grrrr
why is it that this boy has the ability to make me soo mad and so fudgin pissed off that im finnally rady to break up with him and i was sad about that cuz i always get sad about breakups, but then he....he....he pulls out the sweet boy i fell in deep deep like with!!!!! i dont think thats fair lol. We havent really talked too much in a few weeks except for the hi how are u, and then on to a fight. but tonite.....*sigh* he called me and he was like "baby dont say anything i need to say some things and if u interrupt me ill lose my nerve and i wont be able to tell u." he then went on to tell me exctly how much hes missed me lately, and how sorry he was for being an ass, and that he doesnt know why i actually stayed around and put up with it for as long as i did, but over this past week hes come to realize exactly how much i ment to him, since we werent talking or seeing each other and it was like a big chunk of his day was missing, and he wasnt happy. he then went on to say "baby i love you" =O i was in shock i expected an apology but i had no clue that he loved me! if anything i thought hed pull a "luv ya" which im used to getting from my guyfriends and hell ive gotten that from him a couple times but he pulled a full out "i love you" and....and....and....i didnt know what to say i was in so much shock and now im just giddy. i was allready to break up with him, but then out of nowhere he becomes the sweet caring nearly girl-like boy that i fell for and i think i love him too. I know this isnt the best situation and i know that ppl (my friends) are going to be cynics and tell me that it was an act just so i wouldnt leave him and shit but rite now im just going to be all giddy and happy and bask in the fact that he told me that he loves me :D
Karen, well karen is odd. She has this friend ricky whose a dear and she was completly kidding about wanting to be his gf and then we went and turned around on her and asked her out even tho she is still kinda dating jim ..... oi! thats all i gotta say. i think rickys better for her becuz hell give her all the luv in the world but i dont think shes all that into him. i think she just wants someone close rite now and jim is far away. but me no kno
Blaire, oi oi oi oi oi!!!!! grr that girl is just so infuriating! she sent me this long ass email telling me that our friendship is in dire need of a change since we have grown apart and the majority of it is attacking me, so i sent one back politely attacking her rite back. lol. and i told her im not a virgin and i told her that i smoke. so im thinking that the girl is finnally going to be done with me. god i hope so. cuz even tho i luv her and she is one of my oldest lately she is just so stuck up and prissy and shes causing drama everywhere and i dont want any part of that anymore!
school, well for the moment i am going to be homeschooled for another month tho i dont want to go back. gina is in adult school, moriah has completly crossed into middle college and all my other friends have graduated, and the only reason i was going back was for the socialness of it, and with only karen monica (who i dont like) and jen it just doesnt seem worth it. theres nobody left cuz a major chunk of the senior class was like "fuck it i cant stand this place, im gettin out now" so if i go back, i go back to nobody. the only thing i will miss tho is more twoards the end of the year when all the major senior stuff happens, and itll be a bitch to get my prom tickets, if i can still go to prom. i have no clue. and now it turns out that all the chem stuff ive done, may be worth shit and i wont get the credits for it, and the credits i do have might be put into CP instead of my APs that ive worked so fuckin hard on. i wouldnt put it past buckly to drop me down, she went in and forced me to drop chem without even telling me or hell asking me what i wanted to do with my own fucking schedule! but idk anymore all i kno is that its just doesnt seem worth it anymore. i dont want to go back but i know ill end up having too eventually......
LOL Gina! i went out with gina tonite, and it was so much fun since i havent seen her in forever! ive known her for my entire life, we were best friends way back in preschool LOL we talked a lot. we caught up. reminised. got into some of the heavy shit about our lives, and the ppl that we kno u have shipped off to iraq (ian better not get himself shot!), and it was great fun. lol. well maybe not fun but it was nice talking to a person who litterally has lived my life and the shit and understands how it feels to be the black sheep and how it feels to have parents that dont really want u around. weve decided that as soon as i get a job or she turns 18 were going to move out and leave our shitty lives behind. Also we are both going to be saving up for the next 9 months or so, so that the day she gets her diploma we are telling ppl that we are leaving for europe in 2 weeks and then take off for however long our money lasts. we are going to be completly spontanious about it and hell when we run out of money we are going to attempt to find jobs and just stay in europe forever!
