generate thoughts into actual things and try as I might I cannot stop this urge. I have this aptitude to create. I mean ever since I was little my Grandmother always said I could make up a story outta the clear blue. Eversince I was little I had this feeling that something about me just isn't right or doesn't fit. Maybe that was it.
Now granted I'm no mathematical genius, I suck at math. I'll shout that from the roof tops. I can't spell worth a damn, so literary genius is outta the question. I like science but I can't follow it completely. So I'm no scientific genius. BUT, I do have an knack for creation. I call this: Creative Aptitude...look both words up individually and you'll see what I mean. But then again this could all be in my head. But there is so much proof to back up my claim I'm almost certain that my being a genius is the window God opened up for me.
Now on to the door he closed. I fear that I quite possibly could be Agoraphobic. And before you start, NO that does not mean Fear of Open Spaces. It's actually quite complex, I suggest you look it up and get informed. This is merely a hunch though, but from what I read it sounds like I close possiblity. Then again I'll lay off self-diagnosis and let the professionals decide. But I was it would certainly explain A LOT of how I act, and I do mean A LOT!!
But every cell in body is telling me something is different about me. Something sets you part. And I don't mean that to sound holier than thou, or like I'm some big jerk or just some guy who wants to show off. Trust me, I am no show off. But honestly, this feeling grabs me every now and then when I'm just relaxing or watching TV or working on one of my many graphic novels, something creeps inside me and tells me "YOU ARE DIFFERENT !". Does this mean I am a genius ? I mean I joke about it often times but like so many people say "A lot of truth is spoken in jest.". Did I know this from the start ? Do I wanna be a genius just because that'd be cool ? Do I actually believe I'm a genius ? Could I actually be one ? What would change if I wasn't ? What would change if I was ? Am I just lying to myself ? I suppose this is why The Tester didn't tell me my results.
To be honest I cheated a little and took an online I.Q. test (Before you start, I'm well aware that they're not 100% accurate or trust-worthy, but I just had to get some kind of gauge). And I did. It came out to 160. I didn't post that to brag, but that would mean that I fall into the line of Exceptionally Gifted. And this would mean I share an I.Q. score with (my former hero) Mr. Quentin Tarantino.
In the words of the greatest super-hero of all time, "With great power comes great responsiblity.", Spider-Man Of course. Well allow me to para-phrase that by saying: "With great power comes even greater suffering.". And I don't mean actual suffering but there is a coalation between High I.Q.s and depression and in some cases certain forms of insanity or nuerological disorder. I'm already Arachnophobic, I could be Agoraphobic (depending on how that pans out), I already have my own eccentric issues with certain things, you can ask my brother. And yes, I am well aware that I'm crossing a bridge I haven't even got to yet but it's just...I don't know...maybe I'm looking for an excuse as to why I am the way I am. Maybe I'm just trying to make sense of myself rather than just being myself. But how I can I be what I don't know !? There in lies our quandry...well, let me say conundrum. I like that word. Oh man, I feel like I've said and bragged enough. I'm sorry. Forgive me for that. Anyways thanks for reading, as always you've been a good friend to me and I owe you for that. Have a good day and a good night. God bless you all. Later.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Instinct is untaught ability."
-Bain