writing
I have not kept up my writing, in fact I feel that I neglect livejournal so frequently that it has become a medium of the past. And I need to not neglect it, if only to continue writing. Now that I am back in an academic setting, I have noticed that 10 years in business offices has resulted in much wear and tear on my intellect. I could have never claimed to be an academic elite, in fact I never felt that I fit into this world, but the starker contrast I find these days is positively discouraging!
My work has also become discouraging. Last semester, when I was desperately needed, I was able to teach all of my classes with no supervision. In fact, I was shoved into these classes last minute the day that they began! I must have done an acceptable job if I was hired for this year over the 200 candidates who also applied. Yet, my freshness has suddenly become an issue. No, to be fair, my education has become an issue. My grad school is new and not quite finished with the accreditation process. This could be a liability for the university, so I conceded to certain arrangements in order to have this position. These arrangements were to co-teach classes. So, I am co-teaching my Seminar with my boss, who wonderfully has stepped aside and has not sat in on one class. For my writing classes, I have to co-teach it with another professor (one from my undergraduate years) who is going through some tough things in her life. This results in a certain tendency to be defensive and overly sensitive to perceived insult. One last condition is that I sit in on the third class that I will never need to teach.
Unfortunately what this arrangement amount to is that I have one class that I am allowed to teach, verses the 4 that I taught last semester. Then I sit in on four classes taught by others. It is terribly dull. It isn't that there is nothing for me to learn in these settings, it is that all of the information is terribly dull review. (Repetitive? Yes, that's how I feel, too!) Sometimes, this gets me rather down. I have begun to be overwhelmed by that drab feeling of: I don't care what is or isn't accomplished today, I just want to be the hell out of here.
My work has also become discouraging. Last semester, when I was desperately needed, I was able to teach all of my classes with no supervision. In fact, I was shoved into these classes last minute the day that they began! I must have done an acceptable job if I was hired for this year over the 200 candidates who also applied. Yet, my freshness has suddenly become an issue. No, to be fair, my education has become an issue. My grad school is new and not quite finished with the accreditation process. This could be a liability for the university, so I conceded to certain arrangements in order to have this position. These arrangements were to co-teach classes. So, I am co-teaching my Seminar with my boss, who wonderfully has stepped aside and has not sat in on one class. For my writing classes, I have to co-teach it with another professor (one from my undergraduate years) who is going through some tough things in her life. This results in a certain tendency to be defensive and overly sensitive to perceived insult. One last condition is that I sit in on the third class that I will never need to teach.
Unfortunately what this arrangement amount to is that I have one class that I am allowed to teach, verses the 4 that I taught last semester. Then I sit in on four classes taught by others. It is terribly dull. It isn't that there is nothing for me to learn in these settings, it is that all of the information is terribly dull review. (Repetitive? Yes, that's how I feel, too!) Sometimes, this gets me rather down. I have begun to be overwhelmed by that drab feeling of: I don't care what is or isn't accomplished today, I just want to be the hell out of here.