Mike, i saw mike the other nite and hes great, he decided to give me free guitar lessons oh yea *happy dance* well i do have to cook for him LOL but thats easy. he started teaching me and i already can play the first have of pretty woman, its a hella easy song but for a kid with very little musical talent im proud :D LOL also for some reason he doesnt belive that i dont have a billion guys asking me out every 5 seconds. meh its true guys dont aproach me, i get a lot of looks and a lot of guys starting to walk up to me, but they chicken out every fuckin time lol none of my other friends would believe im that unaproachable if they hadnt seen it for themselves. i dont get it. im not some sort of GOd or super woman! meh....
well umm i have major plans with stephan and they require me to stay awake so ima go to bed
CIAO
Karen, well karen is odd. She has this friend ricky whose a dear and she was completly kidding about wanting to be his gf and then we went and turned around on her and asked her out even tho she is still kinda dating jim ..... oi! thats all i gotta say. i think rickys better for her becuz hell give her all the luv in the world but i dont think shes all that into him. i think she just wants someone close rite now and jim is far away. but me no kno
Blaire, oi oi oi oi oi!!!!! grr that girl is just so infuriating! she sent me this long ass email telling me that our friendship is in dire need of a change since we have grown apart and the majority of it is attacking me, so i sent one back politely attacking her rite back. lol. and i told her im not a virgin and i told her that i smoke. so im thinking that the girl is finnally going to be done with me. god i hope so. cuz even tho i luv her and she is one of my oldest lately she is just so stuck up and prissy and shes causing drama everywhere and i dont want any part of that anymore!
school, well for the moment i am going to be homeschooled for another month tho i dont want to go back. gina is in adult school, moriah has completly crossed into middle college and all my other friends have graduated, and the only reason i was going back was for the socialness of it, and with only karen monica (who i dont like) and jen it just doesnt seem worth it. theres nobody left cuz a major chunk of the senior class was like "fuck it i cant stand this place, im gettin out now" so if i go back, i go back to nobody. the only thing i will miss tho is more twoards the end of the year when all the major senior stuff happens, and itll be a bitch to get my prom tickets, if i can still go to prom. i have no clue. and now it turns out that all the chem stuff ive done, may be worth shit and i wont get the credits for it, and the credits i do have might be put into CP instead of my APs that ive worked so fuckin hard on. i wouldnt put it past buckly to drop me down, she went in and forced me to drop chem without even telling me or hell asking me what i wanted to do with my own fucking schedule! but idk anymore all i kno is that its just doesnt seem worth it anymore. i dont want to go back but i know ill end up having too eventually......
LOL Gina! i went out with gina tonite, and it was so much fun since i havent seen her in forever! ive known her for my entire life, we were best friends way back in preschool LOL we talked a lot. we caught up. reminised. got into some of the heavy shit about our lives, and the ppl that we kno u have shipped off to iraq (ian better not get himself shot!), and it was great fun. lol. well maybe not fun but it was nice talking to a person who litterally has lived my life and the shit and understands how it feels to be the black sheep and how it feels to have parents that dont really want u around. weve decided that as soon as i get a job or she turns 18 were going to move out and leave our shitty lives behind. Also we are both going to be saving up for the next 9 months or so, so that the day she gets her diploma we are telling ppl that we are leaving for europe in 2 weeks and then take off for however long our money lasts. we are going to be completly spontanious about it and hell when we run out of money we are going to attempt to find jobs and just stay in europe forever!
Mike, i saw mike the other nite and hes great, he decided to give me free guitar lessons oh yea *happy dance* well i do have to cook for him LOL but thats easy. he started teaching me and i already can play the first have of pretty woman, its a hella easy song but for a kid with very little musical talent im proud :D LOL also for some reason he doesnt belive that i dont have a billion guys asking me out every 5 seconds. meh its true guys dont aproach me, i get a lot of looks and a lot of guys starting to walk up to me, but they chicken out every fuckin time lol none of my other friends would believe im that unaproachable if they hadnt seen it for themselves. i dont get it. im not some sort of GOd or super woman! meh....
well umm i have major plans with stephan and they require me to stay awake so ima go to bed
CIAO