a little bit about me
I first tried something called "crank" when I was 15. It was very yellow and bitter, but I loved the taste. I bought about $25 worth, on 3 different occasions over a period of 2 months. I started selling video games to get money to buy it, as I was too young to have a job. I quicky realized how much I loved the stuff, I told myself I would never do it again.
Flash forward about 4 years. I started hanging out with some Koreans at college. I'm caucasion btw. Anyway I was a big stoner, at a small private christian college, and one of the few white people that actually had multi-cultural background friends. I would always, and I mean every day for like 5 months straight, smoke bud, with my Korean friends. I was diagnosed with ADD somehwere around there, and began using Dexadrine. I talked alot back then, and shared pretty much every thing with my "friends" they asked if they could have some of my dex, and I gave them some. After giving them dex several times, they told me about how they would smoke crystal, and I had told them about my previous experience, and they offered to share, and I accepted. Specially because I was very depressed, failing several classes, overweight, and I wanted to be "cool" So I started smoking crystal. I used for about 4 months, basically failed out of college with a .08 gpa.
Basically, fear of the wrath of mom, helped me quit cold turkey. flash forward 5 or so years, to me living on my own in Soutern California. I smoked pot all throughout the years in between. Anyways living in so-cal on my own, not knowing a soul, I met a few people, and through them met some girls, that tweaked. Me being overweight, alone, single for way too long to mention, decided it was time to play the crystal game again. So I bought several 8-balls for myself, and hung out with these girls, and through them met other girls, and through them other girls, and would just smoke and hang out with girls. I was always just friends with these girls, everyone always tells me I'm too nice a guy... which is part of the reason I hate life so much. Anyway, I used everday for about 18 months, very heavily, and eventually I got to a real bad place, and decided it was time quit cold turkey. I was sucessful in this,
I moved back to my folks place. They never knew the real truth of it. But anyways I was clean for about 2 years. It was a very difficult 2 years, I would have vivid dreams of craving meth, in the dream I would score a nice bag, and even smoke some and feel great, and I would hide the bag, for later, and then I would go to sleep in my dream, knowing I had some great shit to smoke when i woke up. I would wake up for real the next day, excited about being able to get high, and then come to realize it had all been a dream. I had dreams like this for over a year. It was terrible, I would crave it every waking moment. But as I lived with my folks again, and I only put up with them as sort of a self-asigned rehab, to keeep myself in-line, as they have always been insanely strict, and invasive, my whole teenage, hell even sometimes now, they open my mail, go through my desk, and trash. This happened way before I ever did drugs, they're just nosy, people. my rooms was never my room, it was their house, their extra room, they let me stay in. I was never allowed posters on the wall or any sort of personal decoration.
At least now at 28, and working 90+ hours a week, I pay rent, and am allowed to decorate, the guest room.... Anyways. I started using again about 4 months ago. It started off the same old way, one time, then once a month, then only on weekends. now it's almost everday, and most days, I really need to smoke a bowl, just to wake up. Although sometimes I can go a day or two without, but that 2nd day I drink about 3 red bulls. I work the graveyard shift, so it's easy to hide my addiction as I work all night most of the week, and so I don't mess up my "sleep" schedule, I stay up the other two days as well.
Oh yeah, last night I did a line of Oxy Cotton for the first time, just a small line. i felt really good for about an hour, then it pretty much wore off. I might try it again, but it's definately too expensive for me to ever even think of forming a habit. One thing I've always been good at is paying bills first. My current addiction rate is about an 8-ball to myself every 3 weeks. I don't know anyone outside of my job. My friend that "hooks me up" I met through work, and he got fired. so I guess I know one person outside work, lolz. I'm such a damn hermit. I wish/need some folks to chat with sometime. God I just wrote a tons, lolz.
Anyway,
that's a little bit about me
-rdw
Flash forward about 4 years. I started hanging out with some Koreans at college. I'm caucasion btw. Anyway I was a big stoner, at a small private christian college, and one of the few white people that actually had multi-cultural background friends. I would always, and I mean every day for like 5 months straight, smoke bud, with my Korean friends. I was diagnosed with ADD somehwere around there, and began using Dexadrine. I talked alot back then, and shared pretty much every thing with my "friends" they asked if they could have some of my dex, and I gave them some. After giving them dex several times, they told me about how they would smoke crystal, and I had told them about my previous experience, and they offered to share, and I accepted. Specially because I was very depressed, failing several classes, overweight, and I wanted to be "cool" So I started smoking crystal. I used for about 4 months, basically failed out of college with a .08 gpa.
Basically, fear of the wrath of mom, helped me quit cold turkey. flash forward 5 or so years, to me living on my own in Soutern California. I smoked pot all throughout the years in between. Anyways living in so-cal on my own, not knowing a soul, I met a few people, and through them met some girls, that tweaked. Me being overweight, alone, single for way too long to mention, decided it was time to play the crystal game again. So I bought several 8-balls for myself, and hung out with these girls, and through them met other girls, and through them other girls, and would just smoke and hang out with girls. I was always just friends with these girls, everyone always tells me I'm too nice a guy... which is part of the reason I hate life so much. Anyway, I used everday for about 18 months, very heavily, and eventually I got to a real bad place, and decided it was time quit cold turkey. I was sucessful in this,
I moved back to my folks place. They never knew the real truth of it. But anyways I was clean for about 2 years. It was a very difficult 2 years, I would have vivid dreams of craving meth, in the dream I would score a nice bag, and even smoke some and feel great, and I would hide the bag, for later, and then I would go to sleep in my dream, knowing I had some great shit to smoke when i woke up. I would wake up for real the next day, excited about being able to get high, and then come to realize it had all been a dream. I had dreams like this for over a year. It was terrible, I would crave it every waking moment. But as I lived with my folks again, and I only put up with them as sort of a self-asigned rehab, to keeep myself in-line, as they have always been insanely strict, and invasive, my whole teenage, hell even sometimes now, they open my mail, go through my desk, and trash. This happened way before I ever did drugs, they're just nosy, people. my rooms was never my room, it was their house, their extra room, they let me stay in. I was never allowed posters on the wall or any sort of personal decoration.
At least now at 28, and working 90+ hours a week, I pay rent, and am allowed to decorate, the guest room.... Anyways. I started using again about 4 months ago. It started off the same old way, one time, then once a month, then only on weekends. now it's almost everday, and most days, I really need to smoke a bowl, just to wake up. Although sometimes I can go a day or two without, but that 2nd day I drink about 3 red bulls. I work the graveyard shift, so it's easy to hide my addiction as I work all night most of the week, and so I don't mess up my "sleep" schedule, I stay up the other two days as well.
Oh yeah, last night I did a line of Oxy Cotton for the first time, just a small line. i felt really good for about an hour, then it pretty much wore off. I might try it again, but it's definately too expensive for me to ever even think of forming a habit. One thing I've always been good at is paying bills first. My current addiction rate is about an 8-ball to myself every 3 weeks. I don't know anyone outside of my job. My friend that "hooks me up" I met through work, and he got fired. so I guess I know one person outside work, lolz. I'm such a damn hermit. I wish/need some folks to chat with sometime. God I just wrote a tons, lolz.
Anyway,
that's a little bit about me
-rdw