Too much to too little
So I really wish I wasn't awake right now, at least, not for the reason I am. (all night packing) I have to pick up my dad at the bus station in 3 hours, and there is no chance that all of my things will be in boxes, which is strange considering that's all I've been doing the past two weeks. When hearing the newly graduated talk about what scared them, most seemed concerned about losing their relationships and never seeing people again. This never crossed my mind, since most of my close friends have been gone for a while, and I'm almost more in touch with them now than when they were here. Graduation was less exciting and more just relief that I didn't have to worry about the whole cloud of issues surrounding it. Although it may sound kind of weird, graduation this year wasn't too different for me than all the other graduations I've been to- frenzy of people, then frenzy at the bookstore, then frenzied running around, then quiet languid Obie summer. Familiar pattern. And now I'm supposed to be all excited about leaving, and instead I'm completely ambivalent. This is my home. It has been for a long time. Not the school, the place. Although I haven't felt a part of the school in a while, I definitely feel as if I'm part of the town. And now I'm going back to where I grew up, to a great city, and all I can think about is how much I'm going to miss here. Bah. It doesn't help that NY and here are conspiring against me- Verizon has pushed things back so I won't have phone or interweb for a week after I arrive, and for several reasons I will not have a bed. Also, my brother's been hospitalized again and I feel as if my family wants to suck me into the drama I want no part of. I'm afraid I won't get a choice. On the other side of the fence, I just stumbled upon a fascinating new group of friends a few weeks ago that I've been seeing a lot. They're friends I'd want to keep, but seeing how I'm leaving right after we met I don't know if it can happen. I have a total fascination crush on the ring leader and want to explore them but won't get a chance. I'm bummed. Obieland is punishing me. Anyway, this entry seems to have lost it's way. Hopefully my truck will make it safely to NY. Time to shake off the malaise and continue packing...