You put my feet back on the ground.....
You know...I deleted this post I made last week cause after I made it I thought to myself "ARE YOU CRAZY? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?". But here I find myself writing it again cause this problem just won't go away.
I'm am totally, gut-wrenching, pain in my heart, 110% smitten with this one person.
I haven't been into someone this much in such a long time & it's freaking me the fuck out. When I first met this person, this was gonna be someone I just had a little fun with & nothing more. Basically it was like this up until about 2 weeks ago when I really realized how much I like them. I mean - they don't get on my nerves like most people I date do, they make me laugh & smile uncontrollably, I have a blast each time I'm around them, & when they kiss me my whole body goes numb. I didn't give them enough credit - Never in a million years would I have thought this person would make me feel this way. And even with their little faults that they think get on my nerves......they actually don't.
Now do they know I feel this way? No. We've never talked about this area before & I'm not sure I could tell them this. Cause it probably wouldn't go anywhere. And I'm not gonna lie to myself nor do I live in a fantasy world - I'm really not that pretty enough for them. I know I'm pretty so don't think I'm just saying that to be girly, but I know this person could get way better. What they would even see in me just boggles my mind.
You know what scares me the most? Is I could actually get into a relationship with this person. Even with all my NO-RELATIONSHIP bullshit they are the EXACT kind of person I could get into bed with on a Sunday afternoon & listen to music to all day long - just having that warm feeling of being a couple. Hell, this is someone I could actually be faithful to. I mean no making out with anybody else kind of faithful. That one shocks me even more.
So yeah....that's where I'm at right now. I'm about ready to cut off my friendship with this person cause I can't handle this. I know that seems kind of petty, but that's how much I like this person.
I just can't be around them feeling this way with my heart being this broken.....
I'm am totally, gut-wrenching, pain in my heart, 110% smitten with this one person.
I haven't been into someone this much in such a long time & it's freaking me the fuck out. When I first met this person, this was gonna be someone I just had a little fun with & nothing more. Basically it was like this up until about 2 weeks ago when I really realized how much I like them. I mean - they don't get on my nerves like most people I date do, they make me laugh & smile uncontrollably, I have a blast each time I'm around them, & when they kiss me my whole body goes numb. I didn't give them enough credit - Never in a million years would I have thought this person would make me feel this way. And even with their little faults that they think get on my nerves......they actually don't.
Now do they know I feel this way? No. We've never talked about this area before & I'm not sure I could tell them this. Cause it probably wouldn't go anywhere. And I'm not gonna lie to myself nor do I live in a fantasy world - I'm really not that pretty enough for them. I know I'm pretty so don't think I'm just saying that to be girly, but I know this person could get way better. What they would even see in me just boggles my mind.
You know what scares me the most? Is I could actually get into a relationship with this person. Even with all my NO-RELATIONSHIP bullshit they are the EXACT kind of person I could get into bed with on a Sunday afternoon & listen to music to all day long - just having that warm feeling of being a couple. Hell, this is someone I could actually be faithful to. I mean no making out with anybody else kind of faithful. That one shocks me even more.
So yeah....that's where I'm at right now. I'm about ready to cut off my friendship with this person cause I can't handle this. I know that seems kind of petty, but that's how much I like this person.
I just can't be around them feeling this way with my heart being this broken.....