creep
It's that time of the year, yet again, where upon entering the -ber months, people in the Philippines (especially) start decorating their houses and putting up Christmas trees. They don't do it here...and I don't know whether to think of it as a sad thing, or a normal thing. But what is normal?
I left Manila a week and 3 days ago and before I left, I noticed that our Christmas tree was already in place in the lounge room. My stepmum wrapped a transparent plastic sheet around it and tucked it on the side of the stairs so that it would be easier to get it out for the next Christmas season. And so under the plastic sheet still hung Christmas balls and all sorts of decorations, also as to not have to a hard job of re-decorating the Christmas tree again. I was surprised that by the end of the October, the Christmas tree was already standing there. I remember walking into the house, and just standing there in awe at how beautiful it looked. And then a sudden gush of sadness came my way when I thought of how I wouldn't be around for the next couple of months to admire it.
For the past 5-6 years, I have been in the Philippines for Christmas. Whether it was spent with my dad, stepmum and brothers or with my relatives in Quezon City...the lights were sometimes overwhelming and overbearing, but there was just something about the atmosphere when it came to these times that the lights being overwhelming turned calming. This sounds a bit mushy, emo and cliche, but it definitely softened my heart.
Before leaving the Philippines, I had wanted to buy a parol for the house here in New Zealand. I wasn't sure how Christmas was going to be spent here, but I knew the Christmas spirit would not be in my heart. I wouldn't have that soft feeling in my chest...and I wouldn't have my head in the clouds either. Christmas here would just be a drab, with the rest of my friends here going home to their parents' houses and spending time with them...It's not like I was going to be totally alone. There's always my sister's boyfriend's place up north where she usually spends Christmas at, or perhaps at Paolo's house out west where I get to spend that time with his family and relatives.
*think happy thoughts Aubs!*
I didn't end up getting a parol cause I ended up getting sick a couple of days before my flight and I didn't end up having the energy to go out and buy last minute stuff. I didn't even get to meet up with people for the very last time because I was just too sick. I literally had to drive my way through the city with a splitting headache, an itchy throat and a blocked nose just so I could buy the bags that I were to check-in with.
My classmate, Reena, gave me an eye-opener today by mentioning that we only had 3 weeks of this term left. Three weeks before the end of the year...I thought that this weekend was a long weekend because of Labour Day, but it ended up being next weekend and I was complaining how I wish it was this weekend so I could rest a bit and then get back into work after the weekend's gone. She said after 3 weeks, I would have a whole week of weekends. Something like that. I don't know if I'm supposed to be looking forward to the coming Christmas/Summer holidays. I know where I'll be, and I know where I won't be, that being said, I know what I WON'T be doing because I'm not there. It's kind of sad really. But then again...
*think happy thoughts Aubs!*