Fic: From Darkness, Light
Title: From Darkness, Light
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Morsov/Cheedo, War Boys/Cheedo
Word Count: 5,851
Summary: Cheedo's POV of her and Morsov's story in Darkest Before Dawn.
Warning: Non-con, combined Lima Syndrome & Stockholm Syndrome
They were discussing which of them was going to be the first to rape her. It wasn't a long discussion. They agreed that the one who'd killed the most enemies today should be first. Cheedo had expected it would be the one who'd killed Furiosa, but he'd left as soon as the war rig was parked.
The best killer of the group approached Cheedo. He wiped away her tears almost gently and Cheedo thought maybe he'd understand, so she begged him not to. But he just told her she shouldn't have made Joe angry, and then he pushed her to the ground.
He tore away her clothes and stared at the intimate parts of her. Cheedo tried to cover herself with her hands, but he pulled them away and threatened to tie her up if she didn't stop trying to hide. Then he started touching her breasts. Cheedo closed her eyes and tried to pretend it was the Dag touching her, but the Dag's hands were soft and the War Boy's hands were rough.
And he shoved his finger inside her much too soon. He was smearing something oily as a substitute for the wetness he was too impatient to wait for. Cheedo began to cry again. He didn't let it stop him from forcing himself inside of her, but he stroked her hair and murmured something she didn't understand in a soothing-sounding tone. Didn't he realize how absurd it was to try to comfort her when he was the one hurting her?
Cheedo cried at the injustice of the world and of nature itself that he could enjoy her body despite the pain he was causing her. It just wasn't fair. If there were gods, they were clearly evil for having designed people this way.
Then the first one was gone and another War Boy was forcing himself on her. This one kept trying to kiss her, which seemed unbelievably cruel to Cheedo. Wasn't it enough that he was raping her, why'd he have to try to make her kiss him too?
The third one told her how 'shiny' and 'chrome' she was and how their pup was going to be 'shine.' He talked the entire time he raped her. Cheedo wished she was brave enough to tell him to shut up.
She stopped keeping count after the fourth one. She hadn't understood what Capable had said once about going somewhere else when she had to breed with Joe, but she realized now what she'd meant. She felt like she was floating in the air and she could feel and hear the War Boys only distantly.
Then one of them was snapping his fingers in her face. "Hey! Hey!"
"I think something's wrong with her," another one said.
Cheedo realized they were finally done with her. She rolled onto her side and curled in a ball.
"What do we do with her now?"
"She's ours. Immortan said so."
"So she's going to live with us?"
"She can sleep in my bunk."
"Let's take her to Organic. He'll know what to do with her."
She recognized him. War Boys came to see them all the time, wanting to see Capable and touch her belly. But this one was just staring at Cheedo. She remembered him, of course. She would never forget his face.
Cheedo turned away, but there was nowhere to hide. Capable held her, shielding her from him. But then Capable left her to go accept the thing the War Boy wanted to give her. It was a ribbon as red as blood. Cheedo would have loved it ordinarily. But she felt that it was tainted somehow.
She listened to Capable and Toast argue about whether it meant that the War Boy was sorry for what he'd done to her and whether War Boys were even capable of being sorry for anything. Cheedo wanted to believe that he was sorry, that they were all sorry. But they couldn't be or they wouldn't do it again and they were going to do it again, as soon as the Organic Mechanic said they could.
She knew she shouldn't let Capable sacrifice herself for her. But Cheedo couldn't bring herself to speak up or move. She didn't want the War Boy raping her either. She just wanted him to disappear.
She didn't want to watch, but she felt that looking away would make her an even bigger coward, so Cheedo watched as Capable encouraged the War Boy to touch her and as she pretended to like it. That seemed so much worse. Cheedo couldn't imagine having to pretend she wanted it and liked it while she was being raped.
The horror of it shocked clear the paralyzing fear she'd felt since the first day and restored her control of herself. She was able to get the words out to apologize to Capable for letting her suffer that. Capable forgave her, but Cheedo knew she wouldn't ever forgive herself.
The War Boy who came to rape her the next day seemed to believe he had to be very gentle because she was called 'the Fragile' and easily damaged. Cheedo would have liked the way he touched her if she didn't know what it was leading to. She told him she didn't want to breed, and he seemed genuinely puzzled.
"You have to, you're a breeder."
She'd thought she was fortunate when she was chosen to be one of Immortan Joe's wives. Her mother had told her so. Men used women no matter what, but at least breeders were treated well and provided for, for the sake of their babies. She'd never realized the act of breeding itself was so horrible and would make her feel so awful.
The physical pain was the least of it. What was worse was that men got pleasure out of doing what caused her pain. And the very worst part was that they didn't care that it hurt her, that she didn't matter at all to them.
The War Boy Morsov came to stare at her every day. Cheedo learned to pretend he wasn’t there.
Then one day it was his turn. The Organic Mechanic allowed him and another War Boy from his crew into the cell. Usually War Boys discussed with each other whether they wanted her or Toast - though sometimes Toast decided for them if a particular War Boy seemed especially unpleasant. But these two must have decided beforehand. The other War Boy went straight for Toast while Morsov slowly approached Cheedo.
Cheedo backed away from him until there was nowhere to go. He raised his hand to grab her, but then he stopped. It happened several times. It almost seemed like he didn't want to either.
But then he was telling her not to be afraid and that was just silly. Though she supposed War Boys didn't know what it felt like to be afraid, being that they were actually eager for violent deaths, the thing that everyone else was most afraid of.
He seemed to believe that she should bear his baby because he was a very good killer. That wasn't surprising since Immortan Joe owned them all because he was the best killer. Angharad said Joe and men like him had killed the world.
Then he promised he wouldn't rape her today. She didn’t believe him, of course.
But he didn't do anything but hold her and eventually Cheedo relaxed a little. It felt nice to be held like this. It was different from the way Capable and Toast held her, it was more like the way the Dag held her. Cheedo immediately felt guilty for thinking that.
She stared hard at the War Boy, wondering what he was thinking about. What did War Boys think about? What did they dream about?
She was shocked when he asked her whether the wives hating breeding or just hated breeding with Joe. She didn't think a War Boy could grasp that there was anything loathsome about Joe. Joe lied to them and made them think he was a god and that he was good.
He looked guilty when she told him that Joe hadn't bred with her, realizing that it meant he was the very first ever to rape her. He'd said before that he was sorry, but he hadn't seemed to realize how much he'd hurt her. She thought maybe he understood now.
She wanted to keep talking to him and tell him what Immortan Joe was really like and how he'd beaten the Dag. It seemed like maybe he would believe her. Most War Boys didn't even listen.
The War Boy who'd raped her four days ago had kept praising Joe while he was doing it. It'd been so unbearable that Cheedo had snapped and told him what a horrible, lying gross old man Joe was. He'd just put his hand over her mouth to keep her quiet and continued.
But then Morsov's friend told him he wanted to leave and Morsov rose. He extended his hand to her, and it took Cheedo a moment to realize he was offering to help her to her feet. War Boys usually just got up and walked away when they were done raping her. He had just got up and left her for the next War Boy.
Maybe it could be different though. Cheedo gave him her hand and let him pull her up.
He was back the next day to stare at her. Cheedo decided to talk to him again. She went close to the bars, so the whole Blood Shed couldn’t listen. “Why do you come here every day?”
“I want to see that you’re okay,” he replied.
How ridiculous. Of course, she wasn’t okay. How could she be okay?
“I have bad dreams about you,” he admitted. “About people hurting you.”
Cheedo refrained from reminding him that he’d been first among the people who hurt her. He knew that, and he felt guilty about it. Guilty enough to let his second turn pass without taking it. But that still left her with all the other War Boys.
“War Boys hurt me every day.”
He winced. “Immortan commanded you to give us pups and there’s only one way that’s going to happened.”
“Some of them hurt me more than they have to.” She pushed aside the cloth covering her breasts so he could see the bite mark a War Boy had made that morning.
He looked shocked, then angry. “Who was it?”
“I don’t know his name.”
“Describe him.”
“My height. Not that thin so I think he’s still mostly healthy. No scars on his face, but there were weird circles scarred into his arms, in a line from his wrists to his shoulders. Oh, and he was missing half of his left little finger.”
“Chase,” he identified. “I’ll make him pay for it.”
Morsov didn’t look any scarier than other War Boys, not like that really scary one that the Organic Mechanic used to punish Toast. But she knew he had to be, to be the best killer on his crew.
“And I’ll make sure the others know they have to be gentle with you.”
It shouldn’t be Chip’s turn again. There were still plenty of War Boys who hadn’t been sent to breed with her or Toast yet. But the Organic Mechanic liked some War Boys a lot more than others and he gave things to the ones he liked.
“Hey, Cheedo,” he said, and he smiled at her.
He’d been the War Boy she’d been given to the day the Organic Mechanic had Toast punished for stabbing a War Boy. The Organic Mechanic had dragged Cheedo out of the cell so he could lock Toast in with that very scary War Boy, and he’d told Chip to make sure no other War Boys touched her.
When he was done raping her - he’d been gentle enough and seemed disappointed she wouldn’t kiss him back - he’d sat beside her and started telling her jokes. They were War Boy jokes, so Cheedo hadn’t understood them. He’d had to explain.
He didn’t try to kiss her again, but he said hesitantly, “You can touch me if you want to.”
Cheedo didn’t want to touch him or any War Boy. She just waited for it to be over, and when it was over, she felt messier than usual.
“No!” Chip exclaimed. There was blood on his manhood and when he put his hand between her legs, it came away bloody. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I didn’t think I was…”
Cheedo was puzzled. Then she realized he didn’t know it was her menstrual blood. He thought he’d hurt her very badly.
“Morsov is going to cripple me,” he said. He looked terrified. Then he started shouting that he hadn’t hurt her.
So Morsov had kept that promise too. That was good.
Cheedo was pretty sure that Morsov wouldn’t force her to breed this time either. She hoped he didn’t, not just because she didn’t want to, but because it would ruin everything. It would be worse this time, worse than with all the others.
She didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed when the Organic Mechanic insisted on sending Morsov to Toast and sending the other War Boy to her.
“You’re not going to cry, are you?” the War Boy asked.
Elvis. His name was Elvis and he was Morsov’s friend. And one of the war rig crew, which meant that he, too, must have raped her that first day. But Cheedo didn’t remember it, so it must have been after she’d stopped counting.
“No,” she said.
He seemed relieved. “Good. Morsov gets real upset if he thinks someone’s hurt you.”
Cheedo contemplated telling Morsov that Elvis had been cruel to her, just to see what would happen. But that would be a terrible thing to do and the Dag would be horrified. Lies were only to be told if they saved her or someone else.
He was very careful and it seemed like he was too worried to even enjoy it very much. Cheedo was pleased by that at first, until she discovered that it meant that it took much longer than usual. It just wasn’t fair.
She heard the angry shouting before the War Boys had even entered the Blood Shed. It reminded Cheedo of that awful day Joe had beaten the Dag. She was so afraid she could feel the fear like a sickness in her stomach.
Then she saw them. Morsov and that scary War Boy who was always hurting Toast. Morsov was bleeding. The awful War Boy had stabbed him. But he didn’t seem to realize he was hurt, he was struggling against his two friends who were keeping him from resuming the fight with the awful one. Cheedo was worried about him.
Until she realized what the awful War Boy was saying. He was angry that the Organic Mechanic had made Morsov breed with Toast - but he wasn’t angry at the Organic Mechanic, he was angry at Morsov. And it wasn’t enough that he’d hurt him, he wanted to hurt Cheedo because it would make Morsov angry.
Cheedo could feel herself shaking. The Organic Mechanic let him do whatever he wanted. And, sure enough, the Organic Mechanic made Morsov and his friends go away, and then he told his awful favorite that he could have Cheedo.
Cheedo flattened herself against the back wall of her little cell. Capable was standing in front of her cell, shouting at the Organic Mechanic. But she knew that wouldn’t have any effect.
Then Toast shouted, calling to the awful War Boy, offering to do anything he wanted, and he turned away from Cheedo’s cell and strode to Toast’s.
Cheedo slummed to the ground. She drew her knees against her chest and hugged them. It was like Capable and that other War Boy all over again, but even worse because this one didn’t just want to breed, he wanted to hurt her.
“Cheedo! Cheedo!” Capable had knelt outside her cell and was reaching a hand in. “Come here, sweetheart.”
Cheedo crawled to the bars and Capable stuck her arms through and wrapped them around her. “He’s hurting her because of me. I should have let him. She shouldn’t have to, not again. He already hurts her all the time.”
“No, sweetheart, it’s not your fault. And I think Toast will be okay. He wanted to hurt you to hurt Morsov, but he just wants her.”
Cheedo cried herself to sleep that night.
Morsov came to see her very early the next morning. “I’ll make Slit regret it, I promise. He’s always been an asshole, but I can’t believe he would…”
“Toast didn’t let him do anything to me. She took it all on herself.”
Cheedo felt tears welling up. Morsov reached through the bars and stroked her hair. It made her feel a little better.
“Why does he hate you so much?” she asked. The awful Slit was in the Blood Shed often and Cheedo had noticed before that he said nasty things about Morsov a lot.
“He’s just a jealous prick. Can’t stand that I’m a better lancer than he is. Can’t stand that everyone says I’m the best.”
He really did seem like the best War Boy and not because he was good at killing. “You’re a much better person than he is,” she told him, and he smiled at her and kept stroking her hair.
Cheedo didn’t see how having to choose War Boys herself was a good thing. It seemed very cruel to her. It made it seem like it was her choice to breed with them even though it wasn’t.
She didn’t know how she was going to choose among them. She supposed if she had to, she didn’t mind Chip. There were a couple others who hadn’t been too bad, but she’d only seen them once and she didn’t know their names.
She certainly didn’t intend to breed with Morsov. She almost liked him. It’d be extra awful to be forced to breed with him now.
But the Organic Mechanic assumed she’d choose him and told him when he came to see her. She knew he wouldn’t understand why he was the last War Boy she’d choose, that it’d hurt his feelings if she refused.
It had to be done by some War Boy and at least he wouldn't hurt her any more than he had to. So Cheedo told him to do it and waited for it to be over.
But it wasn't even starting. Morsov was looking troubled and telling her he couldn't.
She was pleasantly surprised when he asked to kiss her. He didn't seem like he knew how to kiss, though, so Cheedo showed him. But then he started kissing her all over and she realized he did know what to do. And it felt good.
He lifted her up and slid behind her, and continued kissing and touching her neck and shoulders and chest. She felt her skin heating and her sex growing moist. She wanted him to touch her between her legs, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She put her hand over one of his and he seemed to understand what she wanted, letting her guide his hand where she wanted his touch.
She'd almost forgotten what he was going to do, and she felt her fear return when he asked if she was ready. She wasn't, not really. But she had to get pregnant so they'd stop.
She was surprised it didn't hurt, but even more surprised that he didn't fuck her. He was inside her, but he was just holding her and kissing her and touching her like before. It felt amazing. It was almost like being with the Dag, but very different too, and not just because of the male part of him. She felt herself squirming for more, and then he did begin thrusting in and out of her, but even that felt good too.
She didn't realize how much she needed it when he asked her to show him how to stimulate her clit. His arm holding her solidly against him, his finger on her clit, his manhood inside her, and his lips on the back of her neck - it was an overwhelming combination of sensations. She wanted to scream, but she knew better than to.
He reached his climax not long after she did, but instead of getting up and tucking himself back into his trousers and walking away, he stayed with her, holding her and still planting kisses on her neck and face.
She couldn't believe how different it was from the first time. But back then she'd just been a breeder for him to use and now... Well, she was still a breeder, but he liked her as a person, enough to make love to her instead of simply using her body. Cheedo decided she liked him as a person too.
Having him there made her feel better. She could almost pretend he was the only one. The Organic Mechanic made fun of her, and Cheedo knew Capable and Toast thought it was perverse - they didn't say anything to her, but she could tell - but it wasn't so bad when he was part of it, so Cheedo asked him to be part of it every time.
She knew she didn't have to breed with him every time. Nobody was making her. But it made her feel better to be with him after the other War Boys had finished and left. She remembered how the other wives would bathe after a visit from Joe, as if they were trying to clean more than their bodies. Making love with Morsov was cleansing in a way, it helped to wipe away the feel of the War Boys she hadn't wanted to breed with but had to.
Some of the War Boys didn't like sharing her with Morsov, and some of them seemed to enjoy it more than using her alone, but neither type mattered to her. Most of them didn't like that she wouldn't kiss them and refused to touch them, but with Morsov there they couldn't force her to. She had no choice but to let them breed with her, but she didn't have to kiss them.
She didn't mind kissing Morsov though. In fact, Cheedo liked it very much. She liked everything about being with him. The way he had of keeping his hands and mouth on her while he was inside her, of making her feel wholly surrounded and enveloped by him, that made it possible to ignore everything and everyone else around them. And he never just left her when he was done, he always stayed to hold her and talk to her.
Before, when it was her alone with a different War Boy every day, even though she'd wanted it over and them gone, she'd always felt bad when they just got up and left, ignoring her like she wasn’t even there anymore. It didn't make any sense, she knew she should have been glad, but it’d just seemed like a final insult after the injury.
Being held by Morsov was nice and Cheedo liked it. She felt guilty sometimes, wondering if the Dag would be hurt by her choosing to be with a War Boy when she didn't have to. But she told herself the Dag would want her to feel good, even if it was with someone else, even if it was with a War Boy. She hoped it was true.
Morsov kissed her forehead. "I have to go. Better I leave before Organic throws me out."
Cheedo clung to him, refusing to let him pull away. She hated the awful things the Organic Mechanic said to them and it made her angry to think of the terrible things he probably told the Dag. But she hated being alone more. She missed sharing a bed with the Dag, and she missed sharing a cell with Capable and Toast.
He kissed her forehead again. "Got a run to the Bullet Farm tomorrow, but I'll come see you before I go and again when I get back."
"All right. Have sweet dreams."
"I'll try to dream about you."
Not war or Valhalla? she wanted to ask. But she didn't want to remind him of those things.
“I’ll try to dream about you too,” she lied. She liked dreaming of some green place or of the Dag. It was him she imagined with her as she drifted to sleep, though.
Cheedo had liked him as a person for some time now, and she liked him in the way that made her want to make love with him. But she realized now that she might love him and that was alarming.
Other War Boys had found out that it was she who decided which of them got to breed with her now, not the Organic Mechanic, so lots of them came to see her to try to persuade her to choose them. They tried to convince her they were the best and deserved to father babies, and some brought her gifts.
A few of them tried to persuade her that she ought to like them more than Morsov.
“He was spawned by Buzzards. And he was so stupid. Took him forever to realize he’d been saved by the Immortan. He used to cry all the time when we were pups. You don’t want to breed with that filth, Fragile. Pick me.”
Then finally, finally, she was pregnant. She wouldn’t have to breed with any of them anymore. And her cell was no longer locked. It was nice to be able to walk about the Blood Shed and go speak to Toast, but Cheedo had no intention of leaving. She didn’t know how Capable did it, but she simply didn’t trust that War Boys wouldn’t still try to force themselves on her.
“Come with me,” Capable urged her. Capable was very brave.
Cheedo did want to have a bath, but she remembered how all those War Boys had watched the first time the Organic Mechanic took them to the bathing pool. They probably would have attacked her and Capable and Toast if Prime hadn’t ordered them to go away.
Capable knew when there weren’t any War Boys there, though, when there were only War Pups. So Cheedo went with her. It was very nice to have baths again.
Morsov still came to see her every day. Cheedo appreciated it. She liked spending time with him and she’d miss him if he didn’t visit.
Though she couldn’t imagine why he’d think she’d be interested in guns or in his crew. Did he think she’d forgotten that they’d stopped her and the others from escaping and killed Furiosa and all raped her? Had he forgotten?
She denied it when he asked if she was mad at him, not wanting to make him angry. Men did awful things when they were angry. She’d learned that even before the vault and Immortan Joe.
But he didn’t get angry at her. He just seemed disappointed. Sad even.
Cheedo realized the guns were important to him and he wanted to show them off to the people who mattered to him. He’d drawn no distinction between his War Boy friends and her, as if he didn’t realize she was still a breeder. But he’d also equated her with the new gun as the best things he’d ever had. She wasn’t a thing.
It seemed like there were two totally different sets of thoughts in his head that contradicted each other. She didn’t know how he could believe both. There was probably a word or a term for it. Toast would know.
Cheedo refused to give Morsov the War Boy the satisfaction of ‘witnessing’ his guns, but she still liked Morsov the person.
She wished Capable hadn’t forced her to leave the Blood Shed, though she understood that it was to help Toast. Cheedo didn’t want to take care of War Pups - she had nothing against them, she just didn’t want to. And she hated the way the older boys and men in the Citadel stared at her.
Seeing the war rig should have reminded Cheedo of the worst day ever, but it only reminded her that Morsov was here somewhere. Cheedo found that she wanted his company more than Capable’s. Capable could only talk to War Boys and let them hurt her instead of Cheedo, but Morsov could make them leave her alone.
She worried she’d hurt Capable’s feelings by letting her know she wanted to stay with Morsov instead of spending the day with her. But she just felt so much better with his arm around her.
She’d scarcely been able to notice anything about the rest of the Citadel before, all her attention had been on the Boys who’d seemed ready to grab her. Now she realized it wasn’t even as dark down here as it’d seemed. There were vents in the outer areas to let in air and light, and the inner caves had lanterns hung at regular intervals.
The old War Boy Morsov called Ace stared at Cheedo, but it wasn’t like how the others stared at her. He looked like the sight of her hurt him somehow. Cheedo realized that he’d never come to the Blood Shed to breed with her or Toast. She supposed the Organic Mechanic had never chosen him, but that seemed odd. He hadn’t stayed to rape her the day of the escape either.
Thinking of that day should have ruined the safe feeling Morsov gave her. But that day seemed very distant, like it was so long ago and so far away. And he was right here and so solid.
She heard War Boys whispering to each other about her and him.
“Why do you think she likes him so much?”
“Capable likes me.”
“Capable likes everyone, but she doesn’t let anyone touch her for more than a moment.”
“He fixed her, made her stop crying.”
“Yeah, but how?”
By treating her like a person. But Capable was trying to teach them that, and if they weren’t learning from her, they weren’t going to listen to Cheedo. So Cheedo ignored them and concentrated instead on what Morsov’s friend Elvis was saying about his car.
There were bridges once that were massive constructs of steel or stone spanning vast distances. Cheedo had marveled at the photographs and drawings in the books in the vault. The bridges between the three rock towers that formed the Citadel, however, were merely woven rope. If a person slipped while crossing them, she would fall and die.
Cheedo let go of the rope meant to help crossers steady themselves. She turned to face Morsov and put her arms around his neck. She knew he wouldn’t let her fall. She looked into his eyes, trying to make sense of the way she felt.
She loved him and she was certain that he loved her too. And she missed making love with him. It didn’t matter that she was pregnant and she didn’t have to breed anymore - what they did wasn’t breeding. She wanted to be with him.
The cave was totally dark and it was disconcerting at first, but knowing she couldn’t be seen by anyone made Cheedo braver. It seemed to make Morsov different too. He wasn’t slow and gentle once he was inside her, like he usually was, but Cheedo found that she didn’t mind. She wouldn’t have thought it could feel good like that, but it did.
She wished he wouldn’t have reminded her of the past, though she was glad he no longer tried to claim he hadn’t realized what he was doing when he’d done it. Maybe that was true of other War Boys, maybe they really were so brainwashed that they believed everything they did in Joe’s name was okay, but not Morsov. He was different.
She didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to need her to say anything. He just leaned into her, seeming to enjoy being held by her as much as she liked being held by him. Cheedo clutched him tighter. This had done nothing to breed more pups for the Citadel and Joe. No one else had seen it or would ever know about it. It might as well as never happened… Except for her and him.
“Chip asked me to go listen to the Doof Warrior play.”
“Do you want to go?” Morsov asked her.
Cheedo had only heard the Doof Warrior’s music as she waited, heartbroken and terrified, for Immortan Joe to reach them so the war rig crew could hand her and the other wives back to him. Except then he’d given her to them and given Capable and Toast to the rest of the Citadel’s War Boys.
But that was the past and it was over and done and dwelling on it would only cause her pain. Maybe she’d hear something different if she heard the Doof Warrior play again. “Yes.”
Cheedo and the other wives could sing and play musical instruments. Immortan Joe had Miss Giddy teach them, and one of their duties as his wives had been to entertain him when he wanted entertainment. Cheedo had liked that part, and she hadn’t understood why the others were so angry about it. She understood now that it was just another thing Joe took from them that they didn’t want to give him.
She confided this to Morsov.
“You can sing?! I’d love to hear you sing.”
But Cheedo didn’t feel like singing, so she didn’t. And Morsov didn’t demand that she sing.
The music the Doof Warrior made with his guitar were very different from the music Capable made with hers, but it didn’t sound bad. It was interesting. The drummers were very good too.
Cheedo told Chip he and the others sounded good and he looked very happy. He looked like he might have tried to kiss her if he wasn’t afraid of Morsov beating him. Cheedo snuggled against Morsov, grateful for his presence. She liked Chip but only as a person, though he couldn’t seem to understand that.
There were other War Boys there, and War Pups and platform guardians and other people who weren’t kept in chains, though Cheedo knew they were all slaves, not just the ones kept in chains or cages. Capable was there too, petting a little boy as she listened.
Cheedo felt happy. Until she remembered the Dag imprisoned alone up in the vault, and Angharad with Joe, and Toast bitterly unhappy, with War Boys wanting to hurt her even though she was pregnant. She felt guilty and ashamed then.
Morsov seemed to sense that her mood had fallen. He kissed her forehead and hugged her tighter. It made her feel better, but then she felt guilty all over again because the others didn’t have anyone to make them feel better. She was lucky to have Morsov.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Morsov/Cheedo, War Boys/Cheedo
Word Count: 5,851
Summary: Cheedo's POV of her and Morsov's story in Darkest Before Dawn.
Warning: Non-con, combined Lima Syndrome & Stockholm Syndrome
They were discussing which of them was going to be the first to rape her. It wasn't a long discussion. They agreed that the one who'd killed the most enemies today should be first. Cheedo had expected it would be the one who'd killed Furiosa, but he'd left as soon as the war rig was parked.
The best killer of the group approached Cheedo. He wiped away her tears almost gently and Cheedo thought maybe he'd understand, so she begged him not to. But he just told her she shouldn't have made Joe angry, and then he pushed her to the ground.
He tore away her clothes and stared at the intimate parts of her. Cheedo tried to cover herself with her hands, but he pulled them away and threatened to tie her up if she didn't stop trying to hide. Then he started touching her breasts. Cheedo closed her eyes and tried to pretend it was the Dag touching her, but the Dag's hands were soft and the War Boy's hands were rough.
And he shoved his finger inside her much too soon. He was smearing something oily as a substitute for the wetness he was too impatient to wait for. Cheedo began to cry again. He didn't let it stop him from forcing himself inside of her, but he stroked her hair and murmured something she didn't understand in a soothing-sounding tone. Didn't he realize how absurd it was to try to comfort her when he was the one hurting her?
Cheedo cried at the injustice of the world and of nature itself that he could enjoy her body despite the pain he was causing her. It just wasn't fair. If there were gods, they were clearly evil for having designed people this way.
Then the first one was gone and another War Boy was forcing himself on her. This one kept trying to kiss her, which seemed unbelievably cruel to Cheedo. Wasn't it enough that he was raping her, why'd he have to try to make her kiss him too?
The third one told her how 'shiny' and 'chrome' she was and how their pup was going to be 'shine.' He talked the entire time he raped her. Cheedo wished she was brave enough to tell him to shut up.
She stopped keeping count after the fourth one. She hadn't understood what Capable had said once about going somewhere else when she had to breed with Joe, but she realized now what she'd meant. She felt like she was floating in the air and she could feel and hear the War Boys only distantly.
Then one of them was snapping his fingers in her face. "Hey! Hey!"
"I think something's wrong with her," another one said.
Cheedo realized they were finally done with her. She rolled onto her side and curled in a ball.
"What do we do with her now?"
"She's ours. Immortan said so."
"So she's going to live with us?"
"She can sleep in my bunk."
"Let's take her to Organic. He'll know what to do with her."
She recognized him. War Boys came to see them all the time, wanting to see Capable and touch her belly. But this one was just staring at Cheedo. She remembered him, of course. She would never forget his face.
Cheedo turned away, but there was nowhere to hide. Capable held her, shielding her from him. But then Capable left her to go accept the thing the War Boy wanted to give her. It was a ribbon as red as blood. Cheedo would have loved it ordinarily. But she felt that it was tainted somehow.
She listened to Capable and Toast argue about whether it meant that the War Boy was sorry for what he'd done to her and whether War Boys were even capable of being sorry for anything. Cheedo wanted to believe that he was sorry, that they were all sorry. But they couldn't be or they wouldn't do it again and they were going to do it again, as soon as the Organic Mechanic said they could.
She knew she shouldn't let Capable sacrifice herself for her. But Cheedo couldn't bring herself to speak up or move. She didn't want the War Boy raping her either. She just wanted him to disappear.
She didn't want to watch, but she felt that looking away would make her an even bigger coward, so Cheedo watched as Capable encouraged the War Boy to touch her and as she pretended to like it. That seemed so much worse. Cheedo couldn't imagine having to pretend she wanted it and liked it while she was being raped.
The horror of it shocked clear the paralyzing fear she'd felt since the first day and restored her control of herself. She was able to get the words out to apologize to Capable for letting her suffer that. Capable forgave her, but Cheedo knew she wouldn't ever forgive herself.
The War Boy who came to rape her the next day seemed to believe he had to be very gentle because she was called 'the Fragile' and easily damaged. Cheedo would have liked the way he touched her if she didn't know what it was leading to. She told him she didn't want to breed, and he seemed genuinely puzzled.
"You have to, you're a breeder."
She'd thought she was fortunate when she was chosen to be one of Immortan Joe's wives. Her mother had told her so. Men used women no matter what, but at least breeders were treated well and provided for, for the sake of their babies. She'd never realized the act of breeding itself was so horrible and would make her feel so awful.
The physical pain was the least of it. What was worse was that men got pleasure out of doing what caused her pain. And the very worst part was that they didn't care that it hurt her, that she didn't matter at all to them.
The War Boy Morsov came to stare at her every day. Cheedo learned to pretend he wasn’t there.
Then one day it was his turn. The Organic Mechanic allowed him and another War Boy from his crew into the cell. Usually War Boys discussed with each other whether they wanted her or Toast - though sometimes Toast decided for them if a particular War Boy seemed especially unpleasant. But these two must have decided beforehand. The other War Boy went straight for Toast while Morsov slowly approached Cheedo.
Cheedo backed away from him until there was nowhere to go. He raised his hand to grab her, but then he stopped. It happened several times. It almost seemed like he didn't want to either.
But then he was telling her not to be afraid and that was just silly. Though she supposed War Boys didn't know what it felt like to be afraid, being that they were actually eager for violent deaths, the thing that everyone else was most afraid of.
He seemed to believe that she should bear his baby because he was a very good killer. That wasn't surprising since Immortan Joe owned them all because he was the best killer. Angharad said Joe and men like him had killed the world.
Then he promised he wouldn't rape her today. She didn’t believe him, of course.
But he didn't do anything but hold her and eventually Cheedo relaxed a little. It felt nice to be held like this. It was different from the way Capable and Toast held her, it was more like the way the Dag held her. Cheedo immediately felt guilty for thinking that.
She stared hard at the War Boy, wondering what he was thinking about. What did War Boys think about? What did they dream about?
She was shocked when he asked her whether the wives hating breeding or just hated breeding with Joe. She didn't think a War Boy could grasp that there was anything loathsome about Joe. Joe lied to them and made them think he was a god and that he was good.
He looked guilty when she told him that Joe hadn't bred with her, realizing that it meant he was the very first ever to rape her. He'd said before that he was sorry, but he hadn't seemed to realize how much he'd hurt her. She thought maybe he understood now.
She wanted to keep talking to him and tell him what Immortan Joe was really like and how he'd beaten the Dag. It seemed like maybe he would believe her. Most War Boys didn't even listen.
The War Boy who'd raped her four days ago had kept praising Joe while he was doing it. It'd been so unbearable that Cheedo had snapped and told him what a horrible, lying gross old man Joe was. He'd just put his hand over her mouth to keep her quiet and continued.
But then Morsov's friend told him he wanted to leave and Morsov rose. He extended his hand to her, and it took Cheedo a moment to realize he was offering to help her to her feet. War Boys usually just got up and walked away when they were done raping her. He had just got up and left her for the next War Boy.
Maybe it could be different though. Cheedo gave him her hand and let him pull her up.
He was back the next day to stare at her. Cheedo decided to talk to him again. She went close to the bars, so the whole Blood Shed couldn’t listen. “Why do you come here every day?”
“I want to see that you’re okay,” he replied.
How ridiculous. Of course, she wasn’t okay. How could she be okay?
“I have bad dreams about you,” he admitted. “About people hurting you.”
Cheedo refrained from reminding him that he’d been first among the people who hurt her. He knew that, and he felt guilty about it. Guilty enough to let his second turn pass without taking it. But that still left her with all the other War Boys.
“War Boys hurt me every day.”
He winced. “Immortan commanded you to give us pups and there’s only one way that’s going to happened.”
“Some of them hurt me more than they have to.” She pushed aside the cloth covering her breasts so he could see the bite mark a War Boy had made that morning.
He looked shocked, then angry. “Who was it?”
“I don’t know his name.”
“Describe him.”
“My height. Not that thin so I think he’s still mostly healthy. No scars on his face, but there were weird circles scarred into his arms, in a line from his wrists to his shoulders. Oh, and he was missing half of his left little finger.”
“Chase,” he identified. “I’ll make him pay for it.”
Morsov didn’t look any scarier than other War Boys, not like that really scary one that the Organic Mechanic used to punish Toast. But she knew he had to be, to be the best killer on his crew.
“And I’ll make sure the others know they have to be gentle with you.”
It shouldn’t be Chip’s turn again. There were still plenty of War Boys who hadn’t been sent to breed with her or Toast yet. But the Organic Mechanic liked some War Boys a lot more than others and he gave things to the ones he liked.
“Hey, Cheedo,” he said, and he smiled at her.
He’d been the War Boy she’d been given to the day the Organic Mechanic had Toast punished for stabbing a War Boy. The Organic Mechanic had dragged Cheedo out of the cell so he could lock Toast in with that very scary War Boy, and he’d told Chip to make sure no other War Boys touched her.
When he was done raping her - he’d been gentle enough and seemed disappointed she wouldn’t kiss him back - he’d sat beside her and started telling her jokes. They were War Boy jokes, so Cheedo hadn’t understood them. He’d had to explain.
He didn’t try to kiss her again, but he said hesitantly, “You can touch me if you want to.”
Cheedo didn’t want to touch him or any War Boy. She just waited for it to be over, and when it was over, she felt messier than usual.
“No!” Chip exclaimed. There was blood on his manhood and when he put his hand between her legs, it came away bloody. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I didn’t think I was…”
Cheedo was puzzled. Then she realized he didn’t know it was her menstrual blood. He thought he’d hurt her very badly.
“Morsov is going to cripple me,” he said. He looked terrified. Then he started shouting that he hadn’t hurt her.
So Morsov had kept that promise too. That was good.
Cheedo was pretty sure that Morsov wouldn’t force her to breed this time either. She hoped he didn’t, not just because she didn’t want to, but because it would ruin everything. It would be worse this time, worse than with all the others.
She didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed when the Organic Mechanic insisted on sending Morsov to Toast and sending the other War Boy to her.
“You’re not going to cry, are you?” the War Boy asked.
Elvis. His name was Elvis and he was Morsov’s friend. And one of the war rig crew, which meant that he, too, must have raped her that first day. But Cheedo didn’t remember it, so it must have been after she’d stopped counting.
“No,” she said.
He seemed relieved. “Good. Morsov gets real upset if he thinks someone’s hurt you.”
Cheedo contemplated telling Morsov that Elvis had been cruel to her, just to see what would happen. But that would be a terrible thing to do and the Dag would be horrified. Lies were only to be told if they saved her or someone else.
He was very careful and it seemed like he was too worried to even enjoy it very much. Cheedo was pleased by that at first, until she discovered that it meant that it took much longer than usual. It just wasn’t fair.
She heard the angry shouting before the War Boys had even entered the Blood Shed. It reminded Cheedo of that awful day Joe had beaten the Dag. She was so afraid she could feel the fear like a sickness in her stomach.
Then she saw them. Morsov and that scary War Boy who was always hurting Toast. Morsov was bleeding. The awful War Boy had stabbed him. But he didn’t seem to realize he was hurt, he was struggling against his two friends who were keeping him from resuming the fight with the awful one. Cheedo was worried about him.
Until she realized what the awful War Boy was saying. He was angry that the Organic Mechanic had made Morsov breed with Toast - but he wasn’t angry at the Organic Mechanic, he was angry at Morsov. And it wasn’t enough that he’d hurt him, he wanted to hurt Cheedo because it would make Morsov angry.
Cheedo could feel herself shaking. The Organic Mechanic let him do whatever he wanted. And, sure enough, the Organic Mechanic made Morsov and his friends go away, and then he told his awful favorite that he could have Cheedo.
Cheedo flattened herself against the back wall of her little cell. Capable was standing in front of her cell, shouting at the Organic Mechanic. But she knew that wouldn’t have any effect.
Then Toast shouted, calling to the awful War Boy, offering to do anything he wanted, and he turned away from Cheedo’s cell and strode to Toast’s.
Cheedo slummed to the ground. She drew her knees against her chest and hugged them. It was like Capable and that other War Boy all over again, but even worse because this one didn’t just want to breed, he wanted to hurt her.
“Cheedo! Cheedo!” Capable had knelt outside her cell and was reaching a hand in. “Come here, sweetheart.”
Cheedo crawled to the bars and Capable stuck her arms through and wrapped them around her. “He’s hurting her because of me. I should have let him. She shouldn’t have to, not again. He already hurts her all the time.”
“No, sweetheart, it’s not your fault. And I think Toast will be okay. He wanted to hurt you to hurt Morsov, but he just wants her.”
Cheedo cried herself to sleep that night.
Morsov came to see her very early the next morning. “I’ll make Slit regret it, I promise. He’s always been an asshole, but I can’t believe he would…”
“Toast didn’t let him do anything to me. She took it all on herself.”
Cheedo felt tears welling up. Morsov reached through the bars and stroked her hair. It made her feel a little better.
“Why does he hate you so much?” she asked. The awful Slit was in the Blood Shed often and Cheedo had noticed before that he said nasty things about Morsov a lot.
“He’s just a jealous prick. Can’t stand that I’m a better lancer than he is. Can’t stand that everyone says I’m the best.”
He really did seem like the best War Boy and not because he was good at killing. “You’re a much better person than he is,” she told him, and he smiled at her and kept stroking her hair.
Cheedo didn’t see how having to choose War Boys herself was a good thing. It seemed very cruel to her. It made it seem like it was her choice to breed with them even though it wasn’t.
She didn’t know how she was going to choose among them. She supposed if she had to, she didn’t mind Chip. There were a couple others who hadn’t been too bad, but she’d only seen them once and she didn’t know their names.
She certainly didn’t intend to breed with Morsov. She almost liked him. It’d be extra awful to be forced to breed with him now.
But the Organic Mechanic assumed she’d choose him and told him when he came to see her. She knew he wouldn’t understand why he was the last War Boy she’d choose, that it’d hurt his feelings if she refused.
It had to be done by some War Boy and at least he wouldn't hurt her any more than he had to. So Cheedo told him to do it and waited for it to be over.
But it wasn't even starting. Morsov was looking troubled and telling her he couldn't.
She was pleasantly surprised when he asked to kiss her. He didn't seem like he knew how to kiss, though, so Cheedo showed him. But then he started kissing her all over and she realized he did know what to do. And it felt good.
He lifted her up and slid behind her, and continued kissing and touching her neck and shoulders and chest. She felt her skin heating and her sex growing moist. She wanted him to touch her between her legs, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She put her hand over one of his and he seemed to understand what she wanted, letting her guide his hand where she wanted his touch.
She'd almost forgotten what he was going to do, and she felt her fear return when he asked if she was ready. She wasn't, not really. But she had to get pregnant so they'd stop.
She was surprised it didn't hurt, but even more surprised that he didn't fuck her. He was inside her, but he was just holding her and kissing her and touching her like before. It felt amazing. It was almost like being with the Dag, but very different too, and not just because of the male part of him. She felt herself squirming for more, and then he did begin thrusting in and out of her, but even that felt good too.
She didn't realize how much she needed it when he asked her to show him how to stimulate her clit. His arm holding her solidly against him, his finger on her clit, his manhood inside her, and his lips on the back of her neck - it was an overwhelming combination of sensations. She wanted to scream, but she knew better than to.
He reached his climax not long after she did, but instead of getting up and tucking himself back into his trousers and walking away, he stayed with her, holding her and still planting kisses on her neck and face.
She couldn't believe how different it was from the first time. But back then she'd just been a breeder for him to use and now... Well, she was still a breeder, but he liked her as a person, enough to make love to her instead of simply using her body. Cheedo decided she liked him as a person too.
Having him there made her feel better. She could almost pretend he was the only one. The Organic Mechanic made fun of her, and Cheedo knew Capable and Toast thought it was perverse - they didn't say anything to her, but she could tell - but it wasn't so bad when he was part of it, so Cheedo asked him to be part of it every time.
She knew she didn't have to breed with him every time. Nobody was making her. But it made her feel better to be with him after the other War Boys had finished and left. She remembered how the other wives would bathe after a visit from Joe, as if they were trying to clean more than their bodies. Making love with Morsov was cleansing in a way, it helped to wipe away the feel of the War Boys she hadn't wanted to breed with but had to.
Some of the War Boys didn't like sharing her with Morsov, and some of them seemed to enjoy it more than using her alone, but neither type mattered to her. Most of them didn't like that she wouldn't kiss them and refused to touch them, but with Morsov there they couldn't force her to. She had no choice but to let them breed with her, but she didn't have to kiss them.
She didn't mind kissing Morsov though. In fact, Cheedo liked it very much. She liked everything about being with him. The way he had of keeping his hands and mouth on her while he was inside her, of making her feel wholly surrounded and enveloped by him, that made it possible to ignore everything and everyone else around them. And he never just left her when he was done, he always stayed to hold her and talk to her.
Before, when it was her alone with a different War Boy every day, even though she'd wanted it over and them gone, she'd always felt bad when they just got up and left, ignoring her like she wasn’t even there anymore. It didn't make any sense, she knew she should have been glad, but it’d just seemed like a final insult after the injury.
Being held by Morsov was nice and Cheedo liked it. She felt guilty sometimes, wondering if the Dag would be hurt by her choosing to be with a War Boy when she didn't have to. But she told herself the Dag would want her to feel good, even if it was with someone else, even if it was with a War Boy. She hoped it was true.
Morsov kissed her forehead. "I have to go. Better I leave before Organic throws me out."
Cheedo clung to him, refusing to let him pull away. She hated the awful things the Organic Mechanic said to them and it made her angry to think of the terrible things he probably told the Dag. But she hated being alone more. She missed sharing a bed with the Dag, and she missed sharing a cell with Capable and Toast.
He kissed her forehead again. "Got a run to the Bullet Farm tomorrow, but I'll come see you before I go and again when I get back."
"All right. Have sweet dreams."
"I'll try to dream about you."
Not war or Valhalla? she wanted to ask. But she didn't want to remind him of those things.
“I’ll try to dream about you too,” she lied. She liked dreaming of some green place or of the Dag. It was him she imagined with her as she drifted to sleep, though.
Cheedo had liked him as a person for some time now, and she liked him in the way that made her want to make love with him. But she realized now that she might love him and that was alarming.
Other War Boys had found out that it was she who decided which of them got to breed with her now, not the Organic Mechanic, so lots of them came to see her to try to persuade her to choose them. They tried to convince her they were the best and deserved to father babies, and some brought her gifts.
A few of them tried to persuade her that she ought to like them more than Morsov.
“He was spawned by Buzzards. And he was so stupid. Took him forever to realize he’d been saved by the Immortan. He used to cry all the time when we were pups. You don’t want to breed with that filth, Fragile. Pick me.”
Then finally, finally, she was pregnant. She wouldn’t have to breed with any of them anymore. And her cell was no longer locked. It was nice to be able to walk about the Blood Shed and go speak to Toast, but Cheedo had no intention of leaving. She didn’t know how Capable did it, but she simply didn’t trust that War Boys wouldn’t still try to force themselves on her.
“Come with me,” Capable urged her. Capable was very brave.
Cheedo did want to have a bath, but she remembered how all those War Boys had watched the first time the Organic Mechanic took them to the bathing pool. They probably would have attacked her and Capable and Toast if Prime hadn’t ordered them to go away.
Capable knew when there weren’t any War Boys there, though, when there were only War Pups. So Cheedo went with her. It was very nice to have baths again.
Morsov still came to see her every day. Cheedo appreciated it. She liked spending time with him and she’d miss him if he didn’t visit.
Though she couldn’t imagine why he’d think she’d be interested in guns or in his crew. Did he think she’d forgotten that they’d stopped her and the others from escaping and killed Furiosa and all raped her? Had he forgotten?
She denied it when he asked if she was mad at him, not wanting to make him angry. Men did awful things when they were angry. She’d learned that even before the vault and Immortan Joe.
But he didn’t get angry at her. He just seemed disappointed. Sad even.
Cheedo realized the guns were important to him and he wanted to show them off to the people who mattered to him. He’d drawn no distinction between his War Boy friends and her, as if he didn’t realize she was still a breeder. But he’d also equated her with the new gun as the best things he’d ever had. She wasn’t a thing.
It seemed like there were two totally different sets of thoughts in his head that contradicted each other. She didn’t know how he could believe both. There was probably a word or a term for it. Toast would know.
Cheedo refused to give Morsov the War Boy the satisfaction of ‘witnessing’ his guns, but she still liked Morsov the person.
She wished Capable hadn’t forced her to leave the Blood Shed, though she understood that it was to help Toast. Cheedo didn’t want to take care of War Pups - she had nothing against them, she just didn’t want to. And she hated the way the older boys and men in the Citadel stared at her.
Seeing the war rig should have reminded Cheedo of the worst day ever, but it only reminded her that Morsov was here somewhere. Cheedo found that she wanted his company more than Capable’s. Capable could only talk to War Boys and let them hurt her instead of Cheedo, but Morsov could make them leave her alone.
She worried she’d hurt Capable’s feelings by letting her know she wanted to stay with Morsov instead of spending the day with her. But she just felt so much better with his arm around her.
She’d scarcely been able to notice anything about the rest of the Citadel before, all her attention had been on the Boys who’d seemed ready to grab her. Now she realized it wasn’t even as dark down here as it’d seemed. There were vents in the outer areas to let in air and light, and the inner caves had lanterns hung at regular intervals.
The old War Boy Morsov called Ace stared at Cheedo, but it wasn’t like how the others stared at her. He looked like the sight of her hurt him somehow. Cheedo realized that he’d never come to the Blood Shed to breed with her or Toast. She supposed the Organic Mechanic had never chosen him, but that seemed odd. He hadn’t stayed to rape her the day of the escape either.
Thinking of that day should have ruined the safe feeling Morsov gave her. But that day seemed very distant, like it was so long ago and so far away. And he was right here and so solid.
She heard War Boys whispering to each other about her and him.
“Why do you think she likes him so much?”
“Capable likes me.”
“Capable likes everyone, but she doesn’t let anyone touch her for more than a moment.”
“He fixed her, made her stop crying.”
“Yeah, but how?”
By treating her like a person. But Capable was trying to teach them that, and if they weren’t learning from her, they weren’t going to listen to Cheedo. So Cheedo ignored them and concentrated instead on what Morsov’s friend Elvis was saying about his car.
There were bridges once that were massive constructs of steel or stone spanning vast distances. Cheedo had marveled at the photographs and drawings in the books in the vault. The bridges between the three rock towers that formed the Citadel, however, were merely woven rope. If a person slipped while crossing them, she would fall and die.
Cheedo let go of the rope meant to help crossers steady themselves. She turned to face Morsov and put her arms around his neck. She knew he wouldn’t let her fall. She looked into his eyes, trying to make sense of the way she felt.
She loved him and she was certain that he loved her too. And she missed making love with him. It didn’t matter that she was pregnant and she didn’t have to breed anymore - what they did wasn’t breeding. She wanted to be with him.
The cave was totally dark and it was disconcerting at first, but knowing she couldn’t be seen by anyone made Cheedo braver. It seemed to make Morsov different too. He wasn’t slow and gentle once he was inside her, like he usually was, but Cheedo found that she didn’t mind. She wouldn’t have thought it could feel good like that, but it did.
She wished he wouldn’t have reminded her of the past, though she was glad he no longer tried to claim he hadn’t realized what he was doing when he’d done it. Maybe that was true of other War Boys, maybe they really were so brainwashed that they believed everything they did in Joe’s name was okay, but not Morsov. He was different.
She didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to need her to say anything. He just leaned into her, seeming to enjoy being held by her as much as she liked being held by him. Cheedo clutched him tighter. This had done nothing to breed more pups for the Citadel and Joe. No one else had seen it or would ever know about it. It might as well as never happened… Except for her and him.
“Chip asked me to go listen to the Doof Warrior play.”
“Do you want to go?” Morsov asked her.
Cheedo had only heard the Doof Warrior’s music as she waited, heartbroken and terrified, for Immortan Joe to reach them so the war rig crew could hand her and the other wives back to him. Except then he’d given her to them and given Capable and Toast to the rest of the Citadel’s War Boys.
But that was the past and it was over and done and dwelling on it would only cause her pain. Maybe she’d hear something different if she heard the Doof Warrior play again. “Yes.”
Cheedo and the other wives could sing and play musical instruments. Immortan Joe had Miss Giddy teach them, and one of their duties as his wives had been to entertain him when he wanted entertainment. Cheedo had liked that part, and she hadn’t understood why the others were so angry about it. She understood now that it was just another thing Joe took from them that they didn’t want to give him.
She confided this to Morsov.
“You can sing?! I’d love to hear you sing.”
But Cheedo didn’t feel like singing, so she didn’t. And Morsov didn’t demand that she sing.
The music the Doof Warrior made with his guitar were very different from the music Capable made with hers, but it didn’t sound bad. It was interesting. The drummers were very good too.
Cheedo told Chip he and the others sounded good and he looked very happy. He looked like he might have tried to kiss her if he wasn’t afraid of Morsov beating him. Cheedo snuggled against Morsov, grateful for his presence. She liked Chip but only as a person, though he couldn’t seem to understand that.
There were other War Boys there, and War Pups and platform guardians and other people who weren’t kept in chains, though Cheedo knew they were all slaves, not just the ones kept in chains or cages. Capable was there too, petting a little boy as she listened.
Cheedo felt happy. Until she remembered the Dag imprisoned alone up in the vault, and Angharad with Joe, and Toast bitterly unhappy, with War Boys wanting to hurt her even though she was pregnant. She felt guilty and ashamed then.
Morsov seemed to sense that her mood had fallen. He kissed her forehead and hugged her tighter. It made her feel better, but then she felt guilty all over again because the others didn’t have anyone to make them feel better. She was lucky to have Morsov